


this is erosion

by CruelRage



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Asexual Sirius Black, Awkward Flirting, Bad Parent Lyall Lupin, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Gay Sirius Black, Halloween, Hogwarts, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Meet-Cute, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Sirius Black Speaks French, Strangers to Lovers, Texting, Welsh Remus Lupin, Werewolf Remus Lupin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:10:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 63,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27128372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CruelRage/pseuds/CruelRage
Summary: In sixth year, Lily charms a few phones to survive working at Hogwarts, and Sirius accidentally texts Remus instead of James. Remus, a homeschooled werewolf living in Wales, meets Sirius, the disgraced Black heir living at Hogwarts. Somewhat of a Modern!AU because phones weren’t really a thing in the 70s.
Relationships: James Potter & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 254
Kudos: 536





	1. Chapter 1

Saturday, October 23rd

5:56pm 

**Prongs if this actually works i suppose I’ll have to apologize to Evans for calling her a brain dead hag**

_Dunno what a prongs is but you’ve got the wrong number mate_

**Wrong number?**

_Yeah. You’re texting the wrong person_

**Shite.**

**I knew Evans deserved to be called a hag. So you’re not James?**

_Can’t say that i am_

**But how do i text him?**

_You could try getting his number right_

**Okay**

_Ok_

**But let’s say I’m absolutely hopeless with technological, could you walk me through the steps for that?**

_…_

_The steps for texting the correct number?_

**Er**

**Yes**

_I’d start by asking the person who you’re trying to text for their number_

_And then entering it into your phone correctly instead of bungling it all up_

**Oi!**

**I didn’t bungle it up, Evans did**

_And Evans is?_

**Prongs’ girlfriend**

_So Prongs is a person_

**Yep my best mate**

_And you can’t just ask him what his number is?_

**I suppose I could, but I wouldn’t know how to text him**

**Evans is the one who knows how to do all this, it shouldn’t even be possible here**

_I’m going to go out on a limb here and say this is your first phone?_

**Yep**

_So what are you, 12?_

**What?? No**

**I’m 17, nearly 18**

_And this is your first phone? Your parents must be bloody strict_

**Hah**

**you don’t know the half of it**

_Interesting_

_Well this isn’t really any of my business so I’m gonna let you get back to trying to text your mate_

_Try not to bother any other innocent souls on the internet today_

**Wait you’re not going to help me?? It’s important that I figure this out**

_Unfortunately for you, it’s really not my problem that you’re 17 and still don’t know how to text_

**It’s not my fault :(**

_So you’ve discovered emoticons but you can’t figure out a simple text_

_Just make that Evans bird help you_

**If I ask for help after calling her a hag she’s gonna he**

**hate me**

_Sounds like something you should’ve thought of before you called her a hag_

**:(**

* * *

8:09pm

**Welp, I figured it out, no help from you**

_It only took you an hour and a half_

**It’s not my fault! James was ignoring me because I called his stupid girlfriend names**

_so James and Prongs are the same person?_

_You know what, I don’t even know why I ask, I don’t really care_

**Yes Prongs is James**

**And if you don’t care, why are you responding??**

**Hullo?**

**...**

**Ok, real mature**

_I am perfectly mature for my age_

_Unlike some people who have just figured out texting_

**Not. My. Fault.**

**How old even are you??**

_Wouldn’t you like to know_

**You know my age**

_You’re the one who volunteered their age to a random man on the internet_

**So you’re a man!**

_Well spotted_

**I’m a guy too**

**I hope you aren’t like 60**

_Why does it matter?_

**Well I don’t really fancy texting a 60 year old man at 8 at night**

_But if I’m young it’s fine?_

**Well yeah, if you’re my age you’re less likely to solicit me for sex**

_Wow._

_I could still try to solicit you for sex even if I was your age_

**Well are you?**

_that’s for me to know you to find out_

**text mannnnnnnn :(**

_Is that your name for me? “Text man”_

**What else am I supposed to call you**

**Quite literally all I know about you is your gender and that you look down on those who don’t have texting experience**

_Well you don’t really need to know much about me, we_ **_are_ ** _strangers_

**Strangers who are now forever bonded because you’re my first text!**

_That is a ridiculous premise to base a bond on_

**I’ve made friends over less**

_Oh we’re friends now are we_

**Yes, text man, we are**

_Christ._

**If you don’t want to share about yourself, I can go first**

**I’m a 17 year old boy from England but I’m at a kind of boarding school in Scotland.**

**That’s pretty safe basic info, don’t you think?**

**Hullo?**

* * *

Sunday, Octorber 24th 

1:28am 

_Fine._

_I’m 17 (so no I’m not trying to solicit you for sex) and I live in Wales._

* * *

11:13am 

**What a great thing to wake up to**

**Now all I need is a name to call you that isn’t text man**

_Quite literally anything would be better than text man_

**What about Whale?**

_…_

_Why do you want to call me Whale_

**Well you live in Wales**

_That is not_

_Good lord_

_Okay you can just call me Moony_

**Moony?**

_Yep, it’s been my nickname since I was a kid. Idk who even started it at this point_

**Wait what’s “idk”**

_Oh right_

_It’s slang for I don’t know_

**Ah**

**I was gonna make a joke about “if you don’t know what it means, why use it” but I thought better of it**

_Good because I may have blocked you for that_

**:(**

**Anyway, do I get any backstory on the name Moony?**

_It’s just a play off my real name_

**Which I guess I don’t get to know**

_What’s the point of the nickname if you get to know my real one?_

_Anyway, what should I call you_

**Now I don’t know much about this internet stuff, but I assume I shouldn’t just give out my name?**

_Correct_

_You could just give me a nickname_

**Hm that’s just as well, you probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you my name**

**You can call me Padfoot**

_So you’re Padfoot and your mate is Prongs_

_Is there a P-name theme or is that purely coincidence?_

**Hah that’s just coincidence**

_And do I get any backstory on your nickname?_

**Well I’m Padfoot because I’m fourth year my mates and i pulled a glorious prank on the girls in our house and they played one back using, well, pads**

_Huh_

**My mates let me walk around for a full day with a** **_pad_ ** **stuck to my foot**

 **It was** **_not on._ **

_Okay but you can’t say you wouldn’t do the same to them if they were_ **_in your shoes_ **

**Was that**

**Was that supposed to be a** **_pun??_ **

_I can be punny_

**Mer**

**Mercy, is this what it’s like to talk to me**

_Now you know the pain_

**hm it’s not so terrible**

_Sure_

_Ok and how did Prongs get his nickname_

**Ooh that’s a fun story**

**Ok so**

**Before Evans and Prongs got together he was obsessed with her. And I mean** **_obsessed_ ** **. For years he was constantly asking her out and making these grand gestures and taking the piss so she’d pay attention to him**

**Well one day he was messing with her during lunch when she was obviously already in a bad mood**

**And she just fucking**

**Stabbed him in the hand with a fork**

**Like way harder than the situation warranted**

**So he got sent to infirmary and she was in pieces and felt bad (which is what led to them reconciling and eventually getting together)**

**But long story short, he has 4 scars on his hand from the prongs of that fork**

**And thus he became Prongs**

_Wow_

_Ok 1. How are they together?? She assaulted him and he annoyed her for years  
_ _and 2. Infirmary? I know you said you went to a boarding school so I knew you had to be a bit posh but… you call the nurse’s office the infirmary?_

 **Well 1. They are a sickening couple. They bicker constantly when they aren’t snogging each other half to death, but even I have to admit it was a long time coming  
** **And 2. I guess you could say James and I were raised pretty posh but the school definitely isn’t. If anything it’s made me less posh**

_Ok but just because the school is less posh than you are doesn’t mean it’s not posh_

_I might just call you posh boy instead of Padfoot_

**Okie doke then I’ll just call you whale man**

_“Okie doke”_

_And that is still a terrible name_

**You are absolutely no fun**

_Aren’t I just ;)_

**Yeah well I**

_… you?_

_Padfoot you what?_

* * *

1:27pm 

**Sorry, James stole my phone and forced me to exercise >:(**

_Wow the emoticons are getting better and better_

**I’m going to pretend I know what emoticons are**

**Anyway, I am sweating in places I do not want to be sweating and I hate James very much**

_Mm_

_Did you consider this might be revenge for the whole hag situation_

**I already apologized to Lily for that, I think James just likes to see me suffer**

_I assume Lily is Evans?_

**Hah that’s a funny way to word it**

**Lily is her first name, Evans is her last**

_Is she going to appreciate you giving her full name to some bloke you texted on accident_

**…**

**she’ll never have to know**

_It is now my mission in life to find Lily Evans and tell her you gave out her full name on the internet_

**You’re just plain evil, she’ll have my balls as a trophy**

_Would James really let her get her hands on your balls?_

**Hah, here’s one thing to know about Lily Evans: no one “lets” her do anything. She does as she pleases and if you have a problem with it you can shove it where the sun don’t shine**

_Damn she’s sounds like a real witch_

**Hah**

**You could say that**

**But no, she’s actually incredibly nice and has like and impeccable moral compass**

**But she is her own woman and will not take your shit**

_Ok that makes her seem considerably more likable_

**She’s definitely likable**

**She’s slated to be Head Girl next year**

_Ugh, the Head Girls at my school were all bossy know it all’s with sticks up their arses_

**Oh no, she’s definitely that as well**

**But she’s relaxed a bit the past couple years, and has relaxed a whole lot more now that she’s dating James, Hogwarts’ resident troublemaker**

**Second only to me, of course**

_…_

_Padfoot_

**Yes?**

_Are you telling me_

_That your boarding school is named_ **_Hogwarts_ ** _??_

**Absolutely it is**

_That is the single worst thing I’ve ever heard_

**:)**

_I’m sorry but I simply cannot be messaging a boy who goes to a school named Hogwarts_

**:(**

_Sorry posh boy, try going to a less ridiculous school next time_

**Ok well what’s the name of your school??**

**I’m sure it’s so normal and non-warty, eh?**

_Well it was St. Augustine’s but er_

_I’m actually being homeschooled right now_

**Homeschooled? Like u learn at home?**

_Er yes_

_Do you really not know what that is?_

**Let’s just say I was sheltered as a kid**

**Very. Very sheltered**

_Okay. Well, I went to St. Augustine’s until last year, but I had to stop so now I’m being homeschooled for sixth and seventh year_

**Oh, why’d you have to stop**

_Reasons_

**That’s enlightening**

_Yep_

**Okayyyyy new topic**

_Sorry, it’s just kinda personal_

**I understand**

**You don’t have to explain yourself to me**

_Ok thanks_

_I think I may go take a nap_

**Ok**

**I’m sorry if I upset you**

_You haven’t_

_I actually take naps quite often you’ll find_

**Alright**

**Goodnight I guess Moony**

_Goodnight I guess Padfoot_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fanfic after reading what has to be hundreds of wolfstar fics. Please be kind and offer constructive criticism if you have it. Thank youuuu <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: descriptions of homophobia and mentions of (false) sexual assault allegations. Nothing that serious or graphic, just some vague mentions.

Sunday, October 24th

6:06pm

_Okay sorry for the sort of abrupt end to our conversation earlier I guess_

_I just get tired pretty easily and I was up late last night_

**Hey no worries, Evans and Prongs kicked me out of the dorm to “study” anyway and I can’t have my phone outside of it so**

_Damn they “study” in your dorm?_

_And why can’t you have your phone outside the dorm?_

**I let them have it on Sundays**

**Phones aren’t really allowed at Hogwarts**

_Shite really? What is this, the 1600s?_

**I mean I’ve never really had one so I don’t miss it**

**And no one at school has them either so it’s not like I’m missing out**

_No one’s snuck them in from home??_

_If my school had a no phone policy it would absolutely be ignored or worked around_

**Er I suppose Hogwarts is just very strict. My mates and I are the only ones I’ve heard of with phones**

_Blimey, it’s like a different world_

**Hah yeah**

**So how was your nap?**

_Actually very refreshing, thank you for asking. What did you do while you were exiled from the dorms?_

**Oh you know, lost to Peter at chest, snuck food from the kitchens, the usual**

_Is Peter another one of your mates_

**Oh yeah, he’s the third in our dorm, along with Kingsley**

**Though James Pete and I don’t really talk to Kingsley, he’s the swot type**

_Is Kingsley his first name or last?_

**It’s his first name**

_Wow and I thought mine was eccentric_

_Kingsley takes the cake though_

**I dunno if it’s weirder than my name. I bet your name isn’t**

_Don’t be so sure about that_

**Well you said yours is less weird than Kingsley’s, and mine is at least on the same level as his**

_I guess_

_Idk maybe I just have a cool name complex_

**I go back and forth between loving and hating my name**

_Really? Why?_

**On one hand it’s pretty cool and unique**

**But on the other it’s connected to family in a way that I can’t really change**

_How do you mean?_

**Our entire line has a sort of theme to our names**

**And my name follows that theme, which means I stand out, but only in a way that’s linked to them**

**And I hate being linked to them**

_Oh_

_I’m sorry Padfoot_

_It sucks having a constant reminder of things better left out of mind_

**Yeah.**

**But it’s okay, because all my friends call me Padfoot and all the birds at school think my name is bloody cool**

_Pull a lot of birds, do you?_

**I mean**

**I suppose**

_You suppose?_

**It’s more of an ego boost than anything else, getting girls**

**Don’t tell James this, but I actually haven’t been with a girl. At all.**

_That’s not something to be ashamed of_

**I know**

**It’s just. Kinda weird for someone my age I guess.**

**And**

**And it’s not like I couldn’t, even.**

**I just. Don’t.**

**Y’know?**

_I think I do_

_I’m the same_

**You are?**

_If we’re talking about the same thing, then yeah_

**Okay**

**It feels a little better to know there’s someone like me**

_Yeah it does_

_Erm so you said you’ve never been with a girl before_

**Yeah**

_Have you_

_I mean, tell me to fuck off if I’m overstepping but_

_Have you ever been with a boy_

**I**

**No I haven’t**

**Have you?**

_Yes_

**Was it**

**I mean is it like how I think it would be?**

_Yes_

_And more_

**Wow**

**Ok**

**Good to know**

_Yeah_

**Uhm**

**Maybe a new topic then?**

_Yes that’d be good_

_Tell me more about your friends_

**Mercy, I could talk about them for ages**

**James has been my mate for years now, he was the only one nice to me in first year because I was a right little shit**

**I met Pete at the same time but we only really became friends because James and him were like childhood friends**

_So you and James are close then_

**Yeah absolutely, i dunno if I’d survive without him**

_Ah_

**We’re basically brothers at this point, I go to his house for holidays and everything**

_Oh_

_Okay cool_

_Are you only close with Lily because of James?_

**Nah, I’ve been friends with her for a few years now**

**She’s a bit more grounded than a lot of people in my year, so I like to spend time with her when I need peace and quiet**

**Which only happens rarely, I admit, but she’s nice to have around**

_That’s like the opposite of me_

_Most of the time I like my peace and quiet but every once in a while I to let loose and go a bit wild_

_But hey, opposites attract so_

**Yeah they do :)**

**So what type of quiet are you?**

_What type?_

**Yeah like are you bookish quiet or weird quiet or hidden depths quiet, that sort of thing**

_Well I quite like the sound of hidden depths quiet, but realistically I’m probably bookish quiet_

_If you knew me you’d likely call me a swot_

**I know you perfectly well and I wouldn’t call you a swot**

_Padfoot you know next to nothing about me_

**And whose fault is that?**

_I’m guessing you think it’s mine?_

**Who else?**

_Ok fine, what do you want to know_

**_That’s a dangerous question, Moony_ **

**_I want to know everything_ **

_Everything? That’s a tall order_

_Idk what to say, I’m pretty boring_

**Blasphemy! I’ve been talking to you for two days and I’m not bored at all**

_Not sure you know what blasphemy is but ok_

_I dunno, if you have questions you can ask them but I really dunno what to say about myself_

**Hmm ok**

**Let’s start with what you ate for dinner last night**

_What I ate for dinner? Of all the questions in the universe you could ask me, you ask what I had for_ **_dinner_ ** _?_

**What do you want me to ask Moony? What your deepest darkest secret is?**

_You could_

_I probably wouldn’t tell you though_

**Probably**

_Probably_

**Well? Answer the question**

_I had chicken pot pie last night, wbu?_

**Not exactly the question i meant but okay**

**Chicken pot pie: yum. Wbu: ??**

_It means what about you_

**Oh, I had a whole bunch of shite**

_Wow Padfoot, you have such a way with words_

**D’ya see, my stupid question helped me learn something about you - you’re snarky**

_It’s my main personality trait, yes_

**Not your main trait**

**Hold on**

_Holding_

**Prongs is yelling at me because “it’s nearly 7 and you’ve had your head stuck in that blasted rectangle for the past 45 minutes” and “what could possibly be so damn interesting that you’re ignoring your best mate”**

**As if he didn’t have his hand up Evans’ skirt an hour ago**

_Well, what are you gonna tell him?_

**Probably to shove off and do something unspeakable involving his prick and a wild animal**

_No i mean_

_About what’s keeping you so attached to your phone_

**Oh**

**Well I was gonna tell him about you**

_Okay_

**And that you’re almost definitely not soliciting me for sex**

_Sounds like a plan_

**Idk, this feels important all of a sudden**

**Does it feel important?**

_I dunno Padfoot, I can’t tell you what to feel_

**Okay**

**Then it’s just ordinary**

_Okay_

**I really do have to go though, we’re executing a prank tonight and we need to stamp out the details beforehand**

**And I have to tell Prongs about the random boy I accidentally texted who may or may not be soliciting me for sex**

_Lol okay, have fun being the troublesome teen my parents warned me not to make friends with_

**You love it**

_Do I?_

**;)**

**I’ll talk to you later Moony**

_Talk later Padfoot_

* * *

Monday, October 25th

6:38am

**So are you going to tell me what “lol” means**

* * *

10:49am

_What is wrong with you_

_6am is not an appropriate time to text people_

_You’re lucky my phone was on silent_

* * *

12:16pm

**Moony, I came all the way back to my dorm before lunch** **_just_ ** **to check my phone, and all I get is verbal (visual?) abuse?? I’m hurt**

_I’m sorry that you made the decision to text me at 7 in the morning_

**That is a terrible apology**

**I’m sorry that I have** **_school_ ** **to attend, unlike some people in this conversation**

_I have school_

**I know, I just meant I have to be up early for a reason, it’s not choice**

_You have to be up at 6 for school?_

**Well**

**No**

**It’s more for sports, but that’s kinda school**

_No it is not_

**Ok stop arguing with me, I only have as long as it takes for James to find his tie before I have to go down for lunch**

**Please tell me what lol means**

_You’re an idiot_

_Lol means “laugh out loud” but it’s kinda morphed into just an expression of humor or a way to begin/end sentences_

_Kinda like hah_

**Ooh such an in depth explanation for this one, I like it**

**Teacher Moony**

_Lol_

**Good one**

**Ok I have to go, I’ll talk to you after classes**

_Ttyl_

**???**

_;)_

* * *

4:21pm

**All this new slang is especially confusing when you don’t explain it for hours**

**Moony**

**I must know what ttyl means**

_And why can’t you go to Evans with these burning questions?_

**Do you want me to?**

_Not really_

_Ttyl means talk to you later_

_It’s not really used all that often tho_

**By you**

**There may be people who exclusively use ttyl when ending a conversation**

_How would you know Mr. How Do I Text Someone I’m Sitting Right Next To_

**Wow Moony**

**I see now that you’re nothing more than a bully**

**Mocking me, leaving my on cliffhangers, yelling at me for texting you**

_I wasn’t yelling at you for texting me_

_I was berating you for possibly waking me up_

**Tomato tomato**

_…_

_That didn’t work out like you planned, huh?_

**No it did not**

**Yet another mistake you’ve pointed out :,(**

_Ok seriously where are you learning to do these emoticons_

**I’m not** **_learning_ ** **I’m** **_inventing_ **

_Hate to break it to you, but you didn’t invent emoticons_

**I may as well have since I’m so good at them**

_You are a ridiculous person_

**You love it**

_Do I?_

**You’re repeating yourself Moons**

_So are you_

**Touché**

_Also “Moons”? Am I getting nicknames for my nickname now?_

**Maybe you are, Moonshine**

_Two can play at that game, Paddycake_

**:D**

_You’re not supposed to like it_

**What’s not to like?**

_About you? I’m sure quite a bit_

**:(**

_I’m kidding_

_I like what I see so far_

**My teachers say I could charm the skin off a snake**

_Your teachers say that?_

**Well not exactly that but it’s basically the same thing**

_And why, pray tell, do your teachers need charming?_

**Well I’ve told you about the pranks**

**They don’t always go off without a hitch**

**This is why so much of my time is devoted to planning them properly**

_Which is why you so callously abandoned me earlier_

**Yes**

_So you have to charm your teachers out of, what? Writing your parents?_

**Oh no, they’d never write my parents**

**Mostly I try to convince them it wasn’t me who blew up the toilets**

**And if they know it’s me I try to charm my way out of detention**

_You’ve blown up toilets?? How are you not expelled?_

**Okay maybe blew up is an exaggeration**

**I more just flooded them**

_Still_

_I’ve been kicked out of schools for less_

**You’ve been kicked out of school?**

_Well not kicked out exactly_

_More asked to leave_

**Thats**

**I won’t ask why but if you want to talk about it you can**

_It’s not all that serious, just a few misunderstandings_

**Okay**

**As long as I’m not talking to a delinquent**

_Oh_ **_I’m_ ** _the delinquent? Who here has blown up a toilet again?_

**I didn’t blow it up!**

_That’s not what you said a minute ago_

**> :(**

_Okay tech genius, calm down_

**Hey Moony**

_Yes?_

**This is off topic, but can we continue the question thing?**

_If you’re so interested in me, go ahead_

**I am**

**What’s your favorite color?**

_Oh_

_Hm_

_Probably dark green_

**Moony! How dare you**

_What?_

**Green is the color of snakes**

_Okay and?_

**Our rival house are the snakes**

_I’m still not seeing the issue_

**You can’t like green because that means you like the Slytherins (snakes) and if you like the Slytherins then you hate Gryffindor which is my house. Then if you hate Gryffindor then you must hate me and we can't be**

**Friends**

_..._

_You realize how utterly unhinged you sound, yes?_

**Yes but I stand behind it**

_You’re criminally insane_

**Yeah but you love it ;)**

_Yeah_

_So I guess my second favorite color is pastel blue, is that acceptable_

**Hmmm Ravenclaw’s color**

_Oh Christ_

**I suppose I’ll accept it**

**Don’t get me wrong, Ravenclaw’s no Gryffindor, but I’ve always admired them**

_Ok wait, you really need to give me a rundown of the houses at your posh boarding school_

**Ok, ignoring the posh comment, here’s the rundown**

**Gryffindor: red &gold, bravery and perseverance are valued, objectively the best house**

**Ravenclaw: blue &silver, intellect and wit are valued**

**Slytherin: green &silver, evilness and ambition are valued, objectively the worst house**

**Hufflepuff: yellow &black, empathy and tenacity are valued**

_Wow_

_Ok just because you put the word “objectively” in front of something doesn’t mean you’re actually being objective_

**I have no idea what you’re talking about and I refuse to take criticism on this matter**

_Sounds about right_

_Alright, we’re going to have to continue this riveting discussion about school houses at another time because I have readings to do_

**So you weren’t lying about being a swot**

_Just because I read I’m a swot?_

**Moony, reading for fun is the defining characteristic of a swot**

_Do you even know how to read Padfoot?_

**Oh bugger off and abandon me for your books already**

_Your wish is my command_

**You can’t just give me that kind of power, Moony**

**Oi, get back here and let me command you**

* * *

7:32pm

_And what would you have me do?_

**Hm?**

_Oh nothing it was just a dumb joke_

**Lol ok**

_Look at you picking up internet slang like a pro_

**Will it ruin my credibility if I ask what slang is?**

Yes

**Ok then I definitely know what that means**

_Fuck you’re so cool_

**Mm I like the sound of that**

_You’re saying you don’t hear that all the time from the birds that think your name is “bloody cool”?_

**I mean yeah**

**But it’s nice to hear it from someone who actually knows me**

_Oh then let me say it again without the sarcasm_

_Fuck Padfoot, you’re really cool_

**Thanks Moony**

**Do you wanna keep going with the question thing?**

_As long as you still have questions I’ll still answer them_

**Ok**

**This one’s a bit more personal so you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to**

**But how did you figure out you were**

**Like**

_Like you?_

**Yeah**

_Well_

_Honestly I don’t know_

_I mean there was always something a little different about me, but that could be attributed to any number of things_

_It was really only made clear when my neighbor in year 9 snogged me and I snogged him back_

**Were you guys, like, together?**

_Oh no, we only got that one kiss before his dad found us and threw me out by my shirt_

_That was the first school I was asked to leave_

**God**

**That’s terrible**

**I’m so sorry Moony**

_It is what is_

**Did that sort of thing happen a lot?**

_It was never as bad as that first time_

_Except for when someone I was seeing got found out and told everyone I had forced myself on him_

_That one was rough_

**…**

**Fuck Moony**

**That sounds like hell**

_Yeah, that one was hard to explain to my parents_

_Sorry, I really didn’t mean to make this a whole sad thing_

_It really hasn’t been that bad of a thing. For every bad experience I have a good one_

**Yeah, but it’s okay to talk about the bad things**

**Like, I don’t mind listening if you want to share them**

_Thanks Pads_

_Anyway, I know it’s early but I think I’m actually going to turn in_

**Okay**

_Also, if I don’t respond tomorrow don’t worry, I have some stuff going on_

**Ok**

**Thanks for sharing that with me Moony**

_Thanks for listening_

**Anytime. I mean it**

_I know_

_Goodnight Padfoot_

**Goodnight Moony**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the support, I’ve really enjoyed writing this so far! Please leave a kudos or a comment if you’ve enjoyed it as well!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: very vague allusions to SH (almost not even worth a tw, but I thought I’d include it)

Tuesday, October 26th

7:45am

**I hope you know it took all my willpower not to text you after you went to bed last night**

**You know 8pm is like a super early time to sleep, right?**

* * *

12:22pm

**I think I’m going to start carrying my phone in my robes because it’s too much of a hassle to sneak back to my dorm for it**

* * *

4:12pm

**I know you said you had stuff going on today but I can’t help but be surprised when I don’t get a reply lol**

**Sorry that sounded clingy**

* * *

4:56pm

_Hi Pads_

**Moony!! How was your day??**

_Ok_

_I slept in pretty late_

**Are you one of those early to bed late to wake people?**

_Not usually but last night definitely_

**Well surely you’re feeling refreshed now!**

_Oh yeah, super refreshed_

_I take it you had a good day going by all the punctuation you’re using_

**As good as it could be without talking to you ;)**

**Also I told James I was talking to some boy on the internet and he wants to “meet” you**

_Oh wow, sounds like a barrel of fun_

_Well I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I only really texted you to let you know I wasn’t dead_

**Oh ok**

_I’m sorry, it’s been a long day_

_Talk later?_

**Yeah of course**

**Ttyl Moony**

_Ttyl Padfoot_

* * *

5:25pm

Padfoot where are you

**Kitchens**

You’ve been gone for a half hour

**I’m hungry**

Really? This seems more like pouting behavior

**Fuck you**

Touchy

What’s going on?

**Did you ever think I left the dorm for a reason?**

**Possibly so an unnamed annoying git wouldn’t bother me**

Did you ever think I asked Lily to charm these phones because you’re so prone to fucking off for extended periods of time when you’re upset?

Just talk to me Sirius

**You’ll call me stupid**

Only if you’re being stupid

And you know I won’t if you’re actually upset

**Ugh**

**I was just waiting all day to talk to Moony**

Is he that text boy you were telling me about?

**Yes**

**And I knew he was going to busy today and that’s fine**

**But then he texted me and I thought we were gonna have a conversation but then he left again after like 2 minutes**

**And he didn’t even give a reason really, just that he had only texted me in the first place because he didn’t want me to think he was dead**

**Merlin it sounds so stupid typed out like that**

Well it does seem like a bit of an overreaction

**I knew you’d say that you berk**

But you’re allowed to be upset about it

You don’t always have to give reason to your emotions, you can just feel them and work through them

**Circe, is there actually a brain in that fat head of yours??**

Ok that’s it, compassionate James is gone

Get your sorry arse back to the dorm before I put a dungbomb in your pants drawer

**There’s the Jamesie I know and hate**

**I’ll be up in a bit, I’m gonna nick something from the potions cupboard first**

Don’t get caught

**Silence, ye of little faith**

* * *

Wednesday, October 27th

6:14am

**I personally think it should be illegal to force children to get up before the sun**

* * *

12:37pm

_Nobody’s forcing you to do sports Padfoot_

**You have obviously never met James**

_Mm but I’m supposed to aren’t I?_

**I mean only if you want to**

**I think he was mostly joking when he said that but I can give him your number**

_Why does this feel like meeting the parents_

**Aw Moons are you nervous**

_More apprehensive than anything_

_I really don’t know much about him_

* * *

4:09pm

**Sorry, a teacher almost caught me with my phone so I had to put it away until classes ended**

**But I’ve talked about James plenty of times, haven’t I?**

_Yeah but all you’ve said is that he forces you to do sports, annoyed Lily for years, and is your best friend_

_That’s not much to base his personality off of_

**Ok well let’s see**

**He’s direct, but not in a rude way**

**He’s really truly cares for everyone around him, but he can get caught up in things and not notice who he’s affecting**

**He’s weirdly good at switching between being a goofy prat to being really serious**

**I dunno, he’s just bloody brilliant**

_You sound like you really love him_

**Yeah**

_It’s nice that you have someone you’re so close to_

**What about you Moony, tell me about your friends**

_Oh I’m not really_

_I mean I’ve moved schools so often that it’s not all that easy for me to make long term friendships_

_And I’m homeschooled now so I don’t meet many people_

**Oh**

**That must get lonely**

_A bit_

_I’ve always been independent though, so it doesn’t really bother me most of the time_

**Yeah**

**I’m still sorry though Moony**

**It’s a good thing we’re friends now then isn’t it?**

_Yeah, I suppose it is_

* * *

4:15pm

Hullo, is this Moony?

* * *

4:15pm

_Oh I think I just got a text from James_

**Really?? The git’s supposed to be in detention until 5**

_Should I respond then if he’s not supposed to have his phone?_

**No it’s fine, he would only have it out if he knew he wasn’t going to get caught**

_Ok then give me a few so I can go have an awkward conversation with your best mate_

**Alright**

**Don’t like him better than me**

_Wouldn’t dream of it ;)_

* * *

4:19pm

_Yeah that’s me_

_You’re James?_

Yeah I am

So you’re the bloke talking to Siri

_Siri? I only really know him by his nickname_

You guys don’t even know each other’s names? This just keeps getting weirder and weirder

_I think it’s pretty weird that your best mate is named after Apple’s AI_

I have no clue what you just said

_You don’t know what Siri is?_

I’m pretty sure I do, I live with him

_No I mean_

_Christ_

_The Siri I’m talking about is a kind of technology that comes on Apple phones_

_If you’re using an iPhone you probably have it_

Oh yeah I think we have iPhones

Padfoot told you we’re no good with technology though, yeah?

_Yeah but I thought Lily would have shown you how to use all the features_

Oh so the prat won’t tell you his name but he’ll freely give out my girlfriends?

_Hah I was waiting for that shoe to drop_

_He accidentally gave me her full name_

Really? That git.

Well it was nice speaking with you Moony, but I’ve got a aristocrat to pummel

_I’ll assume the aristocrat in question is Padfoot and wish you luck_

Cheers mate

_Cheers_

* * *

4:31pm

**Moony what the bloody fuck did you say to James**

**He came back from detention early just to kick me**

_Kicked you did he? I’d say you got off easy_

**??**

_Lol I told him about you giving me Lily’s full name_

**MOONY**

**If he tells Evans I’m a dead man walking**

_I’m sure it’s not as serious as that_

**If she kills me that’s on you, Moonface**

_I’m shaking in my boots_

**Hmph**

**Well you and James had a nice long conversation**

**Did you spill any other deadly secrets during your little chat, hm?**

_It really wasn’t that long of a chat_

_And I didn’t spill any important secrets but he may have_

**Fuck**

**What’d he say?? He won’t let me at his phone**

_Not much,_ **_Siri_ **

**He told you my name?? The bastard!**

_He also called you an aristocrat? Not sure what that’s about_

**Bloody hell**

**I’m gonna kill him**

_Down boy_

**What?**

_I was making a joke_

_Telling you to get down, as if you were a dog_

**Er yeah, as if**

**Anyway, this is high treason**

**I’ll have his head for this**

_Mmhm_

_So are you going I explain the aristocrat thing or am I just supposed to make up increasingly elaborate theories in my head_

**I guess I’d better tell you before your brain starts smoking**

**Well, first off my name is Sirius, not Siri**

**James just calls me Siri because he knows it pisses me off**

_Wait, Sirius like the star?_

**Wait**

**Yes**

**How did you know that? No one ever knows that**

_Er I’m a bit of an astrology buff_

**Really?? Why’d you never say?**

_Dunno, it didn’t really seem like pertinent information_

_And I mean you could’ve asked about my hobbies with your questions thing, but instead you decided that knowing my eating habits was much more important_

**Oi, I stand by that question!**

**And yes, I’m Sirius like the star**

**That’s the family names theme I was talking about. We’re all named after stars**

_Mm I know you don’t really like your name, but you are named after the brightest star in the sky_

_That’s pretty fitting, don’t you think_

**…**

**Yeah**

**It is, thanks Moony**

_Anytime Sirius_

**Wow that feels weird**

**Do I get to know your name now**

_Mmm I dunno_

_Let’s hear this aristocrat story first, then I’ll decide_

**Ugh, you’re like a dog with a bone**

_Or a wolf_

**What?**

_Sorry I shouldn’t have said that, it was just a stupid joke_

_Please ignore it_

**Er okay**

**Anyway, James calls me an aristocrat because 1. He’s a dick and 2. My family is, like wealthy and elitist and stupid**

**And that’s not a brag or anything, I fucking hate them and I haven’t used their money or surname in years**

_Okay Padfoot I believe you_

_Why does James call you an aristocrat if it connects you to your family in a way you don’t like though?_

**It doesn’t really upset me**

**I’ve moved on from them for the most part and stupid jokes like that just serve to remind me that I don’t have to deal with their bullshit anymore, so it’s fine**

**He wouldn’t say it if it upset me**

_Okay_

_So if you don’t use your surname, what do you use?_

**James’**

**I’ll tell you what it is if you promise not to tell him I’ve given you his full name now**

_Haha okay deal_

**It’s Potter**

**Honestly I still go by Sirius Black but James and some of my cooler professors call me Sirius Potter**

_That’s actually really sweet_

**So, is my name weirder than yours or not**

_I hate to admit it, but your name is more eccentric than mine_

**…**

**Do I get to know yours?**

_Mm_

_Okay yes_

**!!!**

_Let’s see if you can figure out why my nickname is Moony_

_Okay_

_I’m Remus_

**Remus.**

**Wow this is like a surreal moment, I dunno why**

_I feel the same_

_My full name is Remus John Lupin_

**Oh, I forgot about middle names**

**Mine is Orion (to stick with the star theme of course) but I don’t really use it all because it’s also my father’s name**

_Mm my middle name is my father’s as well and I don’t use it either_

_Well, it’s nice to meet you, Sirius Potter_

**:)**

**It’s nice to meet you too, Remus Lupin**

_Alright, so any guesses as to why my nickname is Moony?_

**Ooh ok hold on**

**Well Remus is like Remus and Romulus, right?**

_Dunno where you’re going with that but yes_

**And they were like raised by wolves**

**Then Lupin kinda sounds like Lupus, which I think Canis Lupus is the actual name for wolves**

**Plus, you made that wolf joke earlier**

_Er yeah_

**So, if I had to make a guess I’d say your name is Moony because of, like werewolves, right?**

**Because they turn on the full moon?**

**…**

**Moony?**

_Oh_

_Uhm I hadn’t thought of it like that_

_It’s_

_It’s actually not quite that_

_Um listen I have to go to dinner Padfoot, I’ll talk to you tomorrow_

**Oh**

**Ok**

**Talk to you tomorrow Moony**

* * *

5:47pm

**I think I pissed him off again Prongs**

What, did you give his full name to someone rando on the internet or something?

**I’m being serious**

Aren’t you always

**Prongs can you not be a bastard for thirty seconds and listen to me?**

Sorry Padfoot, you just make it so easy

What’s up?

**I was talking to him because you couldn’t keep your bloody mouth shut about my name**

How was I supposed to know your _name_ of all things was a secret!

**And so he gave me his name and told me to guess why his nickname was Moony**

**But then as soon as I did he got all cagey and then suddenly said he has to go to dinner, which he’s never had to do before, and told me he’d talk to me tomorrow**

Padfoot maybe he had to go to dinner

**Shut it Prongs, he was acting weird I could tell**

Yeah you and him see real close

**Stop being jealous and help me**

I’m not being jealous Pads, I’m just saying you’re acting a little obsessive about this bloke’s texting habits

**Get fucked Prongs**

I’m just saying, this is the second freak out you’ve had in 24 hours over the same kid

**Forget it, I don’t know why I thought talking to you would be a good idea**

I’m sorry, I was just trying to be honest

But if you’re saying there’s something up, I believe you

**Yeah, thanks for the stunning vote of confidence**

Don’t be that way

I dunno, maybe he has issues with his name like you do?

**Yeah but why wouldn’t he say that? I told him about my whole thing, he knows I wouldn’t judge him or be an arse or whatever**

Just because you’re comfortable talking about your family trauma doesn’t mean he is

You said he’s homeschooled, yeah? He’s probably still living with them so maybe it’s still a touchy subject

**Yeah**

**That could be it**

Mmhm

Now come out of whatever hiding place you holed up in and help me with this Arithmancy homework

**Fine**

**I’m flooding the dungeons first though**

Mm don’t let Lily catch you, she’s doing Prefect rounds

**Your girlfriend’s a swot, mate**

Yeah and she’s prettier than you’ll ever be so

**Lying isn’t very becoming, James**

Fuck you, Sirius

**< 3**

* * *

9:52pm

_Would you prefer I call you Padfoot or Sirius?_

**Hi Moons**

**Um either one works fine, I only hate the name Sirius sometimes**

_Okay, good to know_

**Er look, I’m sorry if I upset you earlier. I of all people should know that family names can be a touchy subject and I’m sorry if I said anything upsetting**

_Oh Christ, no_

_No no Sirius, you’re fine_

_I’m sorry, I’m just a moody fucking git sometimes, you did nothing wrong_

_Really._

**Okay**

**You just left kind of abruptly and I didn’t want to just leave it like that**

_I know_

_It’s just_

_Things can get overwhelming for me sometimes and I guess I don’t have the best coping mechanisms_

_I usually just fuck off and bury my head in a book_

**It’s okay, I’m the same**

**Prongs gets on my case all the time because I go off on my own when I get upset and get myself in trouble**

**Apparently that’s why he had Lily ch**

**Choose these phones in the first place**

_What, so he could like keep track of you?_

**Yeah kinda**

**And talk me down from doing stupid shite when I’m pissed or hurt or whatever**

**So trust me when I say I know about bad coping mechanisms**

_I_

_What type of stupid shite?_

**Like pulling big pranks without caring about getting caught**

**Or just like**

**Putting myself in sticky situations without caring about getting out of them**

_Okay_

_Just stay safe, yeah Padfoot?_

**I will Moony**

**I haven’t done anything really stupid in a few years**

**Fourth year was the worst of it but I’ve learned to handle myself a bit better**

_I’m really glad_

_Would you like to hear how I really got my nickname now?_

**Oh!**

**Yes please**

_Okay_

_It’s actually because when I was younger and couldn’t spell all that well, and I often left the S off my name to make it “Remu” instead of Remus_

_So my parents would call me variations of that as nickname_

_And Remoony was the most common one they used, so it eventually just became Moony_

**Oh that’s super cute**

**I mean, it’s a lot more boring than my theory, but it’s cute**

_Yeah I suppose_

**It’s kinda a crazy coincidence that all 3 of the names you use are somewhat connected to wolves though, don’t you think?**

**Although, Sirius is the Dog Star so that’s kinda a cool coincidence**

_Yeah_

_Um could we change the subject?_

**Oh**

**Yeah of course**

**Do you want to do some questions?**

_That’d be nice_

**Okay, hold on let me think of something good to ask**

_Okie doke_

**Hmm**

**Hey wait, didn’t you make fun of me for saying “okie doke” a while ago??**

_Did I?_

_Well, it’s endearing when I say it_

**Oh you think so?**

_You don’t?_

**I do**

**I think a lot of the stuff you do is endearing**

_I_

_Thank you Sirius_

**You’re welcome Remus**

**Er anyway**

**What’s your biggest fear?**

_Oh_

_Hm I’d have to think about that_

**Take your time**

_I’d have to say_

_Probably hurting the people I love_

**Mm that’s a good one**

_What about you?_

**Ummmm**

**I’d have to say small spaces**

**I’m like violently claustrophobic**

**James and I got locked in a closet once (we may or may not have been running away from a prank gone wrong) and I had a full blown panic attack**

_God that sounds awful_

_I’m sorry Padfoot_

**It’s alright, I’ve learned how to avoid that sort of thing**

**Do you mind if I ask a second question?**

_Ask as many as you like_

**What’s your biggest insecurity?**

_Wow we’re doing deep ones tonight huh?_

_No “what’d you eat for dinner” now_

**Haha yeah, ig I’m just in a deep mood tonight**

**I just like getting to know you Moons**

_I like getting to know you too Padfoot_

_Would you like to answer this one first?_

**Oh yeah I can**

**I think mine’d be how loud I get**

**I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told to quiet down in my life**

_Hm it sucks that people have felt the need to comment so many times that it’s become an insecurity_

**Yeah**

**I mean I get it, I can be kinda boisterous but**

**Sometimes I’m doing nothing at all and just having fun and people still think it’s a funny comment to make**

**It’s whatever though**

_People shouldn’t police how you live_

_I think I’d quite like having a loud fun friend around_

**I think I’d quite like having a quiet snarky friend around :)**

**Anywho, did you want to answer?**

_Oh yeah_

_Er mine is my scars I think_

_They’re kinda all over_

**Oh**

**That must be difficult**

**Do you have to cover them up?**

_Yeah, I’m practically constantly wearing long sleeves and such_

**Why do I get the feeling you’re the type to wear sweater vests**

_Haha not sweater vests (no sleeves) but sweaters definitely_

_I have a frankly disturbing amount of sweaters_

**Wow**

**I want to say I’m surprised, but we both know that’d be a lie**

_You’re just jealous_

_What kind of clothes do you wear? Surely not sweater vests_

**Moony I would not be caught dead in a sweater vest**

**I’ll have you know I am very punk**

_Oh you are, are you?_

_What, you wear eyeliner and ripped skinny jeans and leather jackets?_

**Yes**

**Well**

**Not yet, but once I leave school definitely**

_Why not at school_

**Well we’ve got a uniform**

_Hah square_

**Oi!**

**I am many things, but I am** **_not_ ** **a square**

_Sorry, I can’t hear you over your adherence to the dress code :/_

**Remus just because we have a dress code doesn’t mean I adhere to it**

_Oh?_

**Yeah**

**I’ll have you know, I’ve only worn my tie once this week**

_Mm how naughty_

_You’re quite the bad boy, aren’t you?_

**Oh**

**Yeah I am**

_I was being sarcastic, but ok_

_Is that all for questions tonight?_

**Mm yeah I think so**

**I had to be up for sports this morning and my brain power is slowly leaking away**

**I’ll talk to you tomorrow?**

_Yeah of course_

**Ok**

**Goodnight Remus**

_Goodnight_

_Oh and Sirius?_

**Yeah Moons?**

_I just wanted to say_

_Thanks for being so cool about the whole_

_Scars thing_

_And not, like, asking about them_

**Of course**

**Anything for you Moony**

_Yeah_

_Okay, goodnight Padfoot_

**Goodnight Moony**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, please, PLEASE comment if you enjoyed it! Comments are the only thing keeping me going <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a somewhat difficult time getting through writing this one, so I hope y’all still enjoy it. Notes at the end will include the translations of the French and Welsh (yes, there’s some French and Welsh spoken in this chapter ;))

Thursday, October 28th

10:37am

_Wow this is the first time I haven’t woken up to a text from you_

_I kinda hate it_

* * *

12:25pm

**Miss me Moony?**

_Wouldn’t you like to know_

**Hmm I’ll take that as a yes**

**I’m going to lunch, talk in a bit**

_Okay_

* * *

4:29pm

**So Moons**

_So Pads_

**After you said the whole**

**Er scar thing**

**It got me thinking that I don’t really have any clue what you look like**

_… Alright_

**Um**

**So I was thinking maybe we could describe ourselves to each other**

**Not that it particularly matters what we look like, but I think it’d be nice to have an idea of what you look like when I’m texting you**

_Okay_

_Um why don’t you go first so I know what to say_

**Okay!**

**I’m 5’10” and I have shoulder length black hair. I have silver eyes and like too pale skin**

**Basically whatever you think a vampire looks like? That’s me**

_Haha okay_

_I’m 6’2” with brown curly hair and hazel/amber eyes. I’m actually pretty tan for a kid from Wales, but I’d say it’s a pretty average skin tone for being white_

**…Remus**

_Sirius_

**You’re** **_6’2”???_ **

**What the fuck**

_I didn’t realize that was a big deal?_

**Of course it’s a big deal! You’re a tree**

**I could climb you**

_Mm you could_

_And why didn’t you mention the long hair?_

**What’s so special about long hair**

_I dunno any boys with long hair_

_I think it’s cool_

**Hm**

**Do you really have curls?**

_Yeah_

**Okay cool**

**Very nice**

**Just talking to a gentle giant with curls**

**Very chill**

_Doing alright there Pads?_

**Shut up**

**Yes**

**Am I how you pictured me?**

_I don’t really know what I pictured_

_I think that your physical description of yourself fits what I know of you though_

**I didn’t expect curls**

**I like curls**

_Oh_

_I like long hair_

**Okay**

_Ok_

**Oh by the way, I was thinking today**

_All on your own? Congrats_

**Hush, you**

_Hushing_

**Along with the what you look like thing, I was wondering**

**This phone can make calls, right?**

_Well I’d assume since Prongs said you have iPhones_

**Yeah okay so**

**And please, feel free to say no**

**Would you like to try calling later tonight**

_Oh_

_Um_

_Yeah, I think I’d like that_

**Okay**

**I’ll talk with Lily beforehand so I’ll actually know what I’m doing before I bungle it all up**

_You’ve never even made a phone call before??_

**Um**

**Not on this type of phone?**

_Oh, I bet your family had a landline, eh?_

**Er yes, that’s is**

**Anyway, Prongs is badgering me about helping him plan a last minute party right now**

_Whatever happened to you guys meticulously planning things out?_

**That’s just for pranks and shite that can get us in trouble**

**This should be a perfectly legal party**

**Except for the booze**

**And the staying up past curfew**

**And the inviting other houses into our common room**

**But other than that**

_Mmhm_

_Well good luck with that, I guess I’ll go finish my schoolwork while you abandon me_

**Swot**

_Delinquent_

**Ttyl Moony**

_Ttyl Padfoot_

* * *

10:49pm

_I think I need to go to bed soon_

_If you’re still planning with James we could talk another night?_

**Ugh yes, the man is losing it over decorations**

**We also may have taken a break to prank the Slytherins**

**Another night?**

_Yeah of course_

_Goodnight Sirius_

**Goodnight Remus**

* * *

Friday, October 29th

7:46am

**Mooooony**

**Prongs kept me up until forever planning this stupid party**

**Ergh I stayed up all night and you’re not even here to console me in the morning**

* * *

11:56am

_Padfoot you are simply pathetic in the morning_

_Also good morning to you too_

* * *

12:31pm

**Sorry, good morning Moony**

**Do you have no compassion for the state I’m in**

_I do, I just can’t relate to your exhaustion right now_

**Ugh**

**Serves us right for waiting so late to plan our Halloween party I guess**

_Wait it’s a Halloween party? That sounds so fun!_

**Woah there Moony don’t strain yourself**

**I think this is the first time I’ve seen you use an exclamation mark**

_Sorry, I’m just excited_

**Don’t apologize, it’s sweet**

_Oh_

_Thank you_

_I just really like Halloween_

**Really? Is there a reason?**

_I dunno it’s just a really fun holiday_

_My friend Alice and I dressed up as Bonnie and Clyde last year_

**Ok two things**

**First, I thought you had no friends? Who is this magical Alice?**

**Second, am I going to get clobbered for not knowing who Bonnie and Clyde are?**

_Okay fuck your ordered list, how do you not know Bonnie and Clyde?_

_Ugh Padfoot I have so much to teach you_

**Okay can you teach me in a bit, I’ve classes**

_Yeah of course, talk in a bit_

* * *

4:05pm

**Okay sorry, just assume I’ve been living under a rock and all pop culture references will go right over my head**

_Ok so basically_

_Bonnie and Clyde are this really famous crime couple who did all this cool shite then famously died in a shootout with the cops_

**Mercy, that’s grisly**

_Yeah, but fitting for Halloween_

**Yeah**

**So it was a couples costume?**

_Mm yeah, those are the only ones that really win at costume contests_

**Okay**

**But you weren’t...**

_No we weren’t_

**Okay**

**Well tell me more about Alice then?**

_Oh, I didn’t really want to mention her earlier because_

_I actually know her from the time I spend in the hospital_

_And I wasn’t really in the right mind to field questions about that before_

_I’m still not, to be honest_

**That’s perfectly fine Moony**

**Would you like to talk about her though?**

_Sure_

_She’s really lovely_

_She’s the longest friend I’ve had, I’ve known her as long as we’ve been in Wales, which is about 2 years now_

_She’s kinda really frank, but in the best way possible_

_Like she calls me on my shite and knows when to push and when to let things lie_

_Idk I’m just really grateful to know her_

**She sounds like who James is to me**

_Yeah, I guess she is_

**So any clue who you’ll go as this year?**

_We were thinking Gomez and Morticia Addams_

**...Right**

_You have no clue who they are, do you?_

**I assume some weird murdery couple?**

_Well it’s kinda hard to explain if you’ve never seen The Addams Family_

_But essentially they’re the parents from this TV show about a weird creepy family_

**Oh**

**I wasn’t allowed to watch TV as a kid**

_At all?_

**At all**

_That sounds kind of awful_

**It’s sort of like the phone thing though**

**I never had it so I’ve never really missed it**

**I’ll ask Evans about the Addams family thing though**

_Haha okay_

_Do you know what you’ll go as for your party?_

**Mm James Pete and I are thinking the three musketeers, complete with swords and all**

_This party is sounding less and less legal the more you describe it_

**Shhh Moony, we have to keep it sounding tame so Evans doesn’t shut us down**

_She would destroy her own boyfriend’s party?_

**If it could get us all in trouble? Probably**

_Mm_

_So_

_Do you think you can call tonight_

**Oh**

**Yes**

**Um I could probably do it right now if you’re free?**

_I’m free_

**Okay**

**Give me like 2 minutes to find some privacy**

* * *

*Incoming Call from: Posh Prick Padfoot*

4:13pm

_“Hullo?”_

**“Er hi”**

_“Padfoot?”_

**“Yeah. Blimey your voice is deep”**

_“Oh yeah, I hadn’t really thought about that”_

**“No seriously, do you do exercises to deepen it or something? If I sounded like that I don’t think I’d ever stop talking”**

_“From what I know of you, you don’t stop talking anyway”_

**“Touché”**

_“And you were absolutely lying when you said you weren’t posh. You sound like you could have tea with the Queen and fit right in”_

**“I never said I wasn’t posh, just that I’m less posh than I was before I came to Hogwarts”**

_“Christ, this isn’t you at your poshest? I think if you sounded any more posh than this I’d lose a few years off my life”_

**“Mm I shouldn’t tell you that I speak French, Japanese, and Italian then?”**

_“...”_

_“No you shouldn’t”_

**“Hm okay, I’ll keep that to myself”**

_“Oh no you don’t. Go on, let’s heard your stupid posh voice in a different language”_

**“Your wish is my command”**

_“Fuck I can hear the winky face through the phone”_

**“J'adore t'entendre dire le mot foutre”**

_“...shite”_

_“Why don’t you speak French all the time?”_

**“Si je savais que cela aurait cet effet je te parlerais en français tout le temps”**

_“And what does that mean?”_

**“Wouldn’t you like to know”**

_“Oi, that’s my phrase”_

**“So?”**

_“So don’t use it”_

**“Faîtes-moi.”**

_“Ugh the French is unfair, Padfoot”_

**“You having phrases only you can use is unfair”**

_“Gall dau chwarae yn y gêm hon rydych chi'n gwybod”_

**“Fuck.”**

**“What was that??”**

_“Welsh”_

**“You know Welsh? I thought you only lived in Wales for 2 years?”**

_“I was actually born and raised here but then… well we started moving a lot”_

_“We more moved_ **_back_ ** _here 2 years ago”_

**“Oh wow okay”**

**“So what did you say?”**

_“Oh no, you don’t get to say mystery phrases in French and then expect me to tell you what I said in Welsh”_

**“Remussssssss”**

_“Rwy'n hoffi clywed fy enw yn eich ceg. Hyd yn oed pan rydych chi'n swnian”_

_“Yn enwedig pan rydych chi'n swnian”_

**“Ta voix est si attirante, surtout en gallois”**

**“What are you doing to me Moony?”**

_“Same thing you’re doing with the French”_

_“Ti'n pryfocio”_

**“Ugh fine, no more French or Welsh for a little while, alright?”**

_“Whatever you say Padfoot”_

**“So what are you doing right now?”**

_“Are you seriously asking what-”_

**“** **_Besides_ ** **talking to me! What are you doing right now besides talking to me?”**

_“Mm well before you called I was reading, as I’m wont to do, so I’m sitting in the window seat in my room with Moby Dick in my lap”_

**“Moby’s what in your lap?”**

_“Oh shut it, it’s the title of a book you insufferable fool”_

**“Insufferable am I?”**

_“Yes.”_

_“What are you doing anyway?”_

**“I’m just sitting in bed on the phone with you”**

_“Mm”_

**“So what are you wearing?”**

_“I- what??”_

**“Shite, no! That’s not how I meant it!”**

_“Padfoot, you tart”_

**“No! Merl-Mercy! I just- stop laughing!”**

_“Don’t ask me what I’m wearing if you don’t want me to laugh at you!”_

**“Fuck you, I just wanted to get an idea of what you looked like right now!”**

_“Oh God Sirius, you’re going to give me abs”_

**“I did not come on this call just to get bullied”**

_“I didn’t come on this call just to listen to shitty pick up lines”_

**“It wasn’t a pick up line! Ugh, you’re worse than James”**

_“Aw I’m sorry Padfoot, it really was just too funny”_

**“Good to know you derive such pleasure from my utter embarrassment”**

_“It was endearing”_

**“Yeah yeah, laugh it up”**

_”Don’t pout”_

**”Whatever”**

**“Your laugh’s really nice by the way Moony”**

_“Your embarrassed yelling voice is really nice Padfoot”_

**“I hate you”**

_“Nah”_

**“Maybe I do”**

_“Then hang up”_

**“...”**

**“Fuck you Lupin”**

_“Right back at you Potter”_

**“Anyway. Are you going to answer the question?”**

_“Really Padfoot?”_

**“Don’t make it weird Moony”**

_“Hah okay”_

_“I’m just in one of my sweaters and jeans and socks. I assume you’re in your school uniform?”_

**“Yeah that’s what I’m- Oh fuck!”**

**“** _Pads?”_

**“Shite! I just remembered I’m supposed to be studying with Lily right now”**

_“Are you late?”_

**“I will be if I don’t go now”**

_“Good fucking luck, mate”_

**“I hate to go but she’ll hang me by my toes in the dungeon if I miss another one. Talk later?”**

_“Sure Padfoot”_

**“Okay, don’t have too much fun with Moby without me”**

_“Not at all what the book is about but okay”_

**“Bye Moony”**

_“Talk later Pads”_

* * *

*Call duration: 20 minutes*

4:33pm

_Sirius you’re late_

**Sorry I got caught up on a phone call**

_With who? You only know James and I’s numbers_

**Er**

**I’ve actually been texting a boy**

_A boy?_

**Yeah, I put James’ number in wrong when I first texted him and I’ve been talking to the wrong number for like a week now**

_Wow_

_And when you say talking you mean…?_

**Um yeah I think so**

**I mean, it’s like that for me, I don’t know if he feels the same way**

_Okay_

_Have you told James?_

**I told him that I’ve been talking to him, but you’re really the only one who knows about**

**The other thing**

_Oh_

_I thought James knew_

**Maybe he does**

**I’ve never told him**

_Hm_

_Do you want to talk about it?_

**I**

**I don’t know**

_Okay_

_Well if you ever do, I’m here_

**Thanks Evans**

**I’ll be at the library in a few**

_Alright, don’t forget your potions text_

**Got it**

* * *

8:51pm

_Padfoot_

**Moony**

_How was your study date_

**Terrible**

**After listening to you, Lily’s voice sounded even shriller than usual**

_You had better not mention that to her_

**It’s not my fault your voice is so nice. It nearly lulled me to sleep on our call**

_It was like 4pm_

**Didn’t you go to bed at 8 earlier this week?**

_Hush_

_Your voice is nice too, no matter how posh it is_

**You should like read to children or something**

**I can just imagine your tall arse stooping down to talk to children**

**It’s almost comical**

_I’m not that tall Padfoot_

_You’re just short_

**Oi! I am** **_not_ ** **short!**

_Someone’s a little defensive_

**I am not short, you are simply a giant**

_It’s okay, the height difference is actually quite cute_

**Oh**

**Thank you :)**

**I’ve always liked taller boys**

_Ah_

_Good to know_

**Yeah**

_Yeah_

**Um could we make that a nightly thing?**

**The calling?**

_Yeah I think that’d be nice_

**Okay sounds good**

**Wanna do questions?**

_Absolutely_

**Okay, do you want to ask one this time?**

_Oh sure_

_Er_

_Okay, just tell me something you’ve never told anybody_

**Huh**

**Like nobody nobody?**

_Yep_

_A 100% fully kept secret_

**Uh ok I’ll really have to think for this one**

_Take your time_

**I**

**I think that I don’t really hate my parents**

_Yeah?_

**Yeah**

**Like they’re awful, and they’ve done so many just truly terrible things to me and brother that I** **_want_ ** **to be able to say I hate them and would never talk to them again**

**But honestly?**

**If my mother showed up today and told me she loved me**

**I don’t know that’d I be able to turn her down**

**I don’t know that I have it in me**

**And I hate that**

**I hate it so fucking much that they have that hold over me**

_I don’t want to overstep but_

_I don’t think they have a hold over you at all_

**Yeah?**

_Yeah_

_If they’re really as terrible as you say, I think the fact that you got out without losing your ability to love or relate the others_

_I think it speaks a lot to your character. I think it makes you strong_

**It feels like a weakness**

_Just because they would call you weak for it doesn’t mean you are_

**Fuck**

**Okay**

**Yeah**

**Thanks Moony**

_Any time Pads_

**What about you then? I don’t want to be the only one spilling my guts here**

_Okay_

_I’m_

_I guess mine would be I really hate my Da_

**Your father?**

_Yeah_

_It’s_

_It’s not like he’s awful or anything_

_There’s just some stuff in our past that I resent him for and I assume he resents me for it too based on how he acts_

_I dunno I just feel like my life would be a lot easier if he just fucked of already_

_I know he’s only here for my Mum, so we really just tolerate each other for her benefit_

_But I really hate him_

_I don’t think I should but I do_

**I understand**

**And if you hate him, there must be a good reason. You don’t seem the hating type, Moony**

_I’m not_

_Thank you for saying that_

_I feel like I’m crazy sometimes, for hating him_

**If there’s one thing I know, it’s that some people deserve to be hated**

_Hah, that’s the truth_

**Would you like to call?**

_I actually think I’m going to go read_

_I’m sorry, I don’t mean to run off but… it’s a bit of a heavy subject and I just need a little time to calm down_

**I understand Moony**

**I’ll talk to you tomorrow? You’ll have me all day since I’ve no classes**

_Yeah, definitely_

_Thanks for understanding Pads, you’re really sweet_

**You are too**

**Goodnight Remus**

_Goodnight Sirius_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius/French:  
> J'adore t'entendre dire le mot foutre  
> = I love to hear you say the word fuck  
> Si je savais que cela aurait cet effet je te parlerais en français tout le temps  
> = If I knew it would have this effect I would speak to you in French all the time  
> Faîtes-moi  
> = Make me  
> Ta voix est si attirante, surtout en gallois  
> = Your voice is so attractive, especially in Welsh
> 
> Remus/Welsh:  
> Gall dau chwarae yn y gêm hon rydych chi'n gwybod  
> = Two can play in this game you know  
> Rwy'n hoffi clywed fy enw yn eich ceg. Hyd yn oed pan rydych chi'n swnian  
> = I like to hear my name in your mouth. Even when you're whingeing  
> Yn enwedig pan rydych chi'n swnian  
> = Especially when you're whingeing  
> Ti'n pryfocio  
> = You tease
> 
> As always, pretty please comment anything you have to say about this story! <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s a lot of cursing in this one, but the end is also very exciting imo. Have fun!

Saturday, October 30th

10:07am

_Am I awake before you? This must be a miracle_

_Sleep tight, Pads_

* * *

12:12pm

**Ergh**

_Good morning sleepy head_

_Did you have a nice lie in?_

**No**

**Prongs jumped on my bed three times because I’m “wasting the day”**

_Early bird gets the word, Pads_

**Why would I want a worm**

**Worms are pathetic and useless and tiny**

_Mm, kinda like you when you laze around, hm?_

**Rude and uncalled for, Moony**

_Sorry Pads_

_Are you just about ready for your Halloween party tomorrow night?_

**Yes! We’ve also got quite the prank ready for the feast just before**

_Aren’t you risking not attending your own party if you get caught?_

**It’s Halloween, Moony! You expect to get tricked**

**Besides, the professors know what to expect of us on Halloween after so many years**

_Made quite a reputation for yourselves, have you?_

**Yes**

**We even have a name**

_Ooh, the plot thickens_

_Did you name yourselves or was this name bequeathed unto you?_

**I love when you use big words Moony**

**We chose the name ourselves, but we were called it before we started using it**

_Well? I’m waiting on tenterhooks_

**Tenterhooks?**

_I thought you liked when I use big words_

_**You know I do** _

_Well, what do you call yourselves?_

**We’re The Marauders**

_Mm that’s actually quite a cool name_

**Right?? We’re proud of it**

_Mm_

_Alice’s coming over at 1 so we can try on our costumes for tomorrow_

**Are you going to a party or something?**

_Yeah, her boyfriend hosts a party every year_

_It took quite a bit of convincing for me to agree to go_

**Did you not go last year? As Bonnie and Clyde**

_Mm no, I was actually at the hospital last year so we did their costume contest_

**Wow they had a costume contest? That’s cool**

_Yeah it was actually kind of fun_

_But now I’m expected to socialize and be an actual person_

_It’s going to be exhausting_

**You’ll tell me all about it, won’t you?**

_Of course, if you’ll tell me about your party_

**Obviously**

**It’ll kinda be boring without you, though**

**Will you be able to text during your party?**

_Of course I’ll be texting you during it_

_Who else am I going to make fun of people’s costumes with?_

**Hm, I suppose my input on this subject** **_is_ ** **quite important**

_Indeed_

_So you James and Pete have your costumes sorted?_

**Yeah, everything except for the swords, but we’re just going to tra**

**Trade with the Ravenclaws for them**

_Ravenclaws just have swords laying around?_

**Er yes**

**We** **_do_ ** **live in a castle**

_Of course your boarding school is in a castle_

_Posh boy_

**Welsh idiot**

_O leiaf rwy'n gwybod sut i weithio ffôn_

**Again with the Welsh**

_You love it_

**J'adorerais si tu te tais**

_I’m gonna Google translate that_

**You’re what?**

_You said “I’d love if you shut up”_

**What the fuck**

**Unfair**

**How did you do that**

_Your absolute ineptitude with technology is a constant source of joy for me_

**:(**

_I just googled “French to english” then copied what you said and it translated it for me_

**What the bloody fuck is a Google**

_Padfoot I honestly wish I could help you, but I don’t think I can explain properly if you don’t even know what Google is_

**Ugh whatever, I don’t need you stupid technology**

_Whatever helps you sleep at night_

**Earlier you said “at least I know how to work a phone” which, rude**

_What_

_I thought you didn’t even know what “a Google” was_

**I didn’t use your precious Google**

_Then what did you use_

**It’s a secret**

_Bastard_

**;)**

_Whatever_

_Wanna call?_

**Yes please**

* * *

*Incoming Call from: Remoony*

12:36pm

**“Hiya Moony”**

_”Hullo Pads”_

_“You still sound sleepy”_

**“Mmm I wouldn’t be so tired if I hadn’t been woken up three separate times before getting up”**

_“I don’t doubt you’ll have your revenge on James”_

**“Hah, you’re completely right”**

**“What d’you think, itching powder in his sheets?”**

_“Seems like a fair trade”_

**“Y’know, I bet if I spoke French right now, your stupid Google wouldn’t be able to translate it”**

_“Yeah, I suppose you’re right”_

_“...Why don’t you test it?”_

**“You just want to hear me speak French”**

_“Is that so wrong?”_

**“No”**

**“T'entendre parler gallois me rend fou aussi”**

_“Mm”_

**“Has your voice always been that low Moony?”**

_“Er yeah I guess”_

_“I mean, not before puberty but it’s been like this the past few years”_

**“Hm”**

**“It’s nice to listen to”**

_“Thanks. Your sleepy voice is nice too Pads”_

**“Hah, I should call you early in the morning or late at night more often then?”**

_“Well I wouldn’t call 12:45 in the afternoon early, but yes definitely”_

**“You’re talking as if you don’t sleep until 10 everyday”**

_“I need my beauty rest Pads”_

**“I’m so sure”**

**“If you had to be up at 6 on weekdays, I bet you’d sleep in late on the weekends too”**

_“Hm I guess that’s true. Although I’m ill, so I say I get a pass”_

**“Oh”**

**“You’re ill?”**

_“...”_

**“You don’t have to answer”**

_“No, it’s fine”_

_“I… yeah I am.”_

_“Um, it’s really only for like a week or so every month though”_

**“Okay. Do you want to talk about it?”**

_“Um, not really?”_

_“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up”_

**“No, no, it’s not your fault, I shouldn’t have asked”**

_“I’m- it’s really not as serious as all that. I’m really fine most of the time, it’s-“_

**“Moony. You really don’t have to talk about it”**

_“I… okay. Thank you Padfoot”_

**“Of course”**

_“Er, were you going to tell me anything else about what Halloween is like at Hogwarts? It seems like you have a tradition of some sort going”_

**“Oh, yes!”**

**“Ok so, basically, we play a prank on Halloween night as like the ‘trick’ part of Halloween”**

**“This year though, since it’s our last, we’re going to play a fake prank and then once everyone thinks everything’s fine and we’re done, we’re going to play our biggest one yet”**

**“It’s gonna be fucking mental, Remus”**

_“Wow. The Marauders don’t mess around, do they?”_

**“Nope!”**

_“So, how exactly do you play a ‘fake’ prank?”_

**“Well, it’s gonna be real but it won’t be all that interesting.”**

**“The plan right now is to just ch- er, change all the decorations to Gryffindor colors and set off a few fireworks in the great hall”**

_“Setting off fireworks indoors is a ‘not all that interesting’ prank?”_

**“Oh yeah, we’ve done that loads of times”**

_“You’ve blown up fireworks within your school loads of times… You never cease to amaze me, Sirius”_

**“I’m choosing to take that as a compliment”**

_“It was”_

**“I don’t see what the big deal is”**

_“The big deal?”_

_“The big deal is that you’re creating controlled explosions inside your school and this is just a normal occurrence for you”_

**“Hah, did you know that your Welsh accent comes out when you’re laughing, Moony?”**

_“Oh, it does, does it?”_

**“Yep”**

_“Well, sometimes when you’re cursing, I can hear a French lilt”_

**“Really??”**

**“That must be because I grew up learning French alongside English and my tutors would hit my knuckles if I cursed, so I learned to do it in French”**

_“Fuck your tutors, I like hearing you curse”_

**“Hah, yeah?”**

_“Yeah.”_

**“Well I like just hearing you talk in general. I’ve always had a thing for deep voices”**

_“Oh.”_

_“You have?”_

**“Er”**

**“Yeah, I have”**

_“I’ve always had a thing for posh accents”_

**“Oh?”**

_“Yeah.”_

**“Okay”**

_“Okay”_

**“...”**

_“...”_

**“Um Moony?”**

_“Yeah Pads?”_

**“Are we-”**

* * *

*Incoming Call from: Arsehole Alice*

* * *

12:58pm

_“Oh, um Alice’s calling me, I assume to let me know she’s almost here”_

_“Er, I kinda have to let her in if she’s here”_

**“Yeah, okay”**

_“Er, we’ll talk in a bit?”_

**“Yeah, I’ll talk to you later”**

_“Okay.”_

_“Padfoot I-”_

* * *

*Incoming Call from: Arsehole Alice*

* * *

12:59pm

_“Yeah okay I have to go”_

**“Bye Moons”**

_“Bye Padfoot”_

*Call duration: 24 minutes*

* * *

1:00pm

_“What, Alice?”_

**“Oi, what’s with the voice? I’m the one you’ve locked out in the cold”**

_“Fuck I’m sorry, I was just on a call with Sirius”_

**“Ah, and how is lover boy?”**

_“Don’t call him that”_

_“And I thought… Well I thought it was going somewhere, but then you called and… Whatever, it doesn’t matter now”_

**“Shite, did I interrupt something? You could always call him back”**

_“No, it’s fine, the moment passed”_

**“Whatever you say”**

_“Yeah.”_

**“Remus?”**

_“Yeah Alice?”_

**“I’m freezing my tits off out here”**

_“Fuck, sorry, I’ll be right there”_

**“You’d better”**

*Call duration: 4 minutes*

* * *

6:15pm

**Moony!**

_Padfoot!_

**Fantastic news**

**The wi**

**Woman who runs the bar we got our alcohol from knows one of the Ravenclaws in our year, so she’s hooking us up with double what we asked for**

_Wow_

_This is really going to be a party that goes down in Hogwarts history, huh?_

**Absolutely it is**

**Merlin, after this party** **_and_ ** **the prank, we’re going to be legends**

_I_

_Wait, Sirius?_

**Yeah Moons?**

_Did you mean to say Merlin_

**Oh**

**What**

**No**

**No, I meant to say mercy**

_I_

_I don’t think I believe you_

**What?**

_Sirius_

**Moony?**

_Are you a wizard?_

**I**

**Remus?**

* * *

*Incoming Call from: Remoony*

6:19pm

**“Moony wha-”**

_“Holy fuck, you’re a wizard aren’t you?”_

**“I- I don’t understand the question”**

_“Circe, all the weird cut off words make sense now!”_

**“C-Circe?”**

_“And how dense you are about technology? I should’ve bloody well known!”_

**“Wait, wait Moony slow down, I-”**

_“And who the fuck uses ‘Mercy’ as a curse?? Of course you were meant to be saying Merlin!”_

**“Remus, you aren’t saying that-”**

_“God, what about you saying you’ve never heard of The Addams Family? Or Google, of all things! I can’t believe I’ve been so blo-”_

**“MOONY!”**

_“What, Padfoot?”_

**“Are you saying that you-”**

_“Yep”_

**“This entire time you’ve-”**

_“Yes, Padfoot”_

**“...”**

**“Merlin’s saggy tits, you’re a wizard too?!”**

_“And he gets it!”_

**“Shut your stupid, sarcastic mouth, this is the best thing to ever happen to me!”**

_“Aw shucks, you really think so?”_

**“Sass is not appreciated in this moment!”**

**“Bloody buggering fuck, this changes so much”**

_“Fuck, this is so cool Padfoot”_

**“Wait, wait!”**

**“Why didn’t you say anything when I said I went to Hogwarts??”**

_“Son of a bludger, Hogwarts is a wizarding school?”_

**“What, have you been living under a rock?! It’s, like, famous!”**

_“Well you obviously thought a muggle wouldn’t recognize it!”_

**“Well you’re** **_not a bloody fucking muggle, are you??_ ** **”**

_“I’m- I-”_

**“Humping Hippogriffs, all this time I spent making up stupid excuses for things I’ve almost said!”**

_“Wait, what? Like when?”_

**“Like, like, I dunno!”**

**“Like when I said I’d trade the Ravenclaws for swords? What the fuck does that even mean?!”**

_“O-Oh my God, I didn’t even question it?!”_

**“Stop laughing, this is all your fault! I was covering for almost saying I transfigured some needles into swords!”**

_“Holy shite, stop Padfoot this is too much!”_

**“And when I said I’d never had a phone and you assumed I had a landline?”**

_“Fucking hell Siri-!”_

**“Moony, what the bloody fuck is a landline?! Do you know how often I had to bother Evans about the shit you’ve said??”**

_“I’ll assume she’s muggleborn?”_

**“Yes, you dense fool! She’s a muggleborn and I’m a wizard and** **_you’re_ ** **a bloody fucking wizard and-”**

_“So when you translated my Welsh earlier?”_

**“It was a spell”**

_”And when you set off fireworks in the great hall?”_

**”They’re from Zonko’s. Completely harmless”**

_“Shite.”_

**“Idiot. Clueless, blind, dens-”**

_“Oi! In my defense-”_

**“In your defense?! All this time we could’ve-”**

_“In my bloody defense, Padfoot you stubborn prick, I haven’t been in wizarding society in well over 11 years!”_

**“And you-! Wait what?”**

_“Yeah.”_

**“Wait, why?”**

_“It’s- it has to do with the hospital visits.”_

**“Okay...”**

_“That’s...”_

_“That’s all I really want to say.”_

**“I... Okay”**

**“Okay, I respect that Moony.”**

_“Thank you.”_

**“Um, so do you still use magic and stuff?”**

_“Oh yeah, absolutely”_

_“I just”_

_“Well I used to go to a muggle school, and we don’t really interact with that many wizards”_

**“Hm**

**“Am I an exception?”**

_“Yeah, you’re definitely one now”_

**“Okay”**

**“Wow”**

**“I could… I could apparate to you at like any time”**

_“...I suppose you could”_

**“N-not now, but...”**

**“But we could. Sometime.”**

_“Yeah. Sometime.”_

**“Okay.”**

_“Okay.”_

**“This is fucking surreal, Moons”**

_“I know”_

**“I never thought”**

**“I mean, I thought there were going to be things I always had to hide from you”**

_“I know what you mean”_

**“This is so bloody cool!”**

**“Merlin, Circe, centaur, bogart, werewolf, unicorn, charm, transfigure, engor-!”**

_“Okay, okay Padfoot! You don’t have to say every magical word you know!”_

**“But I** **_can!_ ** **I can say all the magic words I want!”**

_“Listen Pads, I know this is crazy and wonderful and I wish I could talk to you forever, but I really have to go help my Mum with the washing up”_

**“Really? You’ve never had to do that before”**

**“Not that I don’t believe you, I just”**

**“You’re not running off again, are you?”**

_“No! I’m not”_

_“It’s just, my Da gets home tomorrow and I want to make sure everything’s done before he gets home”_

**“Oh, alright”**

**“If we’re stopping now, I probably won’t be able to talk until morning because Prongs Pete and I are putting finishing touches on our ultimate prank”**

_“That’s the name now? Ultimate Prank?”_

**“Hah, it wasn’t before but now it probably is”**

_“Haha, okay Pads”_

_“I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”_

**“Yeah, of course”**

_“Alright”_

_“Goodnight Padfoot”_

**“Goodnight Moony”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius/French:  
> T'entendre parler gallois me rend fou aussi  
> = Hearing you speak Welsh drives me crazy too
> 
> I live in Virginia (a state in the US) and the amount of trouble I’ve had not saying y’all... it’s honestly sad
> 
> Anyway  
> Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, comment. I love to read anything you have to say and I’m 100% open to constructive criticism! Love you all xo


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: mentions of domestic verbal abuse (nothing in detail or graphic)  
> This chapter was a doozy to write, I had a lot to get through. As always, translations are in the notes at the end. Enjoy!

Sunday, October 31st

8:45am

**Moony**

**Moony**

**Moonface**

**Mooniekinz**

**MOONY**

* * *

*Incoming Call from: Posh Prat Padfoot*

8:46am

_ “Mnfh wha?” _

**“Hullo Moony!”**

_ “Oh fuck no” _

*Call duration: less than 1 minute*

* * *

8:47am

**Moony :(**

_ Padfoot why _

**Weren’t you just bugging me about my lie in yesterday?**

**And it’s ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔHALLOWEENʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ**

_ Padfoot, with all due respect, if you wake me up again I am going to come to your school and hex your ears off _

**That’s not scary, Prongs has done that to me twice**

**And are you saying you want to meet me?**

**Hullo?**

**:(**

* * *

10:10am

_ See now, this is a much more appropriate hour to be texting _

* * *

*Incoming Call from: Posh Prat Padfoot*

10:10am

_ “Hullo you git” _

**“Moony! Your voice is extra deep!”**

_ “It  _ **_is_ ** _ ten in the morning” _

**“Mm it’s very nice though”**

_ “I want to say that it was nice to hear your loud arse at 8am, but it was not” _

**“First of all, hurtful. And second of all, I called you at 15 til 9 so”**

_ “8:45 still has and 8 in it so shut up” _

**“Grumpy”**

_ “Maniac” _

**“You love it”**

_ “Mm” _

_ “Aren’t you supposed to be doing Ultimate Prank related things?” _

**“Don’t be foolish Moony”**

_ “Okay?” _

**“We don’t have anything to do today”**

**“That’s why I was gone so long yesterday, we were getting it all done so we could laze about today”**

_ “How pragmatic of you” _

**“See, that was a compliment but you made it sound like an insult”**

_ “Perhaps I’m in a mood because a certain prat was yelling in my ear at a ridiculous hour this morning” _

**“You are simply no fun in the mornings”**

_ “Mm it’s okay, I don’t mind you being loud if it’s not so early” _

**“Really?”**

_ “Yeah of course” _

_ “I love hearing from you Pads” _

**“Thanks”**

**“Um Remus?”**

_ “Yes Sirius?” _

**“Er, you know how you said you get overwhelmed sometimes and need a bit of space?”**

_ “Yeah?” _

**“I’ve been feeling a bit of that today. Do you have any tips?”**

_ “Oh” _

_ “Well I’m a nerd so I like to read” _

**“Big surprise there”**

_ “Shush, Padfoot” _

_ “Anyway, really anything to take my mind off the situation at hand works” _

_ “Do you… Would you like to talk about it?” _

**“I’m… I don’t know”**

_ “Okay” _

**“I’m- it’s just… ugh, I don’t know. I don’t even know how to put it into words even if I wanted to”**

_ “I know how you feel Padfoot, honest” _

_ “You could… sometimes I switch to Welsh if I can’t get my thoughts in order” _

**“Really?”**

_ “Yeah, and it helps focus what I want to say” _

_ “I dunno though, that’s just what works for me” _

**“Would you mind if I tried? Like stayed on the call with you and talked a bit in French?”**

_ “You know I’d never say no to you Pads” _

_ “Especially if you’re offering to speak French to me” _

**“Hah okay”**

**“Um”**

**”Ok, here goes”**

**“C'est juste que ... chaque fois qu'il y a un grand événement comme Halloween, ça me fait sentir”**

**“Je ne sais pas, encore plus seul que d'habitude? Bien sûr, il y a James et Pete et ... vous-même”**

**“Mais”**

**“Honnêtement, je pense que mon petit frère me manque”**

**“Beaucoup”**

**“That’s all, I guess”**

_ “Do you feel any better?” _

**“Yeah, I think so”**

**“Um I think I’m gonna go talk to Regulus”**

_ “Regulus?” _

**“He’s my little brother”**

**“We… don’t really get along”**

**“He still lives at home.”**

_ “Oh” _

_ “Alright, I hope you feel better and I hope Regulus and you can… I dunno, talk? _

**“Yeah, that is kind of a lot to ask for with us”**

**“I’ll speak to you in a bit?”**

_ “Of course” _

**“Ttyl Remus”**

_ “Ttyl Sirius” _

*Call duration: 12 minutes*

* * *

10:48am

Why does the map say you’re in the dungeons

**Shove off Prongs**

Are you going to do something that will ruin Halloween?

**No, Merlin, just leave me be**

I’m just concerned, Sirius

**I don’t need your stupid concern, so leave off**

Fine, just don’t get yourself blown up

**Don’t tell me what to do**

You’re really arguing with me about whether or not you should blow yourself up?

**Whatever**

* * *

11:09am

**I talked to Regulus**

_ Yeah? How’d it go? _

**It**

**Was kind of awful**

_ I’m really sorry Pads _

**No but**

**I think he’s open to talking to me more**

**And I’m open to being less of a dick to him**

**So**

**I dunno maybe it’ll lead to something good**

**I dunno**

_ Taking the first step is really hard _

_ I’m proud of you _

**Thanks Moony**

_ Anytime Padfoot _

_ Are you okay? _

**I’m just kind of sitting on the floor in an alcove on the third floor**

_ Nothing wrong with that as long as you’re safe _

**Yeah**

**Okay, fuck it. No more sad shite!**

**Moony, it’s** **_Halloween_ **

**WHY are we moping on** **_Halloween??_ **

_ Fuck you’re right Pads _

_ Alice and I are going to look so fucking good as Gomez and Morticia _

**Ooh, I made Lils show me pictures of them**

**Even though the ones on this phone don’t move, I think you guys will look so cool**

_ Thank you _

_ Alice found this cool charm that will turn her hair black for 24 hours _

**Oh, Alice is a witch too?**

_ Yep _

_ Do you know Florean Fortesque’s Ice Cream Parlor? _

**In Diagon Alley? Of course I do**

_ She’s Florean’s niece _

**Really?? That’s so cool!**

**Also, who’s giving out their friends’ full names to random blokes on the internet now?**

_ Whatever, she’s bound to take Frank’s last name anytime now so it won’t matter _

**They’ve been dating a long time?**

_ Yeah _

_ They dated all through school and now they’re here _

**That’s so cute**

_ Yep _

_ I know you James and Peter are going as the three musketeers, but what about Lily? _

**Much to James’ chagrin she’s doing Halloween costumes with her friend group**

**Last I heard they’re going as some muggle cartoon fairies?**

_ Like from a TV show? _

**I guess? Although I dunno why they’d want to be fairies, they can be an awful nuisance**

**Oh wait, I suppose that fits that group perfectly well**

_ What’s so awful about Lily’s friend group? _

**Ugh, they’re all gossiping harpies**

**And they’re obsessed with me, Merlin knows why**

_ Obsessed with you? Quite the womanizer, are you? _

**I think we both know I’m the farthest thing from a womanizer**

_ Hah _

_ So birds think your name is cool and Lily’s entire friend group is in love with you? _

**Except for Lily, of course**

_ Ugh Padfoot _

**Moony?**

_ You’re hot aren’t you? _

**I’m**

**I dunno, I’m not like drop dead gorgeous or anything**

_ Oh God, that’s what someone drop dead gorgeous would say _

**Shut up**

_ You’re not even denying it anymore _

_ I’m going to have to change your name in my phone _

**Wait, what’s my name in your phone?**

_ Posh Prat Padfoot _

**Rude**

**So what’s it going to be now?**

_ Pretty Posh Prat Padfoot _

**That is terrible**

**I am in protest of that name**

_ Your protest is noted and duly ignored _

**Hurtful**

**I need a better name for you then**

**Or one you’ll hate more**

_ What is it now? _

**Remoony**

_ That’s cute though _

**Yeah but you like it**

**I need one you’ll hate as much as I hate yours for me**

_ That’s petty, Padfoot _

**Yeah well**

_ Now I’m tempted to add petty to your name _

**You wouldn’t dare**

_ You can’t stop me _

**:(**

_ I bet you’re even pretty when you pout _

**Why are you so obsessed with how attractive I am**

_ The same reason you asked what I look like and what I’m wearing. I want to be able to have a picture of you in my head _

**No no no, you cannot turn you bullying me into something sweet**

**I forbid it**

_ Oh you forbid it, do you? _

**Yes, consider it forbidden**

_ So it’s still forbidden even if I say that I like knowing you have all these birds after you and I’m still the first and last person you talk to everyday? _

**…**

**Low blow, Moony**

**You don’t play fair**

_ Mm I never claimed to _

**I’m still changing your name, though**

**How about Moony the Mistake?**

_ Yep, definitely adding petty to your name _

**Malicious Moony, maybe?**

_ Pretty Petty Posh Prat Padfoot is a bit of a mouth full though  _

**Miserable Mister Moony perhaps**

_ I think I’ll make it just Petty Posh Prat _

**I’m no longer pretty?**

_ So you do have an ego _

**It’s not an ego**

**Maybe I just want you to think I’m pretty**

_ Then I’ll put it as Prettiest Posh Prat _

**Prettiest?**

_ Yeah _

**I’ll remind you that you have never actually seen me**

_ I don’t have to know what you look like to find you pretty _

**Oh**

**Well**

**Ok then**

_ Mhm _

_ Christ I love fall weather _

**Are you outside, Moony?**

_ Yeah I’m on our back porch _

**Describe it for me? It’s kind of dreary here**

_ Do you want me to call and tell you about it? _

**Yes of course**

* * *

*Incoming Call from: My Moony*

11:21am

**“Hiya Moony Moons”**

_ “Hullo Pads” _

**“So what’s it like in Wales right now? It’s all grey here”**

_ “Mm, it’s really nice” _

_ “It’s windy right now and there’s a bunch of leaves getting blown off trees so they’re twirling in the air. And it smells like fall” _

**“Smells like fall?”**

_ “Yeah, like all crisp and fresh and bright” _

**“That’s a really nice way to describe it”**

_ “Mhm. I’m all cuddled up in one of my biggest sweaters and it’s just chilly enough outside that I’m not hot in it” _

**“I love your sweaters Moony”**

_ “You’ve never seen my sweaters Padfoot” _

**“I don’t have to know what your sweaters look like to love them”**

_ “Using my own argument against me, are you?” _

**“Not against you, just to express that I do in fact love your sweaters quite a bit”**

_ “You’re sweet” _

**“** **_You’re_ ** **sweet, calling me pretty and all”**

_ “Be honest Padfoot,  _ **_are_ ** _ you pretty?” _

**“Ugh it’s not like that”**

_ “But it’s like something” _

**“I’m… conventionally attractive”**

_ “I knew it!” _

**“Yeah, yeah you were right”**

_ “Pretty boy” _

**“Whatever, it makes girls really bloody annoying to talk to”**

_ “Really? What’s the most ridiculous thing a girl has said while trying to flirt with you?” _

**“Oh, that is a fantastic question. There are so many options to choose from”**

_ “Give me some of the most memorable ones” _

**“Mm there was the time a girl said she would probably be able to cut her hand on my jawline, and then, like, pet my face? That was bloody awkward”**

_ “Hah, so you’ve got a strong jawline, good to know” _

**“Be quiet, you. There was also the girl who just came and sat on my lap”**

_ “Really? Without saying anything?” _

**“Yep. I didn’t even know her name. Turned out she was trying to make her boyfriend jealous”**

_ “Did it work” _

**“Fuck if I know, Moons. I just pushed her off me and told her to try and stick on some other bloke”**

_ “Poor Padfoot, having girls accost you left and right” _

**“You joke, but it gets old quick”**

_ “It probably wouldn’t get old if you weren’t queer” _

**“I’m- that’s… yeah, I suppose you’re right”**

_ “Alright there Padfoot?” _

**“Yeah, I’m just not used to thinking of myself as queer. I mean, I am, obviously, I’ve just never heard it said out loud”**

_ “Oh” _

_ “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable Pads” _

**“No, no, you did nothing wrong. I probably should say that… that I’m queer”**

**“Because I am. I’m gay. Like really fucking gay”**

_ “Me too Padfoot” _

**“Yeah”**

**“Um, anyway, what time’s your party tonight?”**

_ “It starts at 8 I think, but Alice’s coming to pick me up at 7:30” _

**“Are you apparating there together?”**

_ “Haha, no Pads, most of the people at the party are Muggles. We’ll be driving” _

**“Oh, wow, like in a car?”**

_ “Yes. We drive in cars all the time” _

**“Really?? Doesn’t that seem a little, I dunno, dangerous?”**

_ “Cars aren’t dangerous if you drive them correctly Siri” _

**“Whatever you say. I’ll leave driving the muggle death machine to you while I apparate”**

_ “And where will you be apparating to? It doesn’t even work in Hogwarts” _

**“How would you know, Mr. I Didn’t Know Hogwarts Was A Wizarding School?”**

_ “Oh, I bought Hogwarts: A History after you told me you were a wizard” _

**“Aw Moony, you really do care”**

_ “Hush” _

_ “What time’s your party?” _

**“It’s at 8:30”**

**“We’ll pull the fake prank during dinner and the Ultimate Prank will be set off when the party’s in full swing, with dozens of witnesses to say we were nowhere near it when it happened”**

_ “Padfoot you evil genius you” _

**“Mm practice makes perfect and we’ve been practicing for 6 years”**

_ “Well I would hope that this- oh, shite” _

**“Moony?”**

_ “One second Pads I just have to- oh okay yeah” _

_ “Er, I have to go, my Da just pulled up _

**“Oh ok”**

_ “Fuck” _

**“Are you… Will you be alright?”**

_ “Yeah I’m- I’ll be fine. I just have to go.” _

**“Okay”**

_ “I’m sorry Pads, I wanted to be able to spend today with you but- fuck, I really have to go” _

**“Don’t worry about me Moons, I’ll talk to you tonight”**

_ “Yeah, yeah okay. I’ll call you back when I can” _

**“Bye Moons”**

_ “Bye Pads” _

*Call duration: 33 minutes*

* * *

12:17pm

**I’m sorry about earlier Jamie**

It’s okay Padfoot

Do you want to talk about it now?

**I went to talk to Regulus**

So that’s why you were in such a strop

**Yeah**

Well? Why’d you go? And what’d you say

**I apologized for how shit I’ve been the past few years**

**And said that just because he’s still there and I left doesn’t mean he’s any less of my brother**

And what’d he say?

**To shove it up my arse**

Typical

Did you hex him

**No**

**But when I asked him if we could talk tomorrow he said he’ll “take it into consideration”**

Same old Reg, then

**Yeah**

That’s progress though, if you two didn’t curse each other

**Yeah**

Do you want to come back to the dorm and we can lay down for a bit?

**I thought Lily was coming up**

She can come later

Come on Siri, you’re always begging for cuddles. Just come up

**Ok**

**I’m gonna charm the suits of armor on the fourth floor first**

Don’t get caught

**When do I ever**

* * *

1:51pm

**I know you’re preoccupied so don’t worry about responding but I just wanted to say I understand how terrible dealing with family can be, so if you ever need to talk about it I’ll always be here to listen**

**That’s all, I hope your day is going okay**

* * *

3:48pm

_ Alice I don’t think I can come tonight _

**The fuck?? Why not**

_ Lyall just got back. _

**Oh bugger**

**What was it this time?**

_ I didn’t have the door locked and warded when he got home _

_ Apparently if I can’t be trusted to protect my Mum I can’t be trusted to go out alone _

**What kind of fucking bullshite is that? Did he** **_want_ ** **you to lock him out in the cold??**

_ He said I’m always putting her in danger _

**Oh**

**Oh the fucking bastard**

_ Yeah _

**Blimey, I’m sorry love**

**I could still sneak you out? He doesn’t have to know shite**

_ No I’m _

_ I don’t want to upset Mum more than I already have _

**_You_ ** **didn’t upset her, Lyall did with his stupid fucking grudge**

_ It doesn’t matter _

_ I’m going to go lay down _

**Please stay safe Remus**

_ I will Alice _

_ Love you _

**I love you too**

* * *

4:15pm

**I asked Lily more about her costume and she said they’re from the “Winks Club”? And she’s gonna be Bloom apparently**

**Hope you’re doing alright**

* * *

*Incoming Call from: My Moony*

5:30pm

**“Remus?”**

_ “H-Hi Sirius” _

**“Hey w- are you crying??”**

_ “I’m- it’s- um” _

**“I’m sorry, that’s a stupid question”**

**“Are you alright?”**

_ “I dun-dunno” _

**“Okay, hey, take your time. What happened?”**

_ “Ugh fuck” _

_ “My Da and M-Mum got in this huge fucking row because he told me I couldn’t go out tonight” _

**“What? You’re of age, aren’t you?”**

_ “I’m- Muggles aren’t of age until 18” _

**“Oh”**

**“Why… why are you crying?”**

_ “Ugh fuck I’m sorry” _

**“No, Merlin, don’t apologize! I just mean, what happened? Are you okay?”**

_ “Er, a lot happened” _

_ “He kept yell-yelling and saying that I’m supposed to be protecting my Mum and I’m always putting her in a danger, which is a  _ **_low fucking blow_ ** _ because he knows- and, fuck and she started yelling back about how he’s so full of r-resentment for no reason and- oh fuck” _

**“Just breathe, Moons. Take your time”**

_ “God I’m so sorry I’m breaking down like this” _

**“Don’t, please, you never have to apologize to me Remus”**

_ “I’m- it’s just-“ _

_ “She kicked him out.” _

**“Wait, what?**

**“Your Mum kicked your Dad out??”**

_ “Y-yeah” _

_ “Like. How fucking mental is that?? I didn’t know she had-had it in her” _

**“Well fuck”**

**“Is it… that’s good, isn’t it?”**

_ “I don’t… I don’t  _ **_know_ ** _ Sirius” _

**“Okay, hey, you just need to some time to process”**

_ “Yeah I… Yeah I guess” _

**“You don’t sound… Are you hurt?”**

_ “He-he threw some shite before my Mum tossed him but I’m… I’m fine.” _

**“Merlin‘s beard, I’m so sorry Moony”**

_ “It’s okay” _

_ “I was doing pretty fucking shite earlier, but now- Christ now… god I dunno, I’m still doing pretty shite” _

**“I understand, that’s a fucking lot to go through”**

_ “Yeah I… I’m sorry, I just wanted to call because I said I would but I- fuck I can’t do this right now” _

**“It’s okay Remus, don’t worry about me. Go lose yourself in Moby’s dick, yeah?”**

_ “Oh, oh Christ that was a terrible joke” _

_ “God, how do you always manage to make me laugh, Padfoot?” _

**“Don’t tell the Ministry I told you this, but it’s magic”**

_ “Oh shut up you dork” _

_ “...fuck I’m tired” _

**“I’m serious M-”**

_ “I know, and I’m Remus” _

**“You- stop that, you absolute dork”**

_ “Don’t steal my word” _

**“Moony. Really.”**

**“Go and take some time for yourself, I’ll be here when you come back, I promise”**

_ “I’m… Thank you, Sirius.” _

**“Anything for you, Mooniekinz”**

_ “I… I’m really grateful I know you” _

**“I’m grateful to know you too”**

**“Now go rest”**

_ “Yeah” _

_ “I’ll talk to you later Padfoot” _

**“I’ll talk to you later Moony”**

*Call duration: 12 minutes*

* * *

5:53pm

_ Well I can come now _

**He changed his mind? That’s not like him**

_ Not exactly _

_ She tossed him out _

**She** **_what??_ **

_ Yep. _

_ Told him if he insists on treating me like a child then she’d treat him like the dead beat Da he was and told him to pack his shite and get out _

**Remus**

**I’m sorry but I have to say it**

**After ten fucking years she _just now_ realizes what a goddamn irredeemable bastard from hell he is??**

_ Hey. It’s not been easy for her either. _

**Yeah but, fuck, Remus you’re her** **_kid,_ ** **she could have defended you before now**

_ You don’t know what she’s done Alice. Don’t act like you know what she’s been through. _

**Come on, Remus**

_ He’s the piece of shit. Leave her out of it. _

**Ok, ok, I’m just saying**

_ Well don't. _

**Okay**

**Are you going to come tonight?**

_ I don’t know, Alice _

_ It’s a lot _

**It’d get you out of the house**

**And take your mind off of it**

_ I don’t know if I want to leave her here on her own _

**Okay**

**You’ll let me know?**

_ Yeah _

**I love you, you know**

_ I know _

_ I love you too _

* * *

6:24pm

_ Hi Padfoot _

**Hi Moony**

**Doing alright?**

_ Yeah _

**Want to talk about it?**

_ No _

**Okay**

**Did you see my text about Lily’s group costume?**

_ Hah _

_ The “Winks” Club _

_ You’re so cute Padfoot _

**What? Why?**

**I mean, yes, but why?**

_ It’s the Winx Club _

**That’s stupid**

**Winx isn’t a word**

_ No, it’s a club _

**Snarky**

_ Clueless _

**Pretentious**

_ Imbecile _

**Swot**

_ Brat _

**I don’t like that one**

_ Oh _

_ I’m sorry Pads _

**It’s okay**

_ I don’t actually think you’re a brat, I just like starting arguments with you _

**I like arguing with you too**

_ Pads _

**Moons**

_ I _

_ Don’t know whether to go to my party tonight _

**Hm**

**Do you think talking to people would be helpful or harmful**

_ I think _

_ It’d be nice to have something to take my mind off… everything _

_ But people stress me out _

_ And I don’t want to leave my Mum alone _

**Well I don’t know your Mum, but I’d like to think she’d want you to have fun**

_ Yeah, you’re probably right _

**Plus**

**You can get wasted at the party**

_ Very true _

_ I have to decide by 7:30 so Alice can know whether or not to pick me up _

**It’s okay whatever you decide**

_ I know _

**The feast starts at 7, so I may have to go soon**

_ Oh _

_ Alright _

**I probably won’t be able to talk again until it’s over as well**

**Will you be alright?**

_ I’m a big boy, I can handle an hour or two on my own _

**I just meant**

**I don’t want you to feel alone**

_ I know, I’m sorry _

_ I didn’t mean to snap _

_ Thank you for caring about me Padfoot. It means a lot _

**It’s okay**

**Let me know what you decide about the party?**

_ Yeah _

**Bye bye Moony**

_ Bye Padfoot _

* * *

7:13pm

_ Can you still pick me up? _

**Obviously**

_ Thanks _

**I’m glad you’re coming**

_ Me too _

* * *

7:27pm

_ We’re headed to Frank’s now _

_ Thanks for talking me through everything, Pads _

* * *

7:56pm

**Anything for you Moony**

_ How was the feast? _

**Really good! Everyone laughed at our fake prank**

**We’ve lulled them into a false sense of security**

_ What’s the Ultimate Prank going to be? _

**Hah**

**Well**

**We snuck into the kitchens early this morning put drops of a Levitating Draught in all the food for the feast**

**And we modified the potion so it’d be delayed for about 2 hours**

_ Shite _

**We also have been walking the halls and charming them to slowly soften throughout the past week**

**We even managed to sneak into different houses common rooms and some staff spaces and and do this**

**So, at about 9:30 tonight, everyone in the castle is going to slowly start levitating uncontrollably**

**Then, if they manage to get themselves to the ground, they’ll find it’s softened into what’s basically quicksand**

_ Jesus _

**Plus**

**We’ve transfigured about 50 nifflers, which we borrowed from the groundskeeper, into some of the goblets we’ll be handing out at our party**

**And we used the same time delay spell so they’ll transfigure back and start wreaking havoc at the same time**

_ Christ Padfoot _

**So, if it all goes off without a hitch, the entire student body and most Professors should be left either hovering or submerged in quicksand while the nifflers absolutely pillage the castle until someone can figure out how to undo what we’ve done**

**And we’ve taken measures to make sure this will all be very, very difficult to undo**

_ Padfoot _

_ I don’t think anyone will forget the Marauders after this _

**They bloody better not**

**Are you not at your party yet**

_ We’re actually pulling up now _

_ Alice said she’ll hex me if I spend the entire night on my phone, though _

**That’s okay**

**Prongs pointed out that if any of the Ravenclaw swots or Slytherin berks see me using a phone, they’ll rat me out in a minute**

_ So much for us texting each other during our parties _

**Yeah :/**

**You’ll tell me all about it in the morning, though?**

_ Of course I will _

_ You'll do the same for me? _

**Obviously**

_ Well _

_ I’ll see you on the other side Padfoot _

**Godspeed Moony**

* * *

8:23pm

_ Okay, a quick text never hurt anyone _

_ Some girl just asked me if my scars were real or part of my costume _

_ Send help _

* * *

8:59pm

**I’m in the loo solely to tell you that three girls have tried to snog me so far and Peter has had his hand up Mary’s skirt for the past half hour**

**I need as much help as you do**

* * *

9:13pm

_ Fingers crossed for your Ultimate Prank _

* * *

9:24pm

**The spell has started to kick in for a few people**

**Everyone else is laughing at them**

**Little do they know**

* * *

9:29pm

**Now a few people have started sinking in the extra soft spots on the floor**

**No one even notices me here with a phone**

* * *

9:45pm

**People are sinking** **_and_ ** **levitating! This is glorious!**

* * *

10:07pm

_ Alich is takign my phone becsuae I’m to pssed to be trustde apprently _

_ I just wnt to say befoer I go that you are so s lovely Pissfoot _

_ Fuck I nver eant to stip talkifn to you _

_ Ok ok she’s reslly taking it niw _

_ Bye bhe _

* * *

11:57pm

**You’re so lovely too**

**Sleep tight, Moony**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius/French:  
> C'est juste que ... chaque fois qu'il y a un grand événement comme Halloween, ça me fait sentir  
> Je ne sais pas, encore plus seul que d'habitude? Bien sûr, il y a James et Pete et ... vous-même  
> Mais  
> Honnêtement, je pense que mon petit frère me manque  
> Beaucoup  
> = It's just that ... every time there's a big event like Halloween, it makes me feel  
> I don't know, even more alone than usual? Of course, there is James and Pete and ... yourself  
> But  
> Honestly, I think I miss my little brother  
> A lot
> 
> Comment and leave a kudos if you enjoyed and I’ll sell my soul to you. Pinky promise!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rip how short this chapter is, I’ve been busy. I hope you enjoy nonetheless!

Monday, November 1st 

7:38am 

**Wait, did you call me Pissfoot last night?**

* * *

8:21am 

**Hah! They’ve cancelled classes because there are some spots of floor that they can’t un-quicksand**

**Back to bed with me**

* * *

1:47pm 

**Still not up Moons?**

**Who’s having a lie in now?**

* * *

3:22pm 

_Fuck_

**Hi there**

**Have a nice nap?**

_No_

_No I did not have a nice nap_

_I’ve thrown up twice already_

**Moony my angel**

**How much did you have to drink**

_I_

_Don’t know_

_I am not a lightweight_

**Hmm that sounds like a lie**

_No really_

_I have a very high tolerance for alcohol_

_I don’t know how I managed to get this hungover_

**Are you at home? Or still at Frank’s**

_Somehow I made it to my own bed and somehow I am in pyjamas_

_Not my pyjamas, but pyjamas nonetheless_

**Whose clothes did you steal Moons**

_I dunno_

_The sleeves and legs are way too short_

**Well yes because you’re a giant**

_Ergh_

_Pardon me, I’m gonna go lay over the toilet bowl until I stop feeling like my insides are attempting to escape to the outside world_

**Enjoy your hangover while I enjoy my day off**

_Fuck u_

**< 3**

* * *

3:36pm

**Are you on the quidditch field?**

I’m with Lily

What’s up?

**Is next weekend a Hogsmeade weekend?**

Yeah I think so

We usually have one after Halloween, yeah?

**Yes**

**Do you think it’d be weird if I invited Remus to come?**

Remus?

**Moony**

Oh

Well I dunno

Do you know him like that?

I mean, he’s not just some random bloke to you anymore, right?

**Yeah**

**He’s**

**I feel like I know him**

Okay

Do you think he’d be comfortable with that? Or with you asking?

**I think so?**

**I feel like he would be okay with me asking, and he’d be honest if he didn’t want to**

And you’d be okay if he said yes? You’re actually prepared for that?

**Yes**

Then there’s your answer

**Okay**

**Thanks Jamie**

Anytime Siri

* * *

4:15pm 

_So did you not drink last night or something? You seem very coherent_

**Pepper up potion, Mooniekinz**

_You are the worst_

_You couldn’t share?_

**You live in another country**

_We’re both in the UK_

**That’s not**

**You don’t have a pepper up potion at home?**

_Nope_

**You couldn’t buy one?**

_The thought of standing up, or Merlin forbid, going outside is nearly enough to send me back to the toilet_

**Congrats on making it away from the toilet**

_Thanks_

_Now I’m laying in the dark with classical music playing very quietly in the background_

**Lightweight**

_I could drink you under the table, Padfoot_

**Who was the one who threw up today?**

_Fuck you_

**Mm you wish**

**Hey, I was thinking**

_That sentence only really only opens you up to insults, you know_

**Do you not want to hear what I’m thinking?**

_I dunno, I think hearing white noise would just put me to sleep :/_

**You are so mean**

**I am not going to share my amazing idea that you totally want to hear now**

_Unfortunate_

**Moonyyyyyy :(**

_I’m just teasing_

_What’s your amazing idea that I totally want to hear?_

**Well**

**This weekend is a Hogsmeade weekend**

_Yeah you’re going to have to explain what that means_

**Oh, we basically get to go into a little village named Hogsmeade near the school and like shop and hang out all day Saturday and Sunday**

_Okay got it_

**And I was thinking (don’t you dare)**

_:)_

**I was thinking that if you needed a Pepper up potion so terribly, you could always pick one up from Hogsmeade this Saturday and/or Sunday**

_Oh_

**Yeah**

_Like_

_At the same time as you_

**Yes**

_Er_

_That’s_

_Wow_

**You don’t have to say yes**

_I know_

_I_

_Can I think about it?_

**Yeah of course**

**I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with**

_I don’t know that I’m uncomfortable_

_You’ve just surprised me_

**That’s okay**

_I’m sorry_

**There’s nothing to apologize for**

**It’s just a question, take as long as you need to decide**

_It is quite a ways to go for a Pepper up potion_

**Yeah, but they make them strong here**

**You could stock up and never worry about a hangover like this again**

_Usually I never have to worry about hangovers_

**Oh yes because of your unbelievably high alcohol tolerance**

_It’s because I have a really fast metabolism_

_I’m a stick_

**Skinny boy, eh?**

_Yep, I’m skin and bones_

_I eat like I’m starved most of the time, though_

**What’s your favorite food?**

_Reviving the questions are you?_

_My favorite food is Cawl, which is a traditional Welsh broth with steak and potatoes and things like that_

_My Mum makes it pretty often_

**That sounds really good**

**Mine has to be the Turkish Delights**

_Got a sweet tooth, do you?_

**Absolutely**

**I never had many sweets as a kid, so now I love to have them**

_I’m not much for sweets_

_Except for chocolate_

_I_ **_adore_ ** _chocolate_

**Really?**

_Yes. Especially dark chocolate_

_I could eat my bodyweight of it and still never be sick of it_

**Sounds like that’s your favorite food, then**

_Well I didn’t really consider it as a food, but I guess if yours is a sweet, mine can be too_

**Can** **_dark_ ** **chocolate really be considered a sweet, though? It kind of tastes like ash**

_Take it back_

**Make me**

_Dark chocolate is a gift to mankind and I will not have you disparaging it_

**Sorry, sorry, wasn’t trying to ‘disparage’ dark chocolate**

**It’s just not to my tastes**

_Hm I suppose that’s acceptable_

_I’m not really a fan of Turkish Delight_

**Fair**

**I talked to Regulus again today**

_Really? Did it go okay?_

**Kinda**

**He agreed to have lunch with me once a week**

_That’s progress, right?_

**I hope so**

_Either way, you’re making overtures_

**Yeah**

**I think James wants to go flying because we’ve got the day off**

_Okay_

_Try not to fall off your broom_

**I have never once fallen off my broom**

_I've never flown_

**_What??_ **

_Never even owned a broom_

**We are going to have to remedy this, Remus**

_Mhm_

**Don’t think I’m letting this go**

_Whatever you say, Pads_

_Go have fun with James_

**I’ll get you on a broom eventually Moony**

_I’m so sure_

**Talk later Moony**

_Bye Padfoot_

* * *

4:42pm 

_Alice_

**Wow, he’s alive**

_Yes_

_Not what’s important right now though_

**What’s going on?**

_Sirius asked me to meet him_

**Oh wow**

**When?**

_This weekend in Hogsmeade_

**That soon?**

**What’d you say?**

_To let me think about it_

**Well what do you think? Will you?**

_I don’t know_

_I kinda wanted you to think for me_

**Remus**

_Alice_

**Meet the boy, tell him he’s fit, then snog him senseless**

_Alice_

_Not helpful_

**You know you want to**

_I am not going to snog him senseless the first time I see him_

**And why not?**

_He could_

_We could just be friends_

**Bull fucking shite**

**You’re just a coward**

_So what if I am?_

**So you need to grow a pair and realize that you can’t keep hiding in your room and sulking for the rest of your life**

_Harsh, Alice_

**You need harsh**

**Look, I get it, people haven’t been kind in the past and it’s easier to say fuck em and try to survive on your own**

**But you won’t**

**At least, not happily**

_You sound like your Mum_

**Oi!**

_Sorry_

**I’m just saying, put yourself out there. It’ll only lead to good things**

_I still dunno_

**Yo** **u just need time**

**Give it a day or two and you’ll realize I’m right**

_Maybe_

**You always do**

_Not true_

**Very true**

_Alice_

**Yes?**

_Whose pyjamas am I wearing_

**Wouldn’t you like to know**

_Weirdo_

**Freak**

_Love you_

**Love you too**

**Even if you’re and idiot**

_Uncalled for_

* * *

7:36pm 

**I fell off my broom**

_Hopefully not from too high?_

**Like 20 feet**

_That’s pretty high??_

**I’m in the infirmary**

**I broke my arm and fractured my hip**

_Fuck Sirius_

**I would have texted earlier but I just convinced James to fetch it from the dorm for me**

_Are you okay?_

**Madame Pomfrey said ill be fine in the mornign but shes keeping me here for the nifgt**

**Fuck texting with one hsnd is hard**

_Do you want to call instead_

**Um yeah let me cast a quick mugfling charm tho**

_Okay_

* * *

*Incoming Call from: Prettiest Posh Prat* 

7:41pm 

_“Hi Pads”_

**“Heya Moony”**

_“You sound tired”_

**“Gee, thanks”**

_“You know what I mean, git”_

**“Yeah. Pomfrey gave me a sleep draught”**

**“It tastes like soap”**

_“Hm I’m sorry”_

_“Are you feeling alright”_

**“Well it bloody hurt when it happened, but my arm’s perfectly healed now”**

_“That’s good”_

**“My hip’s the only thing giving me trouble and Pomfrey said that’s why I have to stay overnight to make sure it heals correctly”**

_“So you’re still in pain?”_

**“Not really, it’s just slightly uncomfortable”**

_“Okay”_

**“Mostly I’m sleepy”**

_“Sleeping draughts will do that”_

**“And a bit lonely”**

**“I… don’t like hospitals”**

_“I understand”_

_“I’ll keep you company, though”_

**“Thanks Moony”**

_“Wanna do a quick round of questions”_

**“Yeah”**

_“Okay, I’ll ask”_

**“Mm”**

_“What do you find attractive? In guys?”_

**“Oh hm”**

**“I like hands”**

_“You like hands?”_

**“Mhm, when they’re all big and veiny. And curls, obviously”**

_“You’ve said before”_

**“Mhm”**

_“So if a guy has veiny hands and curls, you’ll think he’s fit?”_

**“...”**

_“Sirius?”_

**“...”**

_“Damn sleeping draught”_

_“Goodnight, Padfoot”_

*Call duration: 9 minutes*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please please please comment, I have no motivation otherwise <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the super short chapter! I’m currently writing other parts of this story (wink wink, nudge nudge), so there may be a few short chapters before a much longer one. As a consolation prize, though, I’ll include a snippet of what I’ve written so far in the end notes :)

Tuesday, November 2nd

7:45am

**Okay, fracturing my hip was kind of worth it**

**I get out of this morning’s classes too even though they fixed all the floors**

**Also, sorry for falling asleep on our call last night, that potion was strong than I expected :(**

* * *

10:22am

_ Are you still out of classes _

**I just got back to the dorm to get my books**

_ You’re fully healed? _

**Yeah!**

_ I’m glad _

**I have to go to classes now, but some time off is better than none I suppose**

_ Alrighty, have fun in charms or whatever _

**Potions with the Slytherins :( but I will try my best**

_ Bye Padfoot _

**Bye Moony**

* * *

4:32pm

**Ugh right when I got out of my last class I was ambushed by McGonagall. James Pete and I have to report to her office at 6**

_ Why? _

**Dunno**

**I think they figured out a way to prove the Halloween prank was us**

_ Damn _

_ Any way to get out of it _

**Out of going to her office? No**

**Out of taking blame for the prank? Won’t know until we figure out what they’ve got on us**

_ Yikes, good luck _

**Thanks Moony**

**How was your day?**

_ It was good _

_ I talked to my Mum a bit after you went to sleep last night _

**What about?**

_ Apparently I was offered a spot at Hogwarts when I was younger _

_ My Da turned it down without ever telling me _

**…**

**Are you serious?**

_ Unfortunately _

**That’s**

**I’m sorry Moony**

_ Thanks Padfoot _

**Do you want to talk about it?**

_ I wouldn’t mind hearing you describe Hogwarts a little bit _

**Of course!**

**Ok so basically it’s a big Scottish castle with Merlin knows how many floors**

**There are giant stone staircases that connect all the floors, but they’re right bastards and they move all the time**

_ The staircases move? _

**Yep**

_ Isn’t that dangerous? _

**I can’t say Hogwarts is all that concerned with safety**

**Apparently my freshman year they were going to plant this huge murder tree, but didn’t at the last second**

_ Murder tree? What does that even mean? _

**I honestly couldn’t tell you**

**Anyway, the grounds are huge**

**Oh, when I said James was making do sports all those times, I was talking about quidditch**

_ Ah _

_ What’s your position? _

**Beater**

_ Figures _

**Oi, what’s that supposed to mean??**

_ Just saying _

_ Delinquency and violence go hand in hand, mate _

**You are a terrible friend**

**So mean**

_ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ _

**What is that**

**How did you do that**

_ Dunno¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ _

**Wait I’m gonna figure this out**

**—\\_(“/)_/—**

_ Perfect job _

**Fuck you**

**Tell me your secrets magic man**

_ I thought you were the one who was so skilled with emoticons _

**:(**

**I want the shrug one though**

_ You could always just copy mine _

**I tried to**

_ No I mean copy and paste _

**??**

_ You’re such a pureblood _

_ Press and hold on my shrug emoticon and hit the button that says copy and then tap your text bar and hit the button that says paste _

**Dunno¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

**Wait how do I get it on its own**

_ You have to copy the one I sent that alone _

**What’s the point of technology if it’s going to be this complicated!**

**¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

_ Good job _

**Thank you!**

**I have to go get my story straight with James and Peter now though :/**

_ That’s okay _

_ Try not to get in too much trouble _

**I’ll do my best**

**Ttyl Mooniekinz**

_ Ttyl Pads _

* * *

6:45pm

**We have detention for the next week**

_ Damn _

_ How’d they figure you out? _

**Peeves snitched**

_ Peeves? _

**This bastard of a poltergeist that causes problems all over the castle constantly**

_ That’s awful _

_ You’ll _

_ Still be able to go to Hogsmeade, right? _

**Yeah**

**As long as we don’t get any more strikes**

_ Okay cool _

**Yeah**

**Erm I actually have to head to detention now**

**Talk to you later**

_ Bye Padfoot _

* * *

9:26pm

Moony

_ Hullo James _

I just wanted to let you know that if you don’t hear from Sirius tomorrow, you shouldn’t be concerned

_ Um okay _

_ Somehow that makes me more concerned than not hearing from him would _

It’s his birthday tomorrow

_ Oh _

_ He didn’t tell me _

He despises it

Sulks the entire day every year

_ Oh wow _

_ Okay _

_ Make sure he’s alright for me, will you? _

Of course I will

_ Thanks Prongs _

Anytime Moony

* * *

Wednesday, November 3rd

10:51am

_ I hope you have a good day, Padfoot _

* * *

1:34pm

_ My Mum said she’ll make cawl for dinner tonight :) _

* * *

4:22pm

_ Alice and I are going to the farmers market later which means I get to pick out my own potatoes for the dish tonight _

* * *

7:17pm

_ The cawl has been consumed _

_ It is as delicious as I remembered it to be _

* * *

9:36pm

_ Goodnight Padfoot _

_ Hope your day wasn’t too terrible _

* * *

11:50pm

**It wasn’t**

**I’m glad your day was good**

**Goodnight Moony**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “All too soon, Sirius was upon him and Remus only had a moment to panic that this was the moment before he was pulled into a hug that smelled of leather and red dirt.”
> 
> One (run on) sentence is all you get for now ;)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ridiculously short chapter because I spent all day finalizing the 8k word one for tomorrow. Excerpt in the end notes :)

Thursday, November 4th 

7:38am 

**Thanks for talking to me yesterday, Moony**

**I know I didn’t respond, but I read all your texts**

**I know Prongs texted you, the prat, so thanks for not asking about it**

* * *

10:47am 

_Of course, Padfoot_

_Also_

_Yes._

* * *

12:20pm 

**Am I missing something?**

**Yes what?**

_Yes_

_I will pick up some Pepper up potion in Hogsmeade on Saturday_

**Really?!**

_Yep_

**I am so so so excited**

**Wow**

_:)_

_Now go to lunch, dork_

**As you wish, Mooniekinz**

* * *

4:43pm 

**Wait, so what made you decide to come?**

_Hm well now that my Da’s not here to complicate things_

_And I’ve thought about it_

_I just really want a Pepper up potion_

**I really want you to get a Pepper up potion**

_Yeah_

_Don’t you have detention right about now?_

**Ugh, don’t remind me**

**I’m on my way now**

_Do you have it tomorrow as well?_

**Yeah**

**I probably won’t be able to text much at all before we**

**Before Saturday**

_Ugh okay_

_I’ll talk to you tomorrow?_

**Yeah**

**And**

**See you Saturday**

_Yes_

_Okay_

_Bye Padfoot_

**_Bye Moons_ **

* * *

Friday, November 5th 

7:21am 

**Wow you’re getting a Pepper up potion tomorrow**

* * *

11:01am 

_Fuck you’re right_

_That’s_

_Wow_

* * *

4:51pm 

**Are you excited**

_Almost ridiculously so_

**I’m almost sick with excitement**

**And nerves, I guess**

_Me too_

**Wow wow**

**Wow wow wow**

_Fuck_

_What time do we meet? And where??_

**Oh I don’t know**

**How about**

**12:15 at the Three Broomsticks?  
**

_Ok_

_That’ll work_

_Oh, don’t be late for detention_

**Shite**

**Bye Moons**

_Bye Pads_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Hi, Moons.” They lingered in the hug for just a bit too long before they both pulled back to stare at each other. Sirius was wearing a marvelous grin and Remus couldn’t help the smile that bloomed over his face, stretching the scars on his chin.
> 
> See y’all tomorrow <<33


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here you are. Enjoy :)

_Remus_

Remus apparated into the alleyway behind the Hog’s Head Inn at 12pm on the dot. If anyone (especially Sirius) asked, he’d say he had woken up at 11:30, gotten dressed, and apparated. The truth, however, was that he had gotten up at 9 and had spent 3 hours anxiously messing with his appearance. The outfit he had eventually landed on was a white collared shirt under a loose, forest green sweater. His trousers were a well-fitting pair of stone washed jeans, the only pair he had that hadn’t worn noticeably at the seams. Remus had fussed mercilessly with his hair that morning, but had ultimately foregone any product or beanie for his natural curls. Sirius had said he liked curls.

Glancing at his surroundings, Remus stepped out of the dim alleyway and into the watery sunlight at the front of the inn. Sirius and he had agreed to meet at the Three Broomsticks at 12:15pm, so Remus shoved his hands into his jeans pockets and started towards the other side of the village.

**Sirius**

Sirius was struggling not to run ahead of the group of students trekking towards Hogsmeade. Had the trip always been this long? Didn’t his classmates know he had important business to attend? He silently cursed James for refusing to lend him the cloak and let him use the secret entrance to Hogsmeade. So what if it was the middle of the day and the Honeydukes workers were bound to notice a schoolboy randomly appearing from their storeroom? He had things to do, damn it! People to see.

Sirius shot a glare at James who walked beside him and resisted the urge to trip the prat. _Ugh_ , this was torture. If the God Moony mentioned so often truly existed, he existed solely to cause Sirius torment.

“Padfoot,” James said. Sirius turned around, walking backward to look at him, and raised an eyebrow. “Slow down.” Damn. Sirius turned front again to see he was nearly in pace with McGonagall at the front of the group, who would surely not appreciate Sirius passing her by. He forced his legs to slow and cursed James once again. If this went on any longer he may throw himself to the ground and scream.

_Remus_

Remus reached the Three Broomsticks Inn with two minutes to spare. He loitered outside the door for a minute, his stomach in knots. Fuck. Was he really doing this? His palms were sweating mercilessly under the sleeves he had pulled down to cover them as thoughts raced through his head. Sirius was sure to notice the scars. And how skinny he was. Christ, he should’ve cast a glamour on his clothes, too, so they wouldn’t look so ratty.

The doors in front of him opened and he started. It was only a goblin, though, hobbling out and paying him no mind. He stepped politely out of the way and took a few steadying breaths. It was now or never. He wanted this. After a few more moments of steeling himself, Remus reached out and pushed through the doors.

The inside of the inn was warm and dimly lit. The hum of conversation surrounded him, but it wasn’t overly loud or abrasive. It actually put him quite at ease and Remus’ shoulders came down from where they had tensed towards his ears. With a sigh, he stepped further in and glanced all around him.

Most of the patrons seemed to be adults. In fact, he couldn’t see a single person in school robes. Remus frowned and looked towards the bar at the center of the room. The woman serving drinks had dark curly hair and a bright smile. She happened to glance over while Remus was looking, and her smile grew as she made her way over. Remus flushed bright red.

“Hullo, there. Are you new to the area?” Her teeth were perfectly white and Remus’ anxiety seeped back in.

“Er, I’m actually here to meet a friend,” Remus said. “You wouldn’t happen to know if the students from Hogwarts have come in yet?” Remus noticed the way the witch’s gaze flicked over the scars on neck and face before settling back to meet his gaze.

“Oh, you must be Sirius’ mate,” she replied cheerfully. Remus blinked at her. “They’ve not quite arrived yet. Would you like a drink in the meantime?” She turned to reach behind the bar and pulled out a bottle of fire whisky, holding it out to him when she turned to face him again.

“Oh, er, no thank you,” he said politely, shirking back from her a bit. “I think I’ll just wait outside for him. Cheers, though.” He quickly turned back towards the doors and headed out, ignoring her boisterous laugh behind him. He hoped Sirius would arrive soon.

**Sirius**

By the time the group of students rounded the bend behind the shrieking shack, Sirius felt like peeling his skin off. Jeffrey Nguyen had spotted a wild horklump in the woods and the whole group had stopped for five minutes to inspect it. Sirius had never wanted to cry more.

Now, though, McGonagall was making her usual ‘no mischief on threat of death’ speech while making eerie eye contact with him. He just sent her a cheeky wink and grabbed James’ arm in preparation to sprint off towards the Three Broomsticks. Pete was in detention for being out after curfew with Mary the night before, thank Merlin, so there was no one to slow them down. Surreptitiously casting a tempus charm, Sirius checked the time. 12:14pm. Remus may already be there. The thought sent butterflies soaring through his belly and Sirius suppressed a manic grin.

With one last dire look aimed at James and himself, McGonagall dismissed the group. Sirius, James firmly in tow, shot off down the cobblestone street. As they came up on the Three Broomsticks, though, James yanked harshly on Sirius’ arm. They both slowed to a stop just out of view of the inn.

“What, James?” Sirius asked as the other boy pulled his arm out of Sirius’ grip and began to mess with his robes.

“You’ll thank me later, mate. You don’t want to fly in there looking like a madman, do you?” James yanked at his hair and Sirius slapped his hand away.

“Thank y- _Thank you,_ Prongs, but I think I can do the rest of this alone?” He gave James a pointed look, and the other boy just raised his hands in surrender.

“Whatever you say, mate, I was just trying to help. But… If you don’t need me to go in with you, I’ll just go find Lily?” An overly sappy look appeared on James’ face and Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, go snog your girlfriend, mate, I’ll be fine.” James grinned and clapped him on the back, running his other hand through his hair.

“Cheers, mate!” With that, he turned around and shot off for Zonkos to meet Lily. Sirius shook his head at his friend’s retreating back and started towards the inn at a stroll.

As it came into sight, the butterflies slowly made a reappearance in Sirius’ belly, and he tugged nervously at his robes. Sirius rarely ever wore his school uniform the proper way, and today was no different. His robes were open and flowing, one side falling off his shoulder from where James had tugged at it. His red and gold Gryffindor tie was loose on his neck and the white button up he wore under his grey v-neck knitted jumper was unbuttoned as far as it would go. He had added the jewelry his teachers docked him points for wearing to classes: a silver stud in one ear and a small dangly earring in the other. He also wore a small padlock on a chain around his neck that James wore the twin of. Typically, students wore slacks or blue jeans as trousers under their robes and simple tennis shoes. But Sirius, ever the rebel, had instead donned tight black jeans and a pair of combat boots the Potters had gifted him two years prior. He hoped he didn’t look too posh.

As he reached the front of the building, his confident stride faltered and he stopped a few yards from the door. This was it. It seemed it had all been leading up to this, and he felt like a melting pot of emotions.

Before he could force himself back into motion, though, the front door banged open and out came a tall boy dressed in muggle clothing. He wasn’t wearing Hogwarts’ school robes and his clothing was a bit more worn than most Sirius had seen at Hogwarts. Scars were strewn across the bit of exposed skin he showed, one in particular cutting from above his left eyebrow and over the bridge of his nose. He hadn’t noticed Sirius yet, and seemed to be fiddling with the sleeves of his slightly oversized sweater.

He had a somewhat too large nose for his face, but it did nothing to detract from his beauty. He had a button nose, full pink lips, and a smattering of freckles across his nose and cheeks. His eyes, from what Sirius could see, were amber, and his cheeks were slightly rosy from the wind chill. _He wasn’t lying about the curls,_ Sirius thought to himself. His hair was golden brown and waved and curled in ways that made Sirius’ heart stutter. The wind lifted parts of his hair, making it fluff and sway, and Sirius wondered if you could die from wanting to touch something so bad.

Despite the butterflies dancing the tango in his stomach, Sirius grinned.

“Moony!”

_Remus_

“Moony!” Remus’ head snapped up from where he had been attempting to pull a thread off the end of his sweater, and his breath stuttered to a stop in his throat. Walking toward him with an easy confident gait was easily the most beautiful boy Remus had ever laid his eyes on. If he’d questioned his sexuality before, this confirmed things for him. _Yep,_ he thought, _definitely into blokes._

Remus could see why James called Sirius an aristocrat. Even if his family wasn’t involved, Sirius fit the bill based on looks alone. His face structure was somehow very strong and very fine at the same time. His jawline was defined, his cheekbones high, and his nose long and straight. Remus would almost call his features feminine, but he was still distinctly _male._ His pitch black hair was half tied up, his wand holding it in place. The rest of it fell to his shoulders in natural waves. His eyes, Remus noticed as they made startling eye contact, were clear and grey. He clearly knew who he was and what he looked like, and Remus couldn’t help but balk ever so slightly at the man stalking towards him. At least he was short.

All too soon, Sirius was upon him and Remus only had a moment to panic that _this was the moment_ before he was pulled into a hug that smelled of leather and red dirt. His traitorous arms froze in indecision before he forced himself to hug him back.

“It’s really you,” he murmured without thinking, and he felt Sirius squeeze him around the middle.

“Hi, Moons.” They lingered in the hug for just a bit too long before they both pulled back to stare at each other. Sirius was wearing a marvelous grin and Remus couldn’t help the smile that bloomed over his face, stretching the scars on his chin. He watched as Sirius’ grey eyes tracked over his face, catching on the scars, before meeting his gaze again. His lips tilted into a sardonic smile.

“Really, Moony? Green?” Remus’ heart skipped a beat as the air between them tightened. Remus broke first, bursting into a laugh as Sirius continued to grin at him.

“I _told_ you it was my favorite color,” he laughed. “I’m sorry your ridiculous house war wasn’t on my mind when I was picking out my clothing this morning.” Sirius’ eyes crinkled as he barked out a laugh that didn’t sound all that different from a dog’s.

“I didn’t think you’d choose the color of my sworn enemies, though,” Sirius pouted. Remus watched as Sirius’ gaze tracked all over his face before running over his mouth. His eyes widened.

“You never mentioned a lip ring!” Suddenly Sirius was close, very close, and his thumb was running over his lip where the black ring pierced it. Remus’ hand flew up to the arm Sirius had put to his face; not to pull it away, or even still it. Just holding. Sirius glanced up from his inspection of Remus’ lip and made that same intense eye contact again before laughing hoarsely and stepping back, taking his hand with him. “Sorry,” he muttered, rubbing his neck, “I always forget not everyone’s as tactile as I am.” Remus’ hand came up to touch the place where Sirius' had touched him and he grinned against his burning cheeks.

“It’s okay. I expected a bit of oddness from you.” He smiled as he watched indignation take over the grin on Sirius’ face.

“Oi!” He barked, obviously trying to suppress a smile. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m just saying,” Remus drawled, “I don’t know what I expected from someone who can’t even be trusted to text the correct number.” Sirius’ mouth flew open and he gaped at Remus for a few seconds. It really shouldn’t have been attractive, but Remus just watched the way his tongue twitched in his mouth.

“ _This_ from the man who didn’t recognize that he was talking to a wizard for a week straight??” Remus threw his head back and laughed.

“That is _not_ -“

“ _Boys.”_ A voice from behind Remus called out and he whirled around to see the brunette witch from inside poking her head out the doors. Sirius took a step forward.

“Rosmerta, darling, how can we help you?” Remus’ heart stuttered and he shot a glance between Sirius and the witch, who was smiling saccharinely at them.

“You two have been out here bickering and making a racket and it’s driving away the customers. Either come in or fuck off, yeah _darling_?” Remus’ eyes flicked back to Sirius. He was smiling serenely.

“For you, my dear,” he said, reaching forward to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, “anything.” Rosmerta simply gave him a bored look and went back inside. Remus turned to Sirius and raised his eyebrows. He flushed. “We, er, go back a ways. You remember I told you someone was selling us firewhisky?” Remus nodded. “That’s her.” Sirius ran a hand through his hair and looked sheepishly at Remus. “Wanna go in?”

“Lead the way.” Sirius smiled softly at him and pulled the doors to the tavern open for him to walk through. Remus flashed him a grin and went in. This was going to be an interesting afternoon.

**Sirius**

Remus was _amazing._ He was just as sweet and funny and witty in person as he was over text. The pair found themselves a quiet booth tucked in the back where they wouldn’t be bothered, and Sirius cast a quick repulsion spell to ensure this. They slid into seats opposite each other, and Sirius couldn’t help but notice how Remus’ hair caught the low lighting of the inn and shined beneath it.

“So,” Remus said in that gloriously low voice of his, “you told Rosmerta about me?” Their gazes locked again and Sirius’ heart went wild. He had realized quickly that Remus liked to make eye contact, and this set the butterflies in his stomach off every time their gazes met. Sirius ducked his head and grinned up at the boy across from him.

“I may have mentioned you. She’s really a terrible secret keeper, though, I told her not to be obvious.” Remus smiled back at him and Sirius had to stop himself from swooning.

“Oh, no, she’s definitely discrete. Only let on that she knew me after I said three words to her.” Sirius chuckled.

“Three words, eh? That’s honestly not bad, for her. She’s revealed more about me in less time before.” Remus’ eyes lit up at this.

“Why do I feel the sudden need to go grill her on everything about you?” He started to push back from the table and swing his long legs over the bench he was sitting on. Sirius lunged across the table and grabbed onto his sweater.

“Oh no you don’t, you’re mine for at least another few hours. She can’t have you.” Remus looked down at Sirius stretched across the table and smiled at him. He slowly sat back down.

“I suppose I can grace you with my presence for a bit longer.” Sirius flushed and reeled himself back across the table.

“That’s what I thought,” he said with a lot more bravado than he felt. Remus grinned at him in a way that sent a prickle of heat up his spine and he rolled his shoulders, leaning back in his chair. “Is it hot in here to you?” He asked. Remus just shrugged.

“I’m always hot,” he said. Sirius glanced up at him and raised an eyebrow. Remus’ eyes widened. “That’s- I meant- ugh, shut _up,_ you know what I meant.” His cheeks were glowing merrily and Sirius felt something shoot through him. This boy was going to be the death of him.

“Well,” Sirius huffed, breaking their eye contact, “ _I_ think it’s hot in here.” Ignoring the pretty eyes Remus had set on him, Sirius shrugged out of his robes and set them on the booth beside him. Then he removed his tie and pulled his sweater up over his head. Left only in his white button up, Sirius undid a few of the buttons at his throat and rolled his sleeves up to his elbows. He felt Remus’ eyes on him as he did this and looked up at him beneath lowered lashes. Then, keeping eye contact, he fluffed his shirt out a bit, showing off his collarbones and flexing his arms casually. Remus’ eyes flicked down to his neck and chest and he raked his eyes over Sirius’ arms in a way that made him flush all over. Then he met Sirius’ gaze steadily and gave him a lopsided grin that said he knew exactly what was going on and didn’t mind one bit. Sirius returned the grin and leaned back in his seat, feeling no more cool than he had before. But then, that hadn’t really been the point.

“So,” Remus said casually, “know any good spots to buy a Pepper Up potion?” Sirius threw his head back and laughed. Trust Remus to call Sirius out on his bluff.

“Honestly? I’m not even sure if there’s a store here that sells them,” Sirius laughed. Remus faked gasped.

“You mean to tell me you lured me here under false pretenses? I’m simply astounded, Sirius.” Remus was laughing too, and Sirius felt warm all over. This was what he expected and so much more. He loved having him here, in person, and being able to see and hear his laugh rather than just experience it over the phone.

“Before you get your knickers in a twist, consider this,” Sirius replied, rummaging around in his discarded robes. He struggled for a moment under Remus’ bemused gaze before triumphantly pulling a vial out of a pocket. He presented it to Remus with a flourish. “A Pepper Up potion just for you, Moony.” Remus laughed and reached forward to take the vial from him. As he did, their fingers brushed and Sirius swore he felt the shock all the way to his toes.

“If I had known we were buying gifts I would have gotten something for you, Pads,” Remus said. He was inspecting the potion as if it was the most important thing in the world.

“I didn’t buy it, I nicked it from the infirmary when I fell off my broom.”

“Delinquent,” Remus murmured, still looking at the bottle. Sirius kicked him lightly under the table and he looked up.

“Do you want to place an order before Rosmerta kicks us out for sitting and not buying?” Remus turned around to see Rosmerta watching them with an expectant look on her face.

“What, your _darling_ doesn’t let you sit here for free?” Remus teased, still smiling and fingering the potion. Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Rosmerta doesn’t do anything I ask her to do. Especially if it messes with her business. Remus snorted disbelievingly.

“Well, what’s good here? Is there a menu or something?” Sirius smiled to himself at Remus’ muggle way of thinking. He couldn’t get over how nice it felt to have him here. They were chatting so casually and it was all wonderfully familiar, as if they’d known each other for years.

“I wish you’d come to Hogwarts,” he blurted, and Remus looked at him in surprise.

“What? Today? I don’t think your professors would-”

“No, not today!” Sirius flushed at the very idea of having Remus in his dorm. “I meant, I wish you had come to school at Hogwarts when you were younger. We could have grown up knowing each other.” Remus’ features softened and he looked at Sirius a bit forlornly.

“It would’ve been nice, wouldn’t it?” Remus sounded sad and Sirius kicked himself for bringing it up. He quickly tried to move past it.

“Although, you probably _could_ come to Hogwarts today, if you’d like. We know a secret passage back to the castle.” Remus blinked at him.

“What, like sneak into the castle with you?” Sirius just shrugged. He had mostly been joking to make Remus smile again, but now that he thought about it… The idea of Remus in Hogwarts was one he liked. “That’s… yeah, I could do that.”

“Wait, really?!” Sirius couldn’t believe he’d agreed so quickly. Remus shrugged easily, smiling at Sirius’ surprise.

“Ever since my Mum told me I’d almost gone here, I’ve been dying to see what it’s like,” he said. “Not that your descriptions weren’t enough, but, well, your descriptions weren’t enough.” Sirius didn’t even have it in him to act mock offended.

“This will be so fun!”

_Remus_

“This will be so fun! Oh, Rosmerta, two butterbeers please!” Remus looked over in time to see the witch wave a hand and send two butterbeers over to their table. One set itself easily in front of Remus while the other wobbled and sloshed a bit on Sirius’ trousers before setting down gracefully on Remus’ side of the table and out of Sirius’ reach. This didn’t seem to phase him, though, because he simply pulled his wand from his hair, letting it fall down around his face, and cleaned up the spill. Then, he leaned over the table and grabbed his drink. Remus tried and failed to resist the temptation to smell him. That whiff of red dirt he had gotten outside was much more intense now that Sirius had removed all his layers. He smelled of leather as well, and was that-? Remus flinched back.

“Alright, Moony?” Sirius asked as he pulled back to his side, glancing questioningly at him. Remus’ heart was going a mile a minute. Was Sirius wearing pure silver? He wracked his brain, trying to remember if that was a normal thing for wizards to do. He knew pure silver was too soft for muggles to make into jewelry; wouldn’t that logic carry over to wizards? Was Sirius wearing it on purpose?

“Moons?” A touch on his wrist brought him back to the moment. Sirius was looking at him, concern evident across his face.

“I- Sorry, Padfoot, I just, er, got distracted. Your necklace is pretty, what’s it made of?” Sirius had no way of knowing, right? He had to be making this up in his head. In front of him, Sirius’ eyes lit up.

“Oh! It’s silver. Prongs got it for me when I left home for good. He wears the exact same one,” Sirus told him bouncily. “Actually, you wanna hear a secret?” Remus nodded uneasily and leaned in to where Sirius was looking around dramatically. “He had them made with pure silver to enhance the psychic charms he put on them. Now, in emergencies, we can communicate really basic thoughts to each other just by thinking!” Remus blinked at him. “Brilliant, isn’t it?”

“I- yeah. Does it really work?” 

“Yep! I don’t use it that often, though, because it takes a lot of concentration and emotion to make it work. Which is why it’s only really for emergencies.” He was grinning so brightly that Remus couldn’t help but return it, even if his stomach was still knotted up. This could prove to be a problem in the future, he knew, but for now it wasn’t affecting him, other than the faint smell.

“Er, isn't pure silver supposed to be soft?”

“I dunno. I think he used the argentum spell. You know, the one that makes silver chains?” Remus did know that one. He also knew it had been originally created so that there was an easy way to incapacitate and capture werewolves. He drummed his fingers on the table.

“Would you like to go on a walk? It’s so nice out, we shouldn’t just sit indoors.”

“ _This_ weather is your idea of ‘nice out’?” Sirius laughed. “But yes, I’d love to stretch my legs a bit.” Remus nodded and downed the rest of his butterbeer. They got up from their booth, Sirius pulling his sweater back on and shrinking his robes before stuffing them in his pocket. He also tied his hair up again, still using his wand. He looked over at Remus and grinned before taking his hand and pulling him out of the tavern. Despite his earlier uneasiness, butterflies erupted in Remus’ stomach and he couldn’t stop the smile that pushed onto his cheeks. He’d probably follow Sirius into a volcano if he led him by the hand like this.

**Sirius**

Sirius was in Heaven. On cloud nine. Experiencing Nirvana. This was simply who, what, when, where he wanted to be. Holding Remus’ hand, walking the streets of Hogsmeade. It was bliss. He honestly hadn’t been thinking when he’d grabbed Remus’ hand, but now their fingers were tangled together in a hold Marlene called the “waffle hold”, whatever that meant. Girls made no sense. This, however, made so much sense. He didn’t think he’d ever felt peace before this moment.

He couldn’t stop looking over at Remus who’d had a small smile on his face the entire time they walked around. They had chatted a little when they had first left the inn, but now they were walking in companionable silence. Nothing had ever felt so right. _And_ Remus had agreed to come back to Hogwarts that evening. Things couldn’t possibly get better.

“Would you like to go to Zonko’s? I’m sure you and James have another prank planned despite having just gotten finished with detention for your last one,” Remus said, looking sidelong at Sirius with those pretty eyes of his. Sirius swooned.

“Yes, I’d love that,” he replied, trying to keep the lovesickness out of his tone. “We may even see James and Lily there.They use that as their meeting spot after they’ve abandoned their friends.” Remus nodded and let Sirius pull him towards the joke shop. The door to the shop jingled when they walked in and Sirius waved to the man behind the counter before pulling Remus deeper into the store.

“Ugh, they’re all out of dungbombs again! I thought we’d be able to restock our supply this trip,” Sirius huffed as they came upon a wall of shelves labeled ‘Perfumed Practical Jokes’. 

_Remus_

Sirius pulled his hand out of Remus’ grip to rummage through the shelves and Remus frowned. He flexed his hand around the emptiness of where Sirius’ hand had just been. Who knew he’d get attached to the sensation of Sirius’ hand in his so quickly. He glanced over to see Sirius on his tiptoes attempting to reach something on a higher shelf. Remus chuckled to himself and stepped forward to help. He reached up for the item, placing his hand on Sirius’ back to let him know he was there. As Remus grabbed the item and was pulling it down, Sirius turned around and turned the reach into a hug, his arms settling around Remus’ waist.

“Oh, hello,” Remus smiled, wrapping his arms around Sirius’ shoulders.

“Sorry,” Sirius said into his neck, “you were just right there.” Remus hummed and leaned his head against Sirius’, content to hug him in the alise of Zonko’s. He knew Sirius was a very physically affectionate person, and he wanted to indulge him in whatever he asked for. Hugs were an easy gift to give.

“Your hair smells very nice.” Remus gave a sniff and pressed his nose into Sirius’ hair.

“Mmn thanks, I used Prongs’ poncy shampoo,” Sirius murmured, apparently content to stay as they were for a while. With his chest pressed against Sirius’ warm torso, Remus wasn’t complaining.

“Do you like it when people play with your hair?” Remus asked, moving his hand from Sirius’ shoulder to rest on the back of his head.

“Only certain people, but you’re more than welcome to.” Remus smiled and began to card his fingers through Sirius’ locks. His hair was incredibly soft and he only caught a few snaggles created by the wind outside. He gently unknotted them. They stayed like that for a few minutes, Remus quietly brushing out Sirius’ hair with his fingers while Sirius breathed into his neck. Eventually, Remus’ hand came up to the hair Sirius had tied up and he touched his wand lightly.

“May I?”

“Please.” He felt Sirius smile against his shoulder as he gently pulled the wand from his hair.

“What do I do with it now?” His other hand was still holding whatever item Sirius had been reaching for and he wanted a hand open to continue petting Sirius’ hair. Sirius pulled back from Remus a bit and took the wand from him, their fingers brushing. Then he carefully tucked it behind Remus’ ear. Their eyes met and they smiled at each other almost sheepishly. Acting on impulse, Remus leaned forward and kissed Sirius softly on the forehead. Sirius’ arms tightened from where they were still draped loosely across his back.

“What was that for?” he asked and Remus pulled back to look at him again. He shrugged.

“Dunno. I wanted to.” Sirius smiled so wide it looked like it hurt.

“You’re so sweet, Moony.” Sirius brought one hand up to rest on Remus’ jaw, his thumb swiping slowly over his cheek. Remus turned into the touch, resisting the urge to bite playfully at Sirius’ fingers. Their eyes met again and the contact sent the butterflies in Remus’ belly going crazy. Sirius was looking at him softly, his thumb still tracing Remus’ face, and Remus’ breath caught. Sirius tilted his head to the side ever so slightly and Remus didn’t know what to do with his hands. Should he keep them on Sirius’ shoulders? Is that how kissing worked? Of course he had kissed other boys before, but that had always been hard and fast. He had never had this sort of syrupy slow build up. ”Moons…” Sirius said quietly, a question in his voice. Remus thought the anticipation might kill him. He took a breath before leaning in and-

“Padfoot!”

**Sirius**

“Padfoot!” The two of them startled apart and Sirius looked over to see James and Lily coming down the aisle. Trust James to ruin a perfect moment. Sirius tried to give him a look that said _go away!_ but the pair continued towards them, oblivious. He felt like crying. Remus was looking at the ground, shoulders pulled together and an embarrassed look on his face. Before James had so rudely interrupted them, he could have sworn Moony was going to… He redoubled his efforts in glaring at James, and Lily faltered a bit, glancing at her idiot of a boyfriend. James, however, remained oblivious and came to a stop in front of Sirius and Remus. “I see you two have finally met!”

“Nice to meet you, Prongs,” Remus said politely, looking up and smiling at him. He stuck out his hand to shake and James just laughed and pulled him into a hug.

“Blimey you’re tall!” James laughed again and pulled back to look at Remus, still holding him by the shoulders. “Siri, why didn’t you tell me he was so tall? I would’ve worn heels.” Sirius rolled his eyes from beside Remus.

“Because I knew you’d try to make it into a pissing contest. Now hands off, you’re being weird.” Sirius came to Remus’ rescue and batted James' hands off of him. James stepped back and rolled his eyes.

“As if we didn’t just see you two canoodl- Oi!” James was shut up by a slap to the back of the head by Lily. She gracefully stepped around her boyfriend and came up to give Remus a quick hug.

“It’s lovely to meet you, Remus.” Her smile was bright and Sirius thought he saw Remus relax in her grip. “Please ignore these two idiots, they wouldn’t know how to make a good first impression if I taught a class on it.” Lily had a very soothing presence, especially when compared to James and Sirius. Sirius was suddenly very glad she had arrived alongside Prongs.

“It’s wonderful to meet you too, Lily. Is that a Hozier pin, by any chance?” Lily’s face lit up and she touched one of the many pins she had decorated her robes with.

“Yes! You know Hozier?” Remus smiled down at her and nodded.

“Of course I do, have I been living under a rock?” Lily beamed at him, then turned to point an accusing finger at James and Sirius.

“This. _This_ is why I say I need more muggleborn friends! You lot never understand my references.” James pouted at her and came to inspect her buttons.

“I recognize some of these,” he said, fingering one with the Holyhead Harpies logo on it. Lily just rolled her eyes and patted his face.

“Yes, and I know you’re trying very hard. But it’s nice to have someone who immediately recognizes my references without me having to explain them.” James frowned again.

“It’s not my fault muggles come up with the most ridiculous things. I mean, tellyvisors are just ways to watch other peop- oi, is that Sirius’ wand in your hair?” Remus’ hand flew to the wand he had forgotten was tucked behind his ear.

“Er-,” he started before Sirius stepped up beside him.

“Is that Lily’s lipstick on your neck?” Sirius asked innocently, glancing happily at the wand still in Remus’ hair. James flushed bright red, and Lily giggled and tried to wipe the pink off her boyfriend’s neck.

“Bugger off Padfoot,” James said, scrubbing at the mark. “I was just wondering what you two were-”

“And _I_ was just wondering what _you_ two were up to before you found us. You know your collar’s buttoned wrong, yes?” Remus had to bite his cheek to stop from laughing. James flushed again and his hands flew to the collar of his shirt. Lily looked amused.

“I dunno why you’re talking, your robes are always messed up,” he said grumpily.

“On _purpose,_ mate,” Sirius laughed. “By the way, you brought the cloak, right Jamie?”

“Oh no, you don’t get to use my cloak after taking the piss out of me. Go find your own invisibility cloak, yeah?” Remus choked.

“ _Invisibility_ cloak??” Lily just smiled at him while Sirius and James continued to bicker.

“It’s not for _me_ , you git! It’s so I can sneak Moony into Hogwarts.”

“Oh, so I’m just supposed to let you because it’s for your precious _boyf-_ ”

“Finish that sentence, Prongsie my boy, and I’ll hex you bollocks off. If Lily hasn’t already got them in her purse, that is.”

“You and what wand, mate? Yours is still on behind Moony’s ear!” Lily rolled her eyes at them and grabbed Remus’ hand, pulling him away.

“C’mon, love, they’ll be at it for a while now.” Remus glanced at the two boys, who were still going back and forth. He let himself be pulled off.

_Remus_

Lily led Remus out of the joke shop and down a narrow alleyway.

“Er, where are we headed?” He felt kind of bad for leaving Sirius behind. He was meant to spend the day with him, after all.

“There’s a bookstore just up this street. That’s a bit more your style, isn’t it? Sirius told me you’re a bit of a bookworm. A bookstore is a tad more my style too, if I’m being honest.” She glanced behind her, smiling. She must have noticed Remus’ hesitant look, because she laughed and slowed so they were walking side by side. “Don’t worry, love, the boys will catch up in a bit. They just have to get their argument out of the way. James has been feeling a bit abandoned since Sirius has started talking to you, I think.” Remus’ eyebrows shot up.

“Really?” He had never considered that their texting could have affected other parts of Sirius’ life. Lily nodded.

“Mmhm. The same thing happened with Sirius when James and I started dating. They’re very close, and anyone else coming into the picture throws them off sometimes.” Remus blushed.

“We’re not… we’re just friends.” Lily smiled kindly at him.

“I know. But you are very close. And you spend a lot of time talking. I think Sirius and James are so used to being _Sirius and James_ that anything else feels foreign.” She again saw his face and laughed. “Don’t worry, though. Sirius is very fond of you, and James would never resent you for being his friend.” They had reached the bookshop, and Remus stepped quickly in front of Lily to open the door for her. She smiled warmly at him. “Thank you, Remus.”

They stepped inside and Remus felt himself truly relax for the first time that day. Even hugging Sirius in the joke shop had carried some underlying tension. Walking into the bookstore with Lily, though, Remus felt very at home. Books had always been his safe place, and he liked being here with Lily. She seemed to be very kind and considerate and Remus understood why Sirius went to her when he needed peace and quiet.

“Oh, they have the new Newt Scamander book in!” Lily rushed over to a little stand showing off an orange and green book titled _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them._ Remus followed her over and picked up one of the books she was flipping through. Hesitating for only a second, he flipped all the way back to the W’s and found the listing for werewolves. He quickly read through the description and was pleasantly surprised. While it did mention that they turned into a ‘murderous beast’, it also had a footnote that explained that without a full moon, they were as harmless as anyone else. Remus tucked the book under his arm and made a mental note to look more into the author.

While he’d been reading, Lily had wandered over to the fiction section and began thumbing through titles. He went to join her.

“So… Sirius talks about me?” Lily glanced at him and smiled knowingly. She turned to face him, leaning one shoulder against a bookshelf.

“You’re just about all he talks about,” she told him. Remus ducked his head in an attempt to hide his grin.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Everyday, it’s Moony this and Remus that. It’s actually quite cute.” Lily was smiling at him, and Remus ran his hand through his hair, nearly knocking Sirius’ wand out of it.

“Did he put that there?” Lily asked, nodding to the wand. Remus slid it out of his hair and twiddled it in between fingers.

“Yeah he, uh, he used it to keep his hair up and we… I was messing with his hair and needed a place to put it and... he chose behind me ear.” Lily’s smile was radiant and she pushed at him playfully.

“Casanova, you are,” she laughed, and Remus didn’t deny it.

“I’m- he’s… yeah.” Remus took a breath to say something else when his phone buzzed in his pocket. “Oh, hold on, I’ve got a text.” He fished his phone out of his jeans.

* * *

3:45pm 

**Where are you? :(**

_Some bookstore with Lily_

_Come join us?_

**Be there soon!**

Remus clicked his phone off.

“The boys are on their way.”

**Sirius**

Sirius and James had finished with their row, and were breathing hard on the sidewalk outside of Zonko’s. Things had escalated after Lily and Remus had left and they had tussled a bit in the shop before being thrown out. Now they were sitting in companionable silence until they worked up the energy to go meet the other two at the bookshop.

“You really like this bloke, don’t you Siri?” James asked quietly. Sirius gave him a sidelong glance and then looked ahead again.

“Yeah. I suppose I do.” He wasn’t surprised that James hadn’t even asked about his sexuality, just assumed from context clues that he was into Remus. He had nearly throttled James for trying to call them boyfriends in front of Remus, though. It had been all he could do to not make things physical until they left. He made a mental note to thank Lily for taking Remus elsewhere when she saw trouble brewing.

“Are you ever gonna tell him?” Sirius sighed and kicked his legs out in front of him restlessly.

“I almost kissed him today.” James looked over in surprise. Sirius glared at him. “You and Lily just _had_ to show up, though.” James hissed apologetically through his teeth.

“If he was going to let you kiss him earlier, though, he’d probably let you try again,” James mused. Sirius shrugged.

“It’s hard to get the timing right, though.” Sirius stared at his shoes. James sighed and clapped him on the back.

“Come on, we should go meet them.” James pushed up off the ground and Sirius did the same, taking his proffered hand. The walk was somewhat awkward, a bit of tension left between him and James. Right before they went in, James stopped him.

“We’re alright, aren’t we, Pads?” He was holding Sirius by the shoulders. Sirius sighed and gave into the hug.

“Of course we are, you prick, just quit it with the boyfriends shite, yeah?” James nodded over Sirius’ shoulder and squeezed him once before letting go and entering the store.

As soon as he got inside, Sirius spotted Remus standing near the back with Lily. He smiled to himself at Remus’ silly sweater and ridiculous height as he made his way over.

He came up beside Remus silently and slipped his hand into his. Remus looked over at him with a fond expression and smiled. Sirius thought he might die.

“Hi Padfoot, did you two have fun trying to kill each other?” Sirius smiled up at him.

“Yes,” he said, leaning his head on Remus’ shoulder and looking up into his eyes. He could practically feel James rolling his eyes behind him.

“We weren’t trying to kill each other, just rough each other up a little,” James said, waking over to give Lily a kiss on the cheek. Remus switched the book under his arm to the other hand and Sirius looked at it questioningly.

“What’s that, Moony?”

“Hmm? Oh it’s a book on magical creatures.” Lily nodded emphatically from where she and James were standing on the other side of the aisle.

“It’s by Newt Scamander! He’s a revolutionary in the subject, he treats the animals with kindness and compassion rather than automatically writing them off as monsters. I’ve wanted to meet him for so long.” Remus was looking at her in surprise, then smiled and nodded. Sirius grinned. It looked like Remus was getting along with his friends and it made him feel warm and fuzzy.

“I liked the way he talked about some of them in the book,” Remus said quietly. “He really does seem to respect them as more than just ‘beasts’.” Sirius looked at him curiously. His words seemed to carry some sort of weight, but Sirius couldn’t figure out what it meant. Remus looked over at him and smiled before dropping a kiss into his hair. Sirius’ stomach soared in a wonderfully nauseous way and he leaned harder into the boy beside him.

“Are you two going to be here for a while?” James asked.

“I’d like to be, yeah,” Remus said, looking at Sirius with a question in his eyes. Sirius nodded with a smile. As if he could deny Remus anything in the world. 

“Well… I think Lily and I are going to head off,” James said, looking at his girlfriend. She nodded at him, a sheepish smile on her face. “We’ll meet you at the Three Broomsticks before we head back to Hogwarts, yeah?” Sirius and Remus nodded at him, and the two of them scurried out the door, giggling to each other. Sirius made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat and pulled on Remus’ arm for attention.

“Yes, Padfoot?” Remus asked, amused.

“What did you and Lily talk about while you were alone?”

“You, of course. And James.” Remus turned to face Sirius rather than being shoulder to shoulder with him. Sirius wrapped his arms around his waist once again.

“Anything interesting come up?” Remus tucked a strand of Sirius’ hair behind his ear and hummed.

“Nothing much, except that you were a bit of a jealous berk when James first started dating Lily.” Sirius chuckled and laid his head against Remus’ chest, pushing into his hand. Remus snorted and resumed running his hand through Sirius’ hair.

“I suppose that’s true. For a while… for a while, James was all I had and it was… difficult to not be his number one person anymore.” Remus hummed and pet Sirius’ hair soothingly. “I guess… well, I wasn’t the nicest to Lily for a bit. Which was terrible. I’ve apologized so many times for the things I said to her then. I- I got over myself though. Came to realize that Lily’s incredible, and that James wasn’t just mine, and I could live without him at my side 24/7.”

“That’s mature of you, Padfoot. It’s not always easy to share the people you love.” Sirius hummed into his neck.

“I’ve never- I’ve never had a best mate that wasn’t James.” Sirius pulled back to look Remus in the eyes. “I’m glad I met you, Remus. You’re… you’re everything.” Remus’ heart stuttered in his chest. His eye contact with Sirius was almost painful, it was so charged. Sirius’ eyes flicked down to his lips and Remus' breath caught in his chest.

“You’re my everything too, Sirius.” Slowly, Remus dragged his hand down the back of his neck. “I think you’re- Fuck!” Remus yanked his hand away from Sirius’ neck, wrenching out of Sirius’ hold.

“Remus?” Remus could barely hear his voice through the searing pain in his hand. “Remus, what’s wrong?!” Remus was bent over, clutching his hand in agony, panting out harsh breaths. _That fucking silver._ It was all Remus could do to not cry. “Remus, please, let me see.”

“N-no, I’m fine, Sirius, please,” Remus said weakly, pushing him away with his good hand. Sirius was insistent, though, and Remus was in no shape to stop him. Silver sapped every ounce of strength he had in him in addition to hurting like a bitch. Sirius gently but forcefully pried his hand open.

“ _Bloody buggering hell, Remus._ What the fuck happened?? That’s a third degree burn!” Sirius was crouched over him, frantic. Remus didn’t even remember falling on the ground

“I’m- it’s- it’s- I’m okay, Sirius, please, I’m-” Remus’ voice wouldn’t stop shaking and he couldn’t think straight. Sirius was calming down, but still studying his hand with furrowed brows.

“Remus… that looks- that looks like the links on a chain,” Sirius breathed, one of his hands creeping up to touch his necklace. He looked up at Remus and Remus looked back at him with wide frightened eyes.

“S-Sirius, please…” Remus’ breath was coming in short panicked pants now. Sirius’ eyes grew impossibly wider.

“Remus,” he said, his voice trembling too now, “you’re not…” Remus’ breath turned into a sob and he scrambled to his feet and out the door of the shop. He didn’t hear Sirius behind him as he bolted into an alleyway and apparated home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter’s excerpt:  
> “He knows, Mum,” he whispered when she was done, tears still falling. Hope Lupin looked him directly in the eye and said: “So?”
> 
> I will Venmo you all my love and adoration if you leave a comment🥴


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Posting before I head to work. Enjoy!

**Sirius**

Sirius sat on the floor of the bookshop for twenty minutes before someone else came into the back aisle. Then he got up and went outside to sit. Never in a million years would he have guessed. Besides the scars, nothing about Remus screamed werewolf. He felt sick. He couldn’t reconcile the sweet, pretty, snarky boy he knew with the image of a ravenous, bloodthirsty monster. And even though he knew Remus was what he was, he’d looked so scared when Sirius figured it out. And he had obviously been really hurt by the silver. Sirius touched his necklace and wondered at how easily he could run his fingers over it. How could something so innocuous be so deadly for someone else? Remus was probably in a lot of pain.

Sirius’ phone was in his hand and dialing before he registered reaching for it. It only rang once before he hung it up. Fuck. Sirius looked back through the windows of the store at the display of that book Remus had been holding. The book about magical beasts. Sirius pushed himself off the ground and headed back inside.

In the back aisle, the book lay abandoned on the ground. Sirius picked it up and flipped to the back few pages. There it was. The listing for werewolves. He read the entire thing including the footnote twice, but it wasn’t much information. It did say that they were harmless in human form. Something in Sirius’ chest eased at that. He didn’t know if he ever really believed that Remus could be dangerous, though. Staring blankly at the page, Sirius sighed. Then he went to the front desk to ask for more books about werewolves.

_Remus_

Remus apparated into his bedroom with a loud _pop!_ and immediately fell into his dresser. His hand still stung like a motherfucker, but he just sank to the ground at the foot on his bed and buried his head in his hands. _Fuck. Fuck fuck FUCK_. He was shouting it now and openly crying. This was the worst possible outcome. Other than physically transforming in front of Sirius, he couldn’t think of a way things could have turned out worse. Sirius probably hated him. He had probably immediately gone to James and Lily and told them about the big bad werewolf who had deceived him into being friends. Remus couldn’t stop crying, and he didn’t even notice when his phone buzzed on the ground or his mum knocked on his bedroom door.

“Remus, dear, are you alright? I heard you apparate in,” his mum called, sounding concerned. Remus just cried harder and stumbled up to open the door. She was standing there, a kitchen towel in her hands, looking worried. When she saw him, she gasped and dropped the towel, immediately pulling him into her arms. “Remus! What on earth happened!?” Remus sobbed.

“I- I was with Sirius and he- he was wearing silver and I didn’t think and I accidentally-!” Remus’ mum pulled back and looked him over with alarm.

“Oh! Give me your hand, dear,” she cried, turning it so his burned palm was facing upwards. “Christ, Remus, have you done anything about this?!” She quickly pushed past him into his bathroom where he kept his post-moon supplies. She reappeared moments later carrying dittany and murtlap essence. As she had done for him dozens of times over the years, she poured the dittany on his burn and carefully rubbed it in. Then she smeared the murtlap essence over the worst of it, and unrolled some ace bandage. “Where’s your wand, love, you should heal it up before I wrap it.”

Remus silently removed his wand from his back pocket, hiccuping and crying as he chanted some healing spells. No matter how upset he was, though, his mother’s loving and efficient way of dealing with things calmed him down. He watched, detached, as she wrapped his hand.

“He _knows,_ Mum,” he whispered when she was done, tears still falling. Hope Lupin looked him directly in the eye and said: “So?”

He stared at her. “ _What?_ He _knows_ , Mum,” he sobbed. “The biggest secret I’ve ever had. He could call the ministry on me and say I’ve hurt him, or- or come to the house and attack us…” he trailed off miserably. “I’ve put you in danger. Again.” Hope glared at him, then cuffed him lightly across the head.

“I have _never_ been in danger _of_ you or _because_ of you, do you understand me? I will not have you spouting off your father’s ridiculous lies as long as you live under this roof, am I understood?” Remus blinked tearily at her. “ _Am I understood?_ ” He quickly nodded, and wiped at his face with the back of his hand. “Now,” she said, “I understand if you’re scared that he may never speak to you again, but I like to think I’ve raised you to only make connections with _good_ people, ones who would judge others based on _who_ they are, not _what_. Does blindly hating you sound like this Sirius to you?”

“No, but he’s a pureblood, Mum. He was probably raised with all these prejudices,” Remus sniffed. His mum scoffed.

“Then he’ll just have to unlearn them, won’t he?” She had that same look in her eye she had the day she kicked his Da out. It made him feel a little more hopeful.

“I- I guess, yeah.” Hope nodded.

“Good. Now, I can either leave you alone for a bit, or you can come help me finish baking my loaf of bread. Which do you prefer?” Remus gave her a watery smile.

“I think I’ll stay here for a bit. But. Thanks, Mum.” She softened and got on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. Then, without another word, she grabbed her kitchen towel off the floor and left his room. The door clicked shut softly behind her.

Remus took a shaky breath and wiped the rest of the tears off his face. His mum was right. He was fine two weeks ago without Sirius, and he’d be fine now. Resolutely ignoring the throbbing in his hand, he walked back to where he had apparated in to find his phone and put it on silent, lest Sirius text or call him.

As he walked, he accidentally kicked something under his bed. Curious, he bent down to look for whatever he had kicked. His heart stopped. _Shite_. Sirius’ wand was there. Unfreezing, he carefully pulled it out from under his bed and sat down. Stupidly, just holding his wand made Remus want to cry more, but he swallowed it down. Was it really only an hour ago that Sirius had tucked this behind his ear? The thought made him nauseous with sadness. Feeling stupidly upset, Remus indulged himself just a bit and twirled the wand slowly in his fingers. His phone buzzed.

“Shut the fuck up,” Remus muttered, reaching for the device with the intent of shutting it down. Then he saw.

*1 missed call from: Prettiest Posh Prat. 2 new texts from: Prettiest Posh Prat.*

His heart stopped dead in his chest. Morbid curiosity forced him to slide his phone open and read the message.

4:27pm

**Remus**

**Can we talk?**

Remus felt like throwing up. Should he respond? ...Fuck it. Carefully, he wrote a response.

4:29pm

_What do you want to talk about_

Remus threw his phone down and groaned out loud. Why did he have to _feel like this_? Why couldn’t he just not care about the stupid boy on the other end on the line. It’s not like he was in love with him or anything, he had just met him. His stomach clenched uncomfortably and he pushed the through away. His phone buzzed again.

4:30pm

**Can I call you?**

What the fuck was he supposed to say to that? Of course he wanted him to call. He wanted him to call and say that everything was fine, that Sirius didn’t care that he was a werewolf and that he wanted Remus to come snog his brains out. But that simply wasn’t going to happen.

Before Remus could work up the guts to say yes, his phone began to ring.

*Incoming Call from: Prettiest Posh Prat*

4:33pm

Remus’ stomach clenched and he held his breath. On the fourth ring, Remus picked up.

_“Hullo…?”_

**“Remus.”**

_“Hi, Sirius.”_

**“I- um… I wanted- I wondered if you’d… come back.”**

Remus froze at that. Come back? He didn’t mean to Hogsmeade, did he? Did he think he wanted to embarrass himself any further?

_“...I don’t know.”_

**“You- er, you have my wand.”**

_“Oh.”_

**“That’s not. That’s not why I wanted you to come back, though.”**

_“Oh?”_

**“I… I thought we might be able to… talk about it? I’m…”**

Sirius sighed, and Remus’ stomach tightened even further in what he tried to convince himself wasn’t hope. He learned a long time ago that hope could hurt a lot more than it helped, especially when you’re a werewolf.

_“Sirius…”_

**“I’m not kidding. I… Merlin, I just want to understand. I know you’re not, like, evil or anything and I don’t want you to think… I don’t hate you, Remus. I really, truly don’t.”**

Remus didn’t know how to respond. Was that supposed to be a compliment? That he wasn’t ‘evil or anything’? Irrationally, Remus felt himself getting angry. He had gone 17 years dealing with this affliction, and now some pureblood ponce was reassuring him that he wasn’t evil?

_“I don’t know what you want me to say, Sirius.”_

**“I want you to say** **_yes._ ** **I want you to say you’ll come back and talk to me because I don’t want to lose you.”**

**“...”**

**“** **_Please_ ** **, Remus?”**

It did feel kind of good, though, to have Sirius being the one begging for Remus back. Remus almost laughed to himself. Who would’ve thought, the pureblood wizard was begging the half breed werewolf to come back. As if he could say no.

_“Do you mean right now?”_

**“Yeah, if that’s alright with you?”**

_“...yeah. Just give me a few minutes.”_

**“Thank you, Moony.”**

_“Yeah.”_

*Call duration: 6 minutes*

Remus hung up before Sirius could say anything else and sighed. He scrubbed at his eyes and went to tell his mum that he was headed out again.

**Sirius**

If Remus didn’t show up soon, Sirius was going to throw up. He’d had the urge ever since Remus had left, but now it threatened to become a reality. He had extended the olive branch. He had invited Remus to come have a conversation about it. What more could he- The _pop!_ of a nearby apparition stopped Sirius’ thoughts in his tracks. He stood up from where he had once again been sitting outside of the bookstore.

Remus rounded the corner and Sirius' heart stopped. He had already forgotten what it was like to be in the same room as him. He was so pretty. Remus caught sight of him and faltered a bit before continuing forward. He stopped about a yard away from Sirius.

His eyes were red and he had a cold look on his face. His shoulders were hunched forward and he looked guarded. If Sirius hadn’t known him, he may have been afraid of him. Sirius’ supposed he should be, then kicked himself for that thought.

“Hi,” Sirius breathed. Remus’ face softened slightly.

“Hi,” he replied, his voice a bit hoarse. Sirius' heart clenched.

“Er, did you want to go to the Three Broomsticks? Get out of the cold?” Remus shrugged and Sirius nodded, turning and heading in the direction of the pub. Remus followed.

They were silent on the walk and Sirius didn’t attempt to make small talk. He wouldn’t know what to say. They reached the doors and Sirius pulled them open for Remus once again. Remus shot him a glance then walked through without a word.

They settled into the booth they had occupied that morning and all Sirius could think was that Remus looked small. Despite being a very large person, he looked as if he had collapsed in on himself.

“Well?” Remus asked quietly. Sirius took a breath and ran over what he wanted to say in his head before speaking.

“I… wanted to apologize for if I upset you with how I reacted earlier,” he said carefully. Remus looked at him in surprise and then straightened up.

“No, I… I realize it can startling news,” Remus replied, picking at the ace bandage on his hand. Sirius frowned.

“Is your hand alright?” he asked softly. Remus again looked surprised. He tucked his hand under the table.

“I’m okay,” he said. “...thanks for asking.” He looked awkward. Sirius just nodded.

“Er, after you left, I picked up some books about werewolves in that shop.” Remus flinched ever so slightly at the word ‘werewolves’ but nodded nonetheless.

“They said that you have to be bit to become one?” Remus nodded again, keeping his eyes on the table. “But that if it’s not the full moon, they’re… you’re really not all that different from everyone else.” Remus looked up at that and made eye contact with Sirius. He slowly nodded. “Is that… Is that true? Is there nothing different about you when you’re not transformed?” Sirius asked a little hesitantly, not wanting to upset him. Remus shrugged.

“Mostly, yeah,” he said.

“Mostly?” Sirius coaxed. Remus rolled his shoulders uncomfortably and looked away.

“I’d say the only differences are I’m a bit stronger than I’d normally be, I guess. I have better senses, especially around... the full moon. I can shake off spells a bit easier, too.” He looked up at Sirius again. “That’s about it.” Sirius nodded encouragingly.

“So, you were... bit?” Sirius saw Remus’ face darken and his shoulders tense.

“Yes.”

“Would you tell me about it?” Remus frowned.

“There’s not much to tell. I was bit. I turned. Now I’m… this.” He seemed to hate this question more than the others. Sirius decided to move on.

“How old were you?” Remus glanced up. He made full eye contact.

“Six,” he said apathetically. Sirius stared.

“ _Six?”_ he breathed. Remus just nodded. Sirius’ hands shook.

“Who knows?”

“My parents. Kind of why my Da hates me. And Alice.” Sirius’ brow furrowed.

“Alice knows?”

“Yes. She interns at St. Mungos and we met after one of my transformations.” Well. Alice was a witch, wasn’t she? If she was friends with Remus, it really mustn’t be that big of a deal.

“The transformations,” Sirius asked, ”you’re always hurt after them?”

“Yes. Always.” Sirius’ gaze flicked towards the scar on Remus’ nose and back to his eyes. Remus nodded in confirmation.

“Does it hurt? During?” Sirius whispered. Remus sighed and trailed his gaze around the room.

“I don’t really remember… during. The transformation always hurts, of course, it’s agony. And the one coming back isn’t a picnic either. But, for the most part I can’t remember very much of it. Just as I imagine the wolf can’t remember much of what I’m doing now.” Sirius blinked at him.

“So the… wolf. It isn’t you?” Remus looked sharply at him.

“ _No.”_ Sirius nodded eagerly and the harsh look faded from Remus’ face. “No. It’s not.” Sirius took a breath.

“Why… why didn’t you tell me?” Remus scoffed and put his head in his hands.

“This is- I’ve never _told_ anyone,” Remus rasped out. “My parents were there when it happened and Alice looked in my charts, the bitch.” Remus was rubbing his face, seemingly unconcerned for the burns on his hands. “And you’re…” A pained look crossed his face and squeezed his eyes closed. “I didn’t want you to hate me,” he said miserably. Sirius’ heart clenched and he reached for one of Remus’ hands. He startled and looked up.

“I _don’t_ hate you. I meant what I said earlier. I just wanted to understand and… I think I do now.” Remus looked at him again, almost vulnerable.

“Are you... going to tell anyone?” he asked, voice wavering. Sirius blinked in surprise.

“No. _Of course_ _not_. Not if you don’t want me to.” Remus nodded and swallowed, looking away. “I was hoping,” Sirius started, trying to catch Remus’ eye. When he did he said, “I was hoping we could… still be friends.” Remus stared at him, then cleared his throat.

“You’d… um, you’d want that?” he asked. He sounded so hesitant that Sirius wanted nothing more in that moment than to hug him so tight he couldn’t breathe, let alone look so sad.

“I- I want that. I want that a lot.” Remus stared at him for a second more before releasing a shuddering breath and looking at his lap.

“I want that too,” he whispered. Sirius melted. He quickly got up from his spot across the table and went to join Remus on the bench. Remus’ head snapped up when he sat down and he sucked in a breath when Sirius threw his arms around him.

“ _I’m sorry_ ,” Sirius said, squeezing Remus as tightly as he could. Hesitantly, Remus’ arms came up to hug him back.

“Me too,” Sirius heard him rasp, and they sat like that for a while. Just holding each other. And if they were crying, that wasn’t anyone’s business but their own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It might be a bit before I post the next part, I haven’t written much of it yet.
> 
> As always, comment if you enjoyed <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: vague mentions of familial abuse
> 
> Oops, I kinda lied about how long it’d be before I updated. Oh well, enjoy!

_Remus_

Eventually, Remus pulled back from Sirius’ hug and surreptitiously wiped his eyes.

“You took your necklace off,” he sniffed, pulling his sleeves down over his hands. Sirius nodded and patted his pocket.

“I took it off after you said you’d come back.” They made eye contact and Remus gave him a small smile. “Do you… do you still want to come see Hogwarts with me?”

“Oh.” Remus hadn’t known that was still an option. “Can I get back to you on that?” Sirius smiled and nodded, reaching over to wipe a stray tear off Remus’ cheek. He blushed.

When Remus had first shown up, he had been expecting questions about how dangerous he was or how many people he’d killed. Instead, Sirius had _apologized to him_ before anything else, and then continued to politely ask Remus questions that weren’t invasive or stereotypical. Just an hour ago he had been ready to cry himself to sleep, and now he had the option to spend the night in Sirius’ dorm. He didn’t think he’d ever recover from this complete 180.

“C’mon, let’s go find James and Lily before they find us sitting here.” Sirius pushed back from the table and offered Remus his hand. Remus took it and stood up.

“What are we going to tell them? We look like we’ve been crying,” he said as he and Sirius pushed out of the tavern. Remus glanced over at Sirius, who, of course, didn’t show a single sign of tears on his beautiful face. He rolled his eyes. “Well _I_ look like I’ve been crying,” he corrected, rubbing at his eyes with the hand that wasn’t in Sirius’ grasp.

“They won’t notice anything,” Sirius assured him, guiding him down the cobblestone streets. “And if they do, we’ll tell them to bugger off and spend the rest of our time in Hogsmeade on our own, yeah?” Remus smiled over at him and nodded. Sirius smiled back and tightened his grip on Remus’ hand. Then he glanced sharply down at their joined hands. “Oh! I’m sorry, did that hurt?” Remus looked and noticed that he was holding Sirius’ hand with his injured one.

“Oh, no it didn’t. I, er, I guess injuries from silver are considered magical injuries and I heal them pretty quick,” he said, hesitant to bring up the whole ‘werewolf’ topic again. Sirius looked at him in confusion. “It’s the same with the scars,” he explained. “I heal really quickly from, um, I guess werewolf related wounds, but it’ll probably scar. If I were to just cut myself on a knife or something, though, it’d scab and heal like a regular wound, without the scarring.” Sirius was nodding, a contemplative look on his face.

“Okay,” he said simply. He looked up at Remus. “That’s another little difference, then?”

“Oh, I guess, yeah,” Remus said surprised. “I-I’m sorry, I hadn’t even thought of that one. I didn’t mean to leave it out, it’s-” Sirius gently squeezed his hand again.

“It’s okay, Moony,” he said, not looking upset at all. “I didn’t… it’s okay if you missed some stuff, I just wanted to know the basics.” Remus blinked at him.

“Oh. Okay.” His heart was still beating hard in his chest. He laughed a little shakily and looked at the ground. “I’m sorry, I’m not used to… talking about it. Or expecting people to be okay with it.” He heard Sirius let a small breath out beside him.

“Honestly… at first I didn’t know what to think. I grew up with all this… all these prejudices and stupid ideas about what’s right and what’s not.” Sirius was staring ahead, a resolute look on his face. He obviously didn’t like talking about his family, and Remus felt dizzily happy that he would speak about them to him. “I- I read about it, though,” Sirius said, turning to look earnestly at Remus. “And, once I realized that this was just like all the other things I had to educate myself on and change my mind about, it wasn’t all that difficult to wrap my head around. I’m- I like you, Remus and your… affliction isn’t going to change that.” Remus ducked his head.

“I’m- I could tell you more about it, if you want,” he said quietly. “Most books on the subject are full of shite, really.” Sirius scoffed.

“You mean to tell me that you _don’t_ eat babies on the new moon in your human form in order to retain your youth?” Remus choked.

“Where in the _world_ did you read that?!” He cried, watching as Sirius threw his head back and laughed.

“Some old tome written by a nutter named Blorgin, or something?” Remus’ eyes widened in recognition.

“Oh Christ, I know that one! I only got through half of the first chapter because of all of the shite he was spewing.” Remus shook his head and looked down at Sirius. “I can tell you more about what it’s actually like sometime, if you want.” Sirius nodded happily at him, then glanced over his shoulder and grinned.

“Oh! Here come Prongs and Evans. How much do you want to bet one of them won’t have their clothes done up correctly?” Remus tugged lightly on his hand.

“Don’t be mean, Padfoot, or they won’t be kind when you find someone to muss up your clothes with.” He waited for Sirius to laugh with him, but he didn’t get a response. He’d meant it in a teasing, perhaps flirtatious way, but Sirius just shot him an odd, almost alarmed look.

“Er, yeah,” he said, looking uncomfortable. “Um, come on.” Sirius pulled away and turned towards the couple on the other side of the street.

“Prongsie! Where have you two been?” He crossed the street quickly, bounding up to James and Lily. Remus trailed behind hesitantly. That had been kind of weird, right? Usually Sirius responded enthusiastically to Remus’ teasing, but it seemed he’d touched on a nerve. Maybe Sirius didn’t want to… tease with him anymore, now that he knew about Remus’ affliction. Remus tried to ignore the way his heart clenched painfully at the thought. _Stop it,_ he scolded himself harshly. Sirius didn’t owe him anything, especially his affection. Remus was _perfectly content_ being friends with Sirius. It was only just a bit unfortunate because Remus had thought for sure that Sirius had been _teasing_ back earlier.

He sighed quietly and watched as Sirius talked animatedly with his friends a few feet away. Remus couldn’t help but feel a bit alienated. A wolf trying to blend in with sheep, if you would. Remus kicked himself for the metaphor and his morose mood. He could pout another time. For now, he was going to enjoy the time he had left in person with Sirius. Remus rolled back his shoulders and approached the three friends.

“-with you and Remus, hm? Or was that just- Oh, hullo Moony!” James cut his sentence off and gave Remus a strained smile when he came within earshot

“Er, hullo,” Remus said slowly, surprised at the tense atmosphere. He stopped when he was standing shoulder to shoulder with Sirius, and glanced down at him. He was glaring daggers at James with his arms crossed over his chest. “Am I… interrupting something?” Lily, ever the peacekeeper, put her hand on James’ shoulder.

“Not at all, love. James and Sirius here were just having a lover’s spat, nothing special.” She was smiling serenely at Remus, and though he didn’t believe it for a second he also knew now wasn’t the time to ask. “How was the rest of your day?” Unbidden, the image of him sobbing on his bedroom floor came to mind. He returned Lily’s smile.

“It was lovely,” he lied easily. He risked a glance at the other two boys, who seemed to be attempting to communicate through glares. He cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Did you two want to head to the Three Broomsticks? I’m sure you all will have to head back to Hogwarts soon.” James broke his staring contest with Sirius to frown at Remus.

“You’re not coming with us?” Remus took an unsure breath and shot a glance at Sirius, who was now looking at the ground.

“I’m…” He took another breath and made a split second decision. “No, I am,” he said, forcing a smile. Christ, this was awkward. He didn’t know what James and Sirius had been talking about while he’d been arguing with himself, but it had put a strain on the entire group. Lily, at least, was acting normal.

“Wonderful!” She said, clasping her hands together happily. “We’ll go to the Three Broomsticks and figure out how to sneak you in, yes?” Remus nodded and looked once again at Sirius, surprised to see him already looking back at him. In his peripheral, he saw Lily pull James off in the direction of the tavern. She really was a wonderful woman.

“You’re coming?” Sirius asked softly, seemingly unconcerned with where Lily and James were going. Remus just smiled at him.

“Of course I am, you berk.” He nudged playfully at his shoulder. “How else am I supposed to steal all your sweaters?” In a sudden switch of mood, Sirius smiled blindingly at him. Remus’ breath caught.

“You can have all my sweaters, Moons,” he said, grabbing Remus’ hand and tugging him back towards the Three Broomsticks. Remus followed diligently, because where else in the world would he go?

**Sirius**

Prongs was such a fucking berk. Trust him to bring up shite that had no business being brought up, especially with Remus standing feet away. He was such a nosy git, always trying to get Sirius to tell him things that weren’t any of his concern. He had half a mind to pummel him as he had in Zonko’s earlier that day, except Remus was rubbing his thumb over their joined hands and Sirius didn’t think he’d be able to let go if Merlin himself commanded it. Fuck, he was in deep.

The four of them were sitting in a booth in the Three Broomsticks, drinking butterbeers and having a merry time. Sirius was tucked under Remus’ arm in a gut wrenchingly romantic manner. Sirius had thought when they’d sat down that this meant Remus could no longer hold his hand because, well, it was typically one or the other, wasn’t it? Arm over the shoulder or holding hands? But Remus had thrown his right arm around Sirius _and_ taken Sirius’ right hand in his left. Sirius thought he may pass out from joy.

As a boy, Sirius had been deprived of many things, physical touch being one of them. He hadn’t even been touched in harmful ways. No, his parents saved that for curses and hexes. So, when Sirius had arrived at Hogwarts, he had been introduced into the wonderful world of physical affection. It was _intoxicating_. At first, of course, he had scared away like a frightened dog (no pun intended). But after a while he had realized how comforting and lovely it could be, and he hadn’t stopped touching his friends from then on. James entertained him, of course, and slowly other people had gotten used to it.

Remus was the quickest to acclimate to Sirius’ touchy-feelyness. After Sirius’ first slip up with the lip ring, he’d tried his very best to keep his hands to himself. It clearly hadn’t worked, though, and Sirius hadn’t been able to resist initiating hand holding and hugs. The wonderful part was how easily Remus had gone along with it. And then started initiating himself. Now Remus was all over him, and every time he touched Sirius without prompting, he nearly fainted from happiness. This was all he could ask for, really. A cute boy to hold his hand and kiss his head and tease him about how bad he was with technology.

“Don’t you think, Pads?” James asked, interrupting his long train of thought. Sirius looked up from where he had been staring at his and Remus’ joined hands.

“Er, what?” James rolled his eyes and Sirius’ stomach clenched in anger.

“ _We were talking about_ how best to get Remus into our dorm without anyone noticing. The plan right now is to give him the cloak and have him use the Honeydukes passage. Then you’ll meet him at the statue of the witch at 8:00 and you two can take the cloak back to the dorm. Do you think that’ll work?” Sirius nodded tiredly at him. It had been a long day with lots of emotional ups and downs. He kind of just wanted to go home and go to bed.

Suddenly, a chime went off and outside a blue light shot into the sky. Remus beside him jumped slightly, while the three Hogwarts students just nodded and began picking up their things.

“That’s the five minute warning,” Sirius explained at Remus’ questioning glance. Remus nodded. “Could I have my wand back, Moons?”

“Oh, sorry,” he replied, pulling Sirius’ wand out of his sleeves and handing it back to him. Sirius smiled and kissed him on the cheek as James and Lily slid out of the booth.

“Come one, I’ll show you to Honeydukes real quick and then I have to go.” Remus and Sirius followed after James and Lily, Sirius smoothly taking the shimmering fabric James offered him. Then the two pairs headed off in opposite directions, James and Lily to meet McGonagall, and Remus and Sirius to the Honeydukes store room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can y’all tell physical touch is my love language?
> 
> Pretty please comment😭I know I’m bad at responding but I promise I read every single one, they mean so much to me


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ;)

_Remus_

Sirius had shown Remus to the store room an hour ago, and Remus had spent an hour trekking down a dark cold passage. He was glad his phone was fully charged so he could listen to music on the way, or he’d be hopelessly bored. He had shot off a quick text letting his mother know that he wouldn’t be home until tomorrow.

The hour in the passage had given Remus time to think and he’d come to one conclusion: staying the night in Sirius’ dorm might break him. Sirius was too funny and nice and good smelling, especially now that he’d pocketed that necklace. Not to mention that he’d pocketed the necklace _for Remus._ He’d been so sympathetic and understanding about Remus’ problem and had bounced back from the shock remarkably quick. So quick, that Remus still felt somewhat like he was living in a dream world. Like any minute he’d wake up at the foot of his bed with tears dried on his face. He shook his head and kicked a stone down the passage. How had he gotten so lucky? In addition to all the wonderful things Sirius was, he was _bloody fit_. Christ, he was beautiful. He had nicely toned arms and a gorgeous face and long beautiful hair. Remus mentally prepared himself for the amount of self control sleeping in the same room as him would take.

It didn’t help that Sirius and he had nearly kissed twice today. Every time Remus thought back to that moment in the joke shop, his stomach dropped with excitement and regret. He tried not to think about the bookstore, about what could have been if not for his traitorous fucking body. Remus couldn’t hate the wolf anymore than he already did, but this just added to the long, long list of the ways it had fucked up his life.

Remus let out a long sigh and slowed his pace a bit. Despite nearly kissing twice, Sirius had acted so odd in that moment in the street. Or maybe Remus was imagining it. Maybe Remus was so obsessed with being the tossed aside little unloved werewolf that he took every little thing as rejection. Remus didn’t know what to think. What he really wanted was to kiss Sirius and be done with it. One way or another, no more fruitless pining. Either Sirius would reject him and they’d just be friends or…

Or. Remus’ heart clenched at or. Or he’d get what he’d always dreamed of but never imagined he could have. Sirius already knew his two biggest secrets: magic and lycanthropy. There was no big secret to fuck them up down the line. He could… he could actually have a happy, honest relationship with him. If Sirius wanted it. The thought made him lightheaded and Remus picked up the pace again. Was it sad that an hour without Sirius was getting to him?

**Sirius**

Sirius slammed into the dormitory, wand already raised and casting cleaning spells all around the room.

_Remus_ was coming here. In his dorm. To be with him. All night. He thought he might throw up. He sent his dirty laundry flying into the hamper at startling speeds, earning him a look from James.

“Calm down, Padfoot. He’s obviously mad for you, he’s not going to care if he sees your dirty socks lying about,” James muttered. Sirius glared at him, not pausing his cleaning.

“Go to sleep, Prongs, isn’t it past your bedtime?” He shot an air freshening charm at his bed, hoping to get rid of the smell of the crisps he’d had laying out.

“I’m not going to bed until you explain about the necklace, berk, and why you were acting so cagey earlier.” Sirius turned angrily to face his best mate. Sirius loved the bloke, he really did, but sometimes he took the protective shite too far.

“ _I told you_ that it’s none of your business! Stop sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong before I hex it clean off your face,” he bit out. Kingsley’s curtains had been shut when they entered the room and Sirius hoped he had his typical silencing charms up, or they’d get an earful about shouting in the dorms. James frowned at him.

“So you won’t tell me why you took it off, even though you know we’re supposed to keep them on in case of emergencies?” He asked. “You’ve worn it for years, what’s changed?” Sirius scrubbed at his face, frustrated. He knew James had reason to question him. He knew he would be on James’ arse if he ever took his off. They didn’t even remove them to shower. He just didn’t know how to explain without outing Remus. He didn’t want to lie to James; he didn’t think he could.

“Would you believe me if I said I had a very good reason but I couldn’t tell you?” He finally sighed. James stared at him.

“Can’t tell me,” he said flatly. Sirius looked at him in distress.

“ _Yes.”_ James didn’t look convinced. “Come on, Jamie, you know I wouldn’t take it off for any little thing. Can’t you just trust that I have a good reason, and that I’ll tell you when I’m ready? Or when I can?” James softened at the anxiety evident in his voice. He stepped forward and pulled Sirius into a hug.

“Of course you wouldn’t take it off for anything, that’s why I was worried,” James told him. Sirius sighed and pressed his head hard into James’ shoulder. “You couldn’t have said that earlier, though? I’ve been worried all night.” Sirius pulled back to glare at him.

“I _would have_ if you hadn’t brought Remus into it right as he was walking up!” Sirius had been angry enough in that moment that he’d wanted to hex James, even while Moony still had his wand. James at least had the decency to look embarrassed about it now, though. He removed an arm from around Sirius to run through his hair, frowning.

“That was quite awkward, wasn’t it?” Sirius just rolled his eyes and continued flicking his wand at dirty parts of the room with his arms still around James.

“Yes, you git, terribly awkward. The only thing that saved your sorry arse was your girlfriend. You should honestly pay her, she’s doing so much charity work for you.” James just snorted and pulled back from the hug to wave his wand at a mysterious stain on their dresser.

“Yes, well, you should pay Remus for the amount of physical affection he gives you,” James drawled. “Is he normally like that, or is that just for you?” Sirius blushed.

“I think it’s just for me,” he said dreamily. James rolled his eyes.

“Isn’t it about time to go pick lover boy up?” Sirius jolted and cast a tempus charm. 7:57pm.

“Shite! Finish with the room, yeah?” He said, grabbing the map from James’ bedside drawer and bolting out of the dorm. James’ laugh followed him out the door.

_Remus_

Remus stepped out from behind the statue of the one-eyed witch, making sure the invisibility cloak was secure around his shoulders. He had waited in the passage for a while, but had gotten impatient when the clock hit 8:15pm. He’d thought maybe Sirius was out here waiting on _him_ , but no. He was alone in a gigantic corridor with no clue where Sirius or the Gryffindor dorms were.

Just as Remus was about to resign himself to taking a seat and waiting for Sirius to show, he heard footsteps coming down the hallway. He held his breath and hoped it was Sirius and not some random student.

“I don’t understand why we couldn’t talk outside of your common room, brother,” he heard an aristocratic voice say. He froze. It sounded almost like…

“I told you, I have places to be Reggie,” a different voice responded. Sirius.

“ _Don’t_ call me that _,”_ the original voice spat. Remus heard Sirius laugh.

“Oh, I’m sorry _Regulus_ I didn’t realize you actually liked your ridiculous name.” Sirius and Regulus. Remus was scarcely breathing. Why had Sirius brought his brother with him? Wasn’t Regulus a Slytherin? Why was he on Gryffindor’s floor when his dorm was in the basement? These questions swam through his head as the footsteps came around the corner and the two boys came into view.

“Just because you’re an ungrateful brat doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the history behind my name,” Regulus snapped. Sirius rolled his eyes and stopped his brother a yard or two from where Remus was standing. Remus watched silently.

“Well? What did you want to talk about? You went to all this effort to come find me when you could have just sent a note. What’s so important that you had to say it in person?” Regulus sobered at that. His already impeccable posture straightened even more and he took a breath.

“There has been… talk. At home. Of you.” Sirius' face hardened and then drained of all emotion.

“Talk,” he intoned, not quite a question. Regulus nodded.

“And I just felt it was my duty to warn you that there are plans being set in motion that won’t have a very good outcome for you.” Sirius just looked at him.

“And you know this because…?” Regulus huffed.

“They included me on the plans, of course.” Sirius’ face twitched.

“And you’re going to go along with them.” Regulus looked at his brother for a long moment, some emotion crossing his face.

“...I don’t know,” he said finally. Sirius’ stoic resolve broke.

“Reg,” he said, grabbing his brother by the arms. “You _have_ to get out of there! I know you hate it and it’s not-” Regulus yanked himself out of his brother’s hold, a disgusted look on his face.

“I’ve chosen to overlook the fact that you’re a _bloodtraitor_ , Sirius, because you are my brother. But do not delude yourself into thinking that we are the same. I am not as weak as you, and you will _not_ drag me down in your desperate fall from grace!” Regulus stared at his brother with hard eyes, almost creepily devoid of emotion despite his impassioned words. “You have been warned. Do with the information as you will, but leave me out of your childish antics.” With that, Regulus turned on his heel, swishing his robes regally, and strided away. Sirius watched him go with a stricken look on his face.

Remus didn’t know what to do. He didn’t think Sirius knew he was there, and he didn’t think he’d want Remus to have heard all that. Sirius was staring at where Regulus had disappeared, not moving. Remus wanted more than anything to comfort him, but it didn’t seem his place. As quietly as he could, he backed towards the stone witch. Sirius started and looked over.

“Moons?” He asked into the empty corridor. Remus froze, then slowly pulled the cloak off himself.

“Sirius… are you alright?” Remus asked, taking a hesitant step toward the other boy. Sirius just looked at him, a vulnerable look spasming over his face, before shrugging and looking away.

“I don’t know why I expected any different. He’s still Regulus, after all.” A tension Remus hadn’t seen before lined Sirius’ shoulders and his face was cold and distant. In a flash, Remus saw what Sirius could have become if he hadn’t left his family. The Black Heir. As cold and stoic and unfeeling as Regulus had seemed. Remus’ stomach clenched. He took another few steps toward Sirius.

“It’s still awful, though,” he said softly. “He’s your brother.” Sirius scoffed nastily.

“And what a wonderful brother he is.” Sirius’ voice was dead and resigned and Remus’ heart hurt. On impulse, he closed the space between himself and Sirius and pulled him somewhat roughly into a tight hug.

Sirius was still tense in his arms, but he returned the hug and rested his head on Remus’ chest. Remus scoured his brain for something to say.

“Would you like to hear some Welsh?” He blurted out, then cursed himself soundly in his head. What kind of stupid offer was that? He opened his mouth to apologize and offer something else when Sirius laughed quietly into Remus’ chest and nodded. Remus blinked in surprise _._ Ok, not his worst idea apparently. Remus cleared his throat.

“Ti'n gwybod, pan welais i chi gyntaf roeddwn i'n meddwl eich bod chi'n rhyw fath o dduw Groegaidd,” he said, his voice gravelly. He buried his nose in Sirius’ hair and laughed to himself. “Ac yna roedd yn rhaid i chi fynd yn y bastard mwyaf rhyfeddol, stop-galon i mi ei gyfarfod erioed. Nawr beth ydw i fod i'w wneud?” Sirius was starting to relax in his arms, and Remus kissed the top of his head. “Rydych chi'n mynd i fod yn farwolaeth i mi, fachgen posh. Pwy a ŵyr a fyddaf yn gallu cadw fy nwylo i mi fy hun heno.”

“That’s a lot of Welsh,” Sirius said hoarsely, then turned to bury his face in Remus’ neck. Remus closed his eyes against the wave of attraction. He liked being affectionate with Sirius, but it really tested his self control. He sighed and pet Sirius’ hair gently, ready to talk some more, but Sirius interrupted him.

“Tu es si adorable, Remus,” Sirius said into his neck, and Remus nearly went into cardiac arrest. Hearing Sirius say his name in a French accent was wonderful, but _feeling_ his lips brushing against his neck as he did was otherworldly. He subtly twisted his hips away from Sirius’ torso. Oblivious, Sirius kept going. “Je ne pensais vraiment pas que je rencontrerais quelqu'un comme toi, stupide putain de géant,” Sirius breathed, then laughed to himself. Remus glanced down at him.

“Having fun telling jokes to yourself?” Sirius pulled back, the feeling of his arms sliding on Remus’ waist making him shudder.

“I just called you a stupid fucking giant,” he said with a cheeky smile. Remus couldn’t control the grin that broke over his face. He was so relieved to have smiley Sirius back.

“All those words just to insult me?” He pulled at Sirius’ hair teasingly. Sirius gasped and kicked his ankle in retaliation.

“I may have said some other stuff before the giant comment,” Sirius grinned, leaning into Remus. Remus laughed and tilted his head in question.

“Well? Are you going to share with the class? Or are you going to leave me in suspense, you insufferable tease,” Remus asked, smiling down at him. Sirius stepped a bit farther into Remus’ space and pretended to consider the question.

“Hmm,” he said, tilting his lips in consideration and looking off before meeting Remus’ eyes again and smiling. ”I think I’ll let you live in suspense for a bit. It’s good for you, really. Builds character and whatnot.” Remus’ heart jumped in his chest and he was helpless but to smile at the boy in his arms.

“I could make you tell me,” he said jokingly, meeting Sirius’ electric grey eyes. He watched as Sirius' eyes widened and then fell into half lids.

“And how would you do that?” Sirius’ asked, voice raspy. Remus’ breath caught. He hadn’t exactly meant it like that, but….

“I have a few ideas,” Rmeus breathed, barely even meaning to speak. Their faces were inches apart now, and Remus couldn’t remember how they’d gotten this way. The way Sirius was looking at him was doing terrible things to Remus’ nervous system and Remus watched, transfixed, as Sirius licked his lips.

Their height difference had never been so obvious and Remus stared down at Sirius, relishing in how small but solid he felt in his arms. Remus could smell butterbeer and mint on Sirius’ breath and it was somehow the most intoxicating thing he’d ever experienced. Slowly, Sirius pulled his arms from around Remus’ waist and snaked them between their bodies to wrap around Remus’ neck. Remus shuddered at the sensation

“I don’t think you’d do it,” Sirius murmured, his breath ghosting against Remus’ mouth. Remus was doing his best not to expose himself by pressing his hips against Sirius, and he swallowed hard. “I don’t think you have the guts.” Remus’ heart was fully in his throat and he could feel Sirius holding his breath.

“Say I won’t,” Remus whispered, his voice on the verge of wavering. _Damn the consequences_ , he thought. He was in far too deep, and if he let another opportunity to kiss this beautiful boy pass him by he may just have to Avada himself. He stared into Sirius’ eyes, the challenge clear. Sirius swallowed and Remus’ eyes flicked down to track the movement.

“You won’t,” Sirius ground out. Remus let out a breathy laugh before leaning forward to snog him senseless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see y’all next chapter xoxo
> 
> comments are always appreciated <3


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! It took a bit of writing and rewriting before I was happy with it. Enjoy!

**Sirius**

The night was not going as Sirius had expected. First, he had actually come to an understanding with James about the necklace instead of getting into a duel in the middle of their dorm. Then, he’d run into his brother, who actually seemed a bit conflicted over what their family was doing. And now… now he was standing nose to nose with Remus, practically begging him to kiss him.

“Say I won’t,” Remus said huskily, eating Sirius alive with his eyes. Sirius’ entire body was aflame and he didn’t think he was breathing. His arms were around Remus’ neck and he was practically shaking in anticipation.

Sirius had only been waiting to do this for a day, but it felt like centuries. Centuries and centuries of wanting Remus, of yearning for them to be  _ more _ . All those hours of texting and all the underlying tension and all the missed chances. It was all coming to a head now and Sirius didn’t know if he’d be able to handle it. He felt like he was falling apart at the seams, and only Remus’ strong arms around his waist were keeping him together.

Fuck, he loved Remus’ arms. The way Remus described himself, you’d think he was this scrawny stick of a thing, but that was nowhere near the truth. Despite being slim, Remus had incredible strength in his arms; Sirius could feel his muscles every time they hugged. Sirius was no weakling himself, what with all of the Quidditch practice, but there was something about Remus’ strength. It was so understated, and Remus obviously tried to hide it. Sirius wondered if it had to do with the werewolf thing.

Right now, Remus was staring at him heatedly with those peculiar amber eyes and Sirius physically couldn’t figure out how to move his mouth. He swallowed and Remus tracked the movement almost predatorily. Sirius trembled.

“You won’t,” he finally managed to rasp, feeling like he was going to fall out of his skin. There was a moment of delicious anticipation and tension where they both just looked at each other before Remus smiled. It wasn’t a soft grin, or one Sirius had seen from him before. Remus grinned like a starving man presented with an entire feast. Before he could even take a breath to steady himself, Remus leaned forward and pressed his lips to Sirius’.

From the look in Remus’ eyes, Sirius had assumed that it would be scorching, that he would be eaten alive by the kiss. The reality was so much better. Remus was so gentle, pulling a hand from Sirius’ waist to rest on his jaw, and their lips just barely brushed before Remus pulled back slightly. Sirius made a small noise and leaned more solidly into the kiss.

Sirius could never describe the feeling. Never describe the sensation, after wanting it and waiting for it and building up to it. It was so tender. So, so soft and gentle and sweet. It was really just a touch of the lips. A wash of sensation that they lingered on. Their lips moved against one another and Sirius could feel all the repressed emotion and attraction flowing out between them. It was divine.

After a moment, Sirius gathered enough of his mind to start moving his lips with a bit more vigor, opening his mouth more and more. Remus caught on swiftly and took Sirius’ bottom lip between his and sucked gently. Sirius couldn’t breathe. Sirius threaded his hands up into Remus’ hair for the first time and nearly cried. His hair was thick and curly, but also soft and silky in his hands. He tightened his fingers ever so slightly, and Remus exhaled a breathy little noise into Sirius’ mouth. Sirius thought he might die.

“Sirius…” Remus was pulling back, and Sirius unconsciously followed him, wanting their lips to keep contact. “ _ Sirius _ ,” Remus said again, like it was the only word he knew, and the only word he’d ever want to say. Sirius opened his eyes to see Remus looking down at him, his eyes half lidded and a slightly dazed look on his face. Sirius brought a hand down to cup his jaw, rubbing his cheek softly.

“Remus, that was...” He laughed and rested his forehead against Remus’, still a little out of breath.

“ _ Fuck,  _ Sirius, why haven’t we been doing that all day?” Remus asked, taking both his hands up to bury in Sirius’ hair. Sirius smiled and leaned in for another kiss.

Their lips slid together, intoxicatingly slow and sweet. Slowly, Sirius opened his mouth and brushed his tongue over Remus’ bottom lip, catching on his lips ring. Remus groaned and opened his mouth in response. Hesitantly, Sirius deepened the kiss even more, slipping his tongue into Remus’ mouth. Remus inhaled sharply and tightened his hands in Sirius’ hair. Their tongues met, and Sirius felt the sparks all the way in his toes. Their mouths slid wetly together, both of them feeling a bit more confident, and Sirius was taken aback at Remus’ skill.

Sirius knew objectively that Remus had been with other boys before, of course, but he hadn’t actually  _ thought _ about it. It made him feel a little amateur. Remus, however, didn’t seem to notice his lack of experience at all. He was languidly and happily snogging Sirius, matching his content noises every few seconds.

Merlin, he was  _ snogging _ Remus, what a thought. Another wave of absolute ecstasy washed over him and he kissed Remus even harder. Remus responded enthusiastically.

Suddenly, Remus was walking Sirius backwards, nearly causing him to trip over his robes. Sirius gasped, back slamming against the wall of the corridor while Remus’ hand cushioned his head. He looked up at Remus, breathing hard, and Remus leaned in to kiss at Sirius’ jaw. Sirius went taught and loose all over his body. He gently tugged at Remus’ hair, pulling him back up into another sloppy kiss.

Remus moved his hands from Sirius’ hair to run over his neck, his shoulders, down his arms. Remus’ hands landed on his chest, and Sirius shuddered at the touch, making embarrassing noises into Remus’ mouth. Remus pressed up even harder against Sirius in a wonderfully intimate way, but Sirius could feel…  _ him _ against his hip.

“R-Remus, Moony,” Sirius gasped out, pulling back. Remus stopped kissing him, and stared into his eyes.

“Fuck, Pads, you’re just… You’re so bloody  _ fit,  _ Sirius,” Remus murmured, looking at Sirius like he was the most amazing thing he’d ever seen. Sirius’ stomach tightened slightly and he ran his hand down Remus’ neck.

“I-I’m not, I… It’s- I-” Sirius huffed in frustration and abruptly yanked Remus into a hug. Remus made a surprised noise but acquiesced, frowning.

“What’s wrong, Padfoot? Is this… alright?” He asked, stopping to wrap his arms around Sirius’ waist. Sirius buried his face in Remus’ neck, suddenly feeling embarrassed and stupid and childish. He wasn’t…  _ not  _ okay with what was happening. The snogging, of course, was wonderful. Heavenly, really, and Sirius never wanted to stop. It was the other stuff that tripped him up. The jaw kissing and the chest touching and the… hip rubbing? It was new. And daunting. Sirius had no clue how to react to any of it or how to talk to Remus about it.

“I’m- We’re… I  _ really  _ like you, Remus,” Sirius ground out. Remus couldn’t help but smile against his shoulder and run his hands soothingly over Sirius back.

“I really like you too, Sirius.” There was a pause as Sirius tried to get his thoughts in order. Remus hesitated and then spoke. “If you… it’s okay if you don’t want to… do anything, Sirius. Or if you’re uncomfortable at all. I won’t be offended or upset with you.” Remus’ hands we’re petting comfortingly over Sirius’ back and, stupidly, Sirius felt like crying. Remus was too kind to him. He sighed into Remus’ skin and tried again.

“It’s not that I don’t… Merlin, I don’t want you to think I have any problem with  _ you _ . It’s all  _ me _ , I just… I’ve never, well, you know. I’ve never  _ anything _ . And it’s just new to me. I’m… I’m not good at this, I’m sorry.” Sirius did his best to suffocate himself in Remus’ neck. How was he already fucking things up within the first ten minutes of them kissing?

“You’re not a problem at all, Sirius,” Remus replied, unfazed, as he dropped a kiss onto his shoulder. “You are free to go as slow or as fast with me as you want. If you never wanted to touch me again, that’d be your decision.” Sirius’ heart clenched in a way he didn’t quite understand. He let out another sigh against Remus’ skin then bit lightly at the exposed skin where Remus’ shoulder met his neck. Remus laughed and fisted his hand in Sirius’ robes. “What’s that for?” Sirius couldn’t help a smile.

“I dunno. You’re sweet.” Sirius really didn’t know what was going on in his head. He just knew that he liked touching Remus, and liked having his mouth on him. Remus laughed again and hit him lightly on the back.

“You bit me because I’m sweet??” He asked incredulously. Sirius just bit him again, harder this time. “Oi,” Remus said, pulling back to look at Sirius mock-sternly. “Don’t start something you can’t finish.” Sirius grinned cheekily at him. Then, making full eye contact, he leaned forward and bit Remus’ lip ring. All of Remus’ breath left him in a rush. Sirius tugged at the ring with his teeth, keeping his eyes on Remus’, before wrapping his lips around Remus’ bottom lip in a soft kiss. Remus made a pained noise in the back of his throat and leaned forward to meet Sirius’ lips in the kiss. Sirius thought he could do this for the rest of his life.

Remus’ tongue brushed questioningly against Sirius’ lips, sweeping softly against them. Sirius sighed and opened his mouth to Remus. Their tongues met again, no less electric than the first time, and Sirius pulled at Remus’ hair happily. Remus groaned at the tug and began snogging Sirius in earnest. Sirius could die happy.

_ Remus _

__ The night was going splendidly in Remus' opinion. He currently had Sirius pinned against the wall with his tongue halfway down his throat; a splendid night indeed.

When he had first kissed Sirius, he‘d done his best to keep it slow and sweet. It had been surprisingly easy to do with Sirius, though, mostly because he just loved the feel of Sirius’ lips against his at any speed. Now, however, he was attempting to snog him into the wall. He licked and sucked and bit at Sirius’ lips, earning him the cutest and most erotic noises he’d ever heard. It didn’t help that Sirius kept making these gasping, almost mewling sounds into Remus’ mouth anytime Remus bit or sucked at his tongue. The sensations were heady, making it all the more difficult to keep his hips angled away from Sirius. Remus wondered if it was possible to pass out from arousal.

When Sirius had stopped and asked Remus to slow down, Remus had kicked himself. He’d completely forgotten that he was likely the first boy Sirius had ever kissed, let alone done anything else with. Not that Remus had even been angling to go further than kissing, but he understood how things could’ve been overwhelming for Sirius. He still felt a little guilty about that.

Right now, Remus was attempting to snog Sirius as thoroughly as possible while staying away from anything with a sexual connotation. The way that Sirius was pulling on his hair, however, was not helpful.

“Sirius,” Remus panted, pulling back to look down at him.

“Unh?” Sirius was looking at him, dazed and more than a little flushed.  _ Fuck.  _ He looked so thoroughly snogged and debauched that Remus had to bite his cheek to keep from groaning aloud. Sirius just blinked at him in question, hands still in Remus’ hair.

“Can I… Would it be okay if I put my hands under your shirt?” Remus’ heart was in his throat asking. He wanted to be conscious of Sirius’ hesitancy, but the idea of touching the skin of Sirius’ chest was driving him mad. Sirius blinked at him again before biting his lip.

“Um… yeah. Yeah, that’d be okay.” He looked unsure and Remus frowned. He put a hand on Sirius’ cheek.

“Are you sure? I don’t- It’s okay to say no, Sirius. I want you to only do what you're comfortable with.” Sirius smiled at him and gave him a soft kiss before looking at him again. Remus relaxed slightly.

“No, I- I want to, I just… might change my mind. Is that alright?” Sirius was toying with Remus’ collar as he asked, and Remus couldn’t hold back a soft smile.

“Of course that’s alright, love,” he said, watching as Sirius’ glance jumped to his face, eyes wide. They both stared at each other, blushing a bit, before Remus looked away, laughing. “Sorry, I just wanted to-” Sirius tugged at his hair.

“Don’t apologize. I thought it was lovely,” he said, grinning. Remus returned his smile and leaned back in. Their lips met, and it was like the first time all over again.

Their kisses were gentle and chaste for a few moments before Sirius started biting at Remus’ lips again. It seemed Sirius enjoyed putting his teeth on Remus, and Remus did not mind one bit.

As their kisses slowly got more and more sloppy, Remus carefully trailed his hands down to Sirius’ waist, slipping under his robes to reach for his white button up shirt. With careful hands, he pulled the shirt out of Sirius’ trousers at the same time that he sucked on his tongue. This got a gasp from Sirius, and Remus grinned into his mouth as he slowly slid his hands under Sirius’ top.

_ Fuck.  _ He‘d thought touching Sirius  _ above _ the clothes was bad? Touching him skin-to-skin was like drinking the nectar of the gods: intoxicating, but too much could burn you up from the inside out. With every touch, Sirius’ body responded and he sighed and gasped into Remus’ mouth.

Just when Remus was about to brush a thumb over Sirius’ nipple and he what reaction _ that  _ got him, Sirius went tense. Before Remus could respond, Sirius yanked away from Remus, grabbing his wrists to pull his hands off him. Remus, startled, immediately stepped back to give him space.

Sirius was pressed against the wall, breathing hard and staring at Remus with wide eyes, his hands still tight around Remus’ wrists. Remus looked back at him in confusion and concern. Blinking rapidly a few times, Sirius swallowed and relaxed a bit, dropping Remus’ hands and looking away.

“F-Fuck, I’m sorry,” Sirius stuttered out. He seemed to be trying to catch his breath, still tense and uncomfortable looking. Remus watched him in concern.

“Sirius?” He asked, unsure of what to say. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. Are you alright?” Sirius seemed to be trying to regain his composure, and Remus wanted to comfort him, but it didn’t seem like Sirius wanted to be touched. He was still staring at the ground.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Remus, I’m sorry. I’m just… bugger, I don’t know.” Sirius’ voice was wavering and he buried his face in his hands, pressing back against the wall. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Remus didn’t know what to do. He wanted desperately to hold Sirius, but instead he took a step back, doing his best to give him room.

“Nothing’s wrong with you, Sirius. You said you might change your mind, and it’s perfectly alright if you did. You don’t… owe me anything, okay? You can tell me to stop touching you whenever you want to. It’s your choice.” Remus hoped to God he was saying the right things. He really wasn’t sure what had gone wrong but Sirius still seemed upset.

Pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes, Sirius lowered his arms and looked at Remus. He looked like he was on the verge of tears and Remus bit his lip. Tentatively, he made a small gesture to offer a hug. Sirius sniffed and stepped into his arms.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius said hoarsely. Remus shook his head. “I got kind of… overwhelmed, and I didn’t want to- I didn’t know what to do.” Sirius' arms were around Remus’ waist and Remus cradled his head with one hand.

“You did the right thing. You can always pull away if I’m touching you in a way you don’t like, yeah?” Sirius nodded and pressed his face into Remus’ shoulder.

“I did like it,” he murmured, sounding a bit embarrassed. “A lot. I just… it got to be a bit much.” Remus nodded again and dropped a soft kiss onto Sirius’ head.

“I understand,” he replied quietly. He took an unsure breath before speaking again. “Sometimes…sometimes it gets that way for me. With the scars.” Sirius sucked in a breath.

“...Yeah?”

“Yeah. I can’t wear certain clothes because it’s really overstimulating, and I start acting batty for no reason.” Sirius huffed a laugh against his shoulder.

“Mm, that’s the feeling. Being batty for no reason is just about my natural state, though,” Sirius joked, turning his head to press his face into Remus’ neck. Remus laughed into his hair, brushing his hand through the strands.

The two of them stayed like that for a bit, Remus petting Sirius’ hair and Sirius breathing into his neck. Eventually, Sirius yawned. Remus craned his neck to look at his face.

“Tired?” He asked, brushing a strand of Sirius’ hair away from his face.

“Mmhm,” Sirius replied sleepily. “You’re so warm, though, I can’t help it.” Remus laughed and bent down to kiss his cheek. Sirius leaned into the touch.

“Want to show me to that dorm room I was supposed to see an hour ago?” Sirius grinned against his neck and pulled back to look at Remus.

“It wasn’t an hour ago,” he huffed. “And are you saying you would have preferred to spend the past hour in the dorm with James rather than in this corridor with me?” He was looking at Remus happily and Remus couldn’t control the grin that broke over his face.

“Of course not, you loon,” he said, flicking Sirius’ ear. “I’m bloody mad for you.” Sirius blinked at him, obviously not having expected that answer. Remus just smiled and kissed him lightly on the nose.

As he was pulling back to gaze at Sirius’ 

sleepy-face for a bit longer, Sirius’ hand shot up to his jaw. Remus paused and looked at him in question. Sirius stared at him for a moment before breaking into a breathtaking smile.

“I’m bloody mad for you too, you bastard.” Sirius pulled him down and Remus quickly consented to another round of snogging.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this met your expectations for the chapter :) comment if you enjoyed or have any questions/constructive criticisms <3


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oops, sorry for ghosting you there for a bit, time has been flying past. This chapter is a little corny and I don’t exactly love it but it’s content lmao. Anyway, thank you all for the lovely comments, I promise I read them even if I can’t work up the energy to respond😭 I was going to put more in this chapter, but I wanted to update ASAP so don’t worry, there will be more coming soon. I hope you enjoy and I love you all <3

**Sirius**

One thing Sirius had figured out was that he loved Remus’ lip ring.  _ Loved  _ it. He loved how it felt when they were simply kissing, loved the feel of it between his teeth when he got bold and bit Remus’ lip, loved the press of it when Remus kissed his cheek and eyes and nose. Sirius couldn’t get enough.

At the moment, Remus' tongue was sweeping through his mouth, leaving tingling nerves in its path. Sirius sighed and hummed, pulling Remus down even further, loving the feeling of being both in his arms and down his throat. He was still up against the wall, Remus pressing solidly against him. The one hand Remus had on his waist clenched every time Sirius did something he liked, and Sirius was experimenting to see what got him to squeeze the hardest. So far hair pulling was winning.

Sirius tugged on Remus’ hair, relishing in the feeling of his fingers digging into his waist. Remus groaned against his skin and pulled back just barely to glare jokingly at Sirius.

“You know exactly what you’re doing, don’t you?” Remus’ voice was gruff and deep and Welsh and Sirius’ heart rate picked up. He raised his chin and gave Remus a taunting look. Remus' eyes darkened and he trailed his hand down from Sirius' hair to his jaw. “Bloody tease.” Sirius smiled at him and turned to bite lightly at his thumb.

“You know you love it,” he said against his finger, tongue sweeping over it as he spoke. Remus looked at him in a way that made him dizzy, then shook his head and laughed. Sirius smiled back at him and trailed his fingers down from his hair to his neck, feeling Remus shiver at the sensation. “How many boys have you been with?” He asked impulsively. Remus blinked at him.

“Oh, I’m not sure,” he said, still holding Sirius solidly in his arms. “Do you mean… been with or  _ been with _ ?” Sirius bit his lip, heart sinking ever so slightly.

“You’ve  _ been with  _ boys?” He asked tentatively. Remus nodded, looking somewhat anxious. “Then both, I guess,” Sirius decided. “How many boys have you been with and how many have you  _ been with _ ?” Remus hummed and drummed his fingers on Sirius’ hip.

“Mm, I’m not really sure. And it depends on your definition of _been with_. I’ve kissed maybe... fifteen boys? And gotten off with six or seven of them. I’ve only fucked two.” Sirius took a breath and the word fuck, and nodded in response. He knew he looked a bit shocked, but he couldn’t help it. He’d known Remus was experienced but he hadn’t expected him to be… so far ahead of Sirius. It made him feel like a foolish, virginal child. Which, he supposed, he was.

Remus put a hand on his cheek and looked at him questioningly, his gaze very soft. Sirius melted a bit, not having realized he’d tensed up.

“Okay,” he said, trying to be confident. “I wasn’t… That’s, I mean, not that you need my approval or that there’s anything to disapprove of, but I… that’s okay.” Remus’ eyebrows inched upward and he took a breath to say something. Sirius quickly spoke again before he could. “I mean, you know I’m not… that experienced. Or experienced at all. But that’s not… I don’t mind.” It still sounded stupid to him and he groaned, avoiding Remus’ eyes. “ _ I mean _ that-”

“Sirius,” Remus said softly, his voice lilting with that Welsh laughing accent of his. Sirius sighed and looked at him again. He was obviously holding back a laugh and Sirius frowned, frustrated. It wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t get his words out or that he hadn’t found someone to be… intimate with. It was just  _ difficult _ with the family he grew up with and all the expectations and stupid, traditional bullshit.

“Sirius, it’s okay if-” Sirius huffed and pulled back and crossed his arms defensively across his chest.

“I’m not a- a blushing virgin. You don’t have to use kid gloves with me, I can handle being talked to like an adult.” Remus’ mouth popped open and he shook his head.

“I wasn’t- I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to treat you like a child. I just wanted- I don’t want you to think that I only want…  _ ugh _ .” Remus rubbed a hand over his face. Sirius’ face spasmed and his feelings wavered, suddenly feeling bad. Shite, Prongs was right, wasn’t he? He  _ was  _ a bloody moody git, always creating problems where there were none. He sighed and ran his hands through his hair, a stupid habit he’d picked up from James.

“I’m sorry,” he said. ”I didn’t mean to snap. I’m just… it’s a hard subject for me, yeah? And I don’t like feeling… out of my depth. I want you to like me.” Remus was looking at him uncertainly, then frowned and reached forward to tentatively hold his waist.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to  _ say _ , Sirius,” he said earnestly. “That I like you, a  _ lot _ , and I couldn’t give two fucks about whether you want my dick or not.” Sirius burst out a surprised laugh, gripping Remus’ forearms and squeezing. Remus looked so sincere and sweet that Sirius couldn’t help but lean forward and kiss him softly on the lips.

“I understand. Thank you for… explaining and, er, yeah. Thanks.” He felt awkward, but rested his forehead against Remus’, who was smiling again and looking at him fondly.

“Anytime,  _ cariad bach _ ,” he murmured, pressing his lips lightly to Sirius.

“What’s that?” He asked against Remus’ lips. “Was that Welsh?” Remus smiled and nodded, kissing him again. Sirius laughed and put a hand on his jaw. “Are you not going to tell me what it means?” Remus smiled and overlapped his hand with Sirius’.

“It doesn’t translate perfectly,” he said quietly, barely an inch from his face. “Vaguely, it means little darling.” Sirius' stomach swooped and he couldn’t help but grin. Could this get any better?

“You’re so cute, Moony,” he said, gazing dopily into Remus’ eyes, and he actually blushed.

“Ac yr ydych yn nefol, fy nghariad,” he responded. He said it so dotingly that Sirius' heart squeezed despite not knowing a word of Welsh.

“Shut up, you Welsh idiot,” he said, grabbing Remus’ collar and pulling him in for another kiss. He did not resist.

_ Remus _

Far too soon after they’d begun kissing again, Sirius’ phone started ringing. Sirius groaned and pulled back, lips red and wet. He looked so gut-wrenchingly gorgeous that Remus missed the first half of his sentence just looking at him.

“-bet that’s James calling to ask if I’ve died?” Sirius griped, rifling through his robes for his phone. Remus swallowed and attempted to gain some composure.

“Well,” he said, clearing his throat, “we  _ have  _ been here for an hour, and I doubt it could plausibly take this long to fetch me from the passage.” Sirius huffed a sigh and pulled his phone out of a random pocket, quickly sliding it open.

“Hi Jamesie,” he chirped, falsely cheerful, and Remus gestured for him to put it on speaker. He did.

“-the fuck are you? I’ve been sitting in the dorm twiddling my fucking thumbs, waiting to go to bed so that I wouldn’t be asleep when you and your sugarplum finally decided to grace us with your presence. So unless you're balls deep in Remus right about now, I’m going to assume you’ve abandoned me for no good-”

“Merlin, shut up! What is wrong with you?!” Sirius’ eyes were wide and he glanced at Remus before looking away, flustered. Remus tried to hide his snicker in his neck, earning a muffled squeal and a hand pulling at his hair. He let Sirius pull him back and laughed at the startled look on his face. Who knew he was so ticklish?

“Is that Remus I hear laughing?” James’ voice came over the phone. “Oi, what did I tell you about putting me on speaker without saying?” Remus snickered again and pulled Sirius to him, resting his chin on his head

“Hullo, James. Balls deep, eh?” Sirius squawked in outrage and James burst out laughing.

“Ha! See, Siri, Remus thought it was funny! It’s just a figure of speech, mate. What’s taking you two so long, anyway?” Remus paused and pulled back to look at Sirius. He shrugged.

“Mm, it’s likely all the snogging, innit, Padfoot?” Sirius’ mouth popped open and he kicked him, laughing silently.

“I- That probably didn’t help, no.” Remus smiled and kissed his cheek, feeling warm at Sirius’ happily embarrassed tone. James just clicked his tongue, unfazed, on the other end of the line.

“About time, yeah? Merlin, if I had to hear another word about ‘Moony’s curls’ and ‘Remus’ hands’ I’d have to-”

“ _ James _ .” Sirius’ cheeks were pink and he glared when he saw Remus’ poorly suppressed smile.

“Well, I wasn’t half wrong about the balls deep bit, was I?” Sirius’ smile dropped and he glowered at his phone.

“ _ Yes _ you were, you prick,” he said, glancing uncertainly at Remus. He just gave a small smile in return.

“Oh, so you’re saying you  _ don’t  _ want-”

“I’m  _ saying  _ if you don’t shut it about the ‘balls deep bit’, I’m going to hex  _ your  _ bits-!”

“It’s not my fault you’re such a randy little-”

“Maybe,” Remus cut in quickly, “we should head up to the dorm?” Sirius huffed in agreement.

“Yeah,” he said, obviously upset, “see you in a bit, Prongs.”

“Yeah, whatever, just-” Sirius clicked the phone off forcefully, still frowning. Remus touched his shoulder then drew him into a hug when he didn’t pull away. He held him as he silently stewed.

He didn’t know why Sirius got so defensive about sexual things, be it because of trauma, inexperience, or something else, but he refused to let it get in the way of their… relationship? Remus had no idea what to call what they were doing. He knew what he  _ wanted _ them to be, but that didn’t mean Sirius wanted the same. Honestly, he’d just take whatever Sirius would offer, whether that was everything or nothing. They were just starting out, though, and Remus wouldn’t make it weird by asking so soon. He put a hand on the back of his head soothingly.

Sirius was breathing much more calmly into his collarbones now, and Remus ran a hand through his hair.

“Are we going back to the dorm or are we going to piss James off for a bit longer?” Sirius sighed and pulled back, looking tiredly at Remus.

“I suppose we should head back,” he sighed. “Curfew’s coming up anyways, and Peeves likes to try and prevent you from getting to your dorm if you’re out right before.” Remus frowned in confusion.

“Peeves?” Sirius smiled at him in another quick change of mood and grabbed his hand to begin walking to the dorm.

“Yeah, he’s a poltergeist that inhabits the school. He’s a real nuisance that no one has been able to get rid of, though I’m not sure they try all that hard. He’s pretty entertaining and kept mostly under control. We definitely don’t want to get caught out by him, though.”

Remus nodded along, enjoying watching Sirius’ face as he talked. Sirius was a very expressive person. He wore his emotions on his face and his heart on his sleeve, and Remus hadn’t realized before today how much he liked that in a guy. He liked that he could tell what he was thinking just by looking at him. He liked that even if Sirius had trouble expressing himself, he always tried and didn’t seem to be the type to let things upset him without mentioning it. He liked that he talked with his hands, even when he was holding Remus’ in his.

He was doing that now, actually, talking about the many portraits lining the walls and swinging Remus’ arm around with every gesture he made. Remus knew he should be paying attention to his surroundings because what other chance was he going to have to see Hogwarts so up close and personal? But he was too enamored by the quiet joy on Sirius’ face as he shared a little bit of his life with Remus.

Sirius glanced over at him, and he attempted to arrange his face into polite interest rather than dopey lovesickness. He didn’t think it worked, though, because Sirius grinned and blushed, tugging Remus to walk closer beside him. Their hands brushed each other’s hips and Sirius got quiet for the first time that day (besides when they were snogging, of course).

They walked in happy silence for a bit, Sirius guiding them through the twisting halls and up two staircases before they stopped in front of a particularly large portrait of a woman.

“Password, lads?” She asked. Her voice was jovial, but she sent a confused glance in Remus’ direction before looking back at Sirius. He just smiled in that cock-sure way he had, and winked. She giggled in response and Remus tightened his grip on Sirius’ hand.

“ _ Dona mihi ostium _ ,” Sirius said confidently, and the portrait swung outwards, narrowly missing smacking Remus in the face. Sirius grinned at him and pulled him through the opening.

Inside was a ridiculously large common room. It was easily the size of the first floor of Remus’ house, and his stomach tightened uncontrollably with envy. This is what he could’ve had. He could’ve come here for 10 months out of every year since he was 11, and actually had friends. He could’ve had a support system that wasn’t just his mother and Alice. He could’ve been  _ happy. _

__ “Moony?” Sirius was looking at him with wide happy eyes and he snapped back into himself. When had sulking ever helped him? He was here now, that’s all that mattered. Plus, he  _ had  _ Sirius now (he hoped), what was he pining for? Wasting time wishing he’d had a better childhood was just that: a waste. He returned Sirius’ smile.

“Well? Where’s this dorm room I’ve been hearing so much about?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments are VERY appreciated. Thank you so much to both those who have commented from the beginning (<3) and those who have binged all the chapters and left me lovely notes. I hope you enjoyed xo


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Am I dragging this out because I don’t want to go back to the texting format, or because I can’t write well for more than 2000 words in a row? The world may never know😌 Enjoy!

_ Remus _

__ “Aren’t you concerned that people in the common room will wonder who I am?” Remus asked as Sirius tugged him up the steps, presumably toward his dormitory. Sirius just scoffed and smiled at him over his shoulder.

“First of all, there’s a ridiculous number of students in this castle. They’ll probably just assume you’re some kid from another house that they don’t know. Second of all, at this point everyone in Gryffindor knows not to question what I or James do, lest they incur our wrath.” He said the second part so seriously that Remus had to laugh.

“ _ Incur your wrath _ ? Who are you, Shakespeare?” He asked as they reached the landing. Sirius looked at him, confused, and stopped in front of the third door on the right.

“And who, exactly, is Shake Pierre? That’s an even stupider name than mine.”

“What? How do you not know who Shakespeare is? He’s  _ Shakespeare _ .” Sirius just shrugged.

“Sounds like a right fool, if you ask me. Has to be, with a name like that.” Remus snorted.

“Yeah, whatever you say  _ Sirius Potter.”  _ Sirius shot him a wry grin.

“Touché.” He reached for the handle in front of him and pushed into the room. Remus hesitated for just a moment before following him in.

The room was extremely spacious, about half the size of the common room. Four large four-poster beds rested in the corners of the room, the headboards all facing the far wall. Each bed had a large chest at the foot and a nightstand at the head. Directly across from the door was a large window that spanned the entire space between the two beds on that wall. The two beds closest to the door had their curtains fully closed, while James lay on the far left bed, silently flipping through a quidditch magazine. He glanced up when Sirius banged in.

“Wotcher, Sirius. Remus. You didn’t happen to see Pete downstairs did you?” Sirius rolled his eyes, kicking a stray birdcage out of his way as he crossed to the far right bed. Remus looked at it quizzically, but ultimately ignored it as he followed Sirius across the room. Sirius fell onto his bed, bouncing lightly, and Remus came to stand beside him.

“The rat never learns, does he? Detention should’ve finished an hour ago, but I’d bet all the dungbombs I’ve got that he’s off with Mary again.” The word ‘rat’ caught Remus off guard, surprised that Sirius would refer to his friend in such a way. Neither boy noticed his confusion.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Either way, I’m off to bed now that you two have made it up,” James said, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and shoving his magazine under it. He glanced up and grinned a tad maniacally at Remus.

“Say, who ended up kissing the other first? I may or may not have a betting pool going.” Remus choked then coughed out a surprised laugh, earning a shove from Sirius.

“Don’t encourage him, Moony! Prongs, you bastard, I’ll never let you know, since you can’t be respectful of my privacy  _ ever. _ ” James did not look at all apologetic. He glanced at Remus, attempting a pleading look.

“It was you, wasn’t it Remus? Just say it was you and I won’t have to bother you two any longer. You can get up to any antics you like and I’ll leave you alone all n-”

“ _ Goodnight,  _ Prongs!” Sirius cut in loudly, waving his wand and causing James’ curtains to snap shut in his face. James cried out in outrage, but Sirius just waved his wand again and there was silence. Remus covered his laughter with a hand and turned to look at Sirius. They burst out laughing together.

“Ergh hush, you,” Sirius said after a big, getting up to push Remus towards to door. “Let’s hurry up and get ready for bed, yeah?” Remus nodded, then paused uncertainly.

“Er,” he said, shifting his weight, “I didn’t exactly plan to stay the night. I don’t have pyjamas or a toothbrush or anything.” Sirius just smiled at him and pulled him towards a door he hadn’t noticed tucked by the entrance to the room. It was a bathroom, a pretty small one for four boys to share in Remus’ opinion. He and Sirius stepped inside, the door clicking shut behind them. Remus frowned.

“Er how do you, James, Peter, and Kingsley all manage to get ready in the morning with such a small bathroom?” He asked as Sirius messed about in the cupboard under the sink. There was only one sink, one toilet, and one shower. Even for the less than luxurious circumstances Remus had grown up with, this was a tight squeeze for four boys. Sirius pulled back from the sink and smiled knowingly at him.

“You really do think like a muggle, Moons,” he said cheerily. “No offense, of course.” Remus hadn’t been offended until Sirius had said that. He shifted his feet restlessly.

“None taken…” Sirius had found an unopened tube of toothpaste under the sink, and was prodding at it with his wand.

“The toilet only holds one of us at once, yes,” he said matter-of-factly. “But when the door closes, someone else can enter the toilet as if there’s no one in it at all.” He said this as if it was the simplest thing in the world. Remus stared.

“What, like there’s multiple bathrooms at once?” He asked slowly. “In the same spot but holding different people?” Sirius nodded, then held up the toothpaste he had transfigured into a toothbrush triumphantly.

“Exactly!” He happily handed his creation off to Remus. “Here you are, Mr. Moony. You can go ahead and brush your teeth while I grab you some pyjamas, yeah?” Remus hesitated, then nodded, taking the toothbrush.

“Think you have any that fit me? I am, like, a foot taller than you.” Sirius looked at him, scandalized. Remus bit his tongue to hide his smile

“ _ Not _ a foot, you tosser! More like a few inches.  _ Maybe. _ ” Remus gave him a mocking once over.

“A few inches, _bach_? Our height difference is a bit more than a few inches.” Sirius fought his smile down, and pushed past him to the door.

“Yeah, well, see if I find you clothes that actually fit you  _ now _ , arsehole.” Remus blew him a sarcastic kiss as he slipped out the door, then turned back to the sink. He tried to force the smile off his face.  _ Purebloods. _

**Sirius**

Sirius had just finished magically altering a pair of James’ clean pyjamas when he heard the bathroom door open. He quickly stuffed the larger pyjamas under his covers and grabbed a pair of his from first year. Insult his height and this is what you got.

“So about this magical, law defying bathroom of yours…” Remus trailed off when he saw the bedclothes in his hands. Sirius suppressed his grin as Remus' eyebrows crept upwards. “Er, Sirius?” He could hardly contain his glee.

“Yes, Remus?” Remus met his eyes, and he paused before just giving him a lopsided smile.

“Thanks for the pyjamas.” He leaned in and kissed Sirius on the cheek, taking the bedclothes from his hand. Sirius blinked then glared as Remus pulled back.

“You’re no fun, you know that?” Remus laughed and reached to tug lightly on a lock of his hair.

“You’re just too easy to read, Padfoot. You give it all away” Sirius glowered and crossed his arms.

“Fine, have fun fitting into your pyjamas then.” Remus just looked at him, obviously trying to read if he was being serious or not. He was still holding the comically small pair of pyjamas. “Go on,” Sirius goaded, lifting his chin and adopting his frostiest Black stare. Remus blinked at him, then laughed a bit nervously.

“Wow, okay, what was that?” He stepped forward to take Sirius’ hand, who quickly dropped the expression.

“Didn’t expect that, hm? You can only read me because I let you.” Sirius grinned at Remus’ startled expression and pulled him in for a kiss. Remus went willingly, but after a moment he pulled back to look him in the eye, frowning.

“I don’t like you like that,” he said, almost sounding concerned. His thumb was rubbing sweetly against his hand and Sirius squeezed back lightly. “I prefer you all smiley and easy to read.” Sirius couldn’t help but smile at that.

“I don’t like me like that either; that’s why I’m not, most of the time,” Sirius told him, putting his other hand on Remus’ chest. Remus gave him a smile and he quickly narrowed his eyes in a mockingly stern way. “But, of course, it is an ability of mine that you should always be aware of and intimidated by.” Remus laughed and kissed Sirius lightly on the nose.

“Of course, I’m very intimidated,” he intoned, looking like he was trying very hard not to make a short joke. Sirius appreciated it. “Can I have my actual pyjamas now? I don’t think I’d even be able to get the ones you gave me over my head.” Sirius sighed dramatically and pulled back to rummage under the covers for the pyjamas he had altered.

“I  _ suppose _ ,” he sighed, turning to hand them off to Remus. “Just no more shots at my height or I may have to rescind my generous offer.” Remus rolled his eyes and turned back towards the bathroom.

“I’m terrified,” he called over his shoulder sarcastically. Sirius just shook his head at Remus’ retreating form and waited for the bathroom door to click closed before quickly changing into his own pyjamas.

He felt like he should be more nervous than he was. He was, of course, very excited to keep spending time with Remus, and anticipatory for when he would propose that they sleep in the same bed. However, he didn’t feel at all anxious about it. He… trusted Remus. And trusted that he’d be okay being so close with someone who wasn’t James. He really hoped that this went somewhere other than just back to texting and pining. He didn't think he’d be able to survive getting a taste of Remus and nothing more. The bathroom door opened.

“Do these have little snitches on them?” Remus stepped out of the bathroom, his hair damp for some reason. He was looking down at his clothes and fingering the snitches that were lazily flapping their wings against his chest. Sirius' heart stuttered. Remus looked up, sweetly confused, and smiled when he saw Sirius. Sirius quickly crossed the room.

“Yep,” he said, tugging at Remus’ collar to make it sit correctly. “They’re James’, what do you expect?” Remus hummed, pulling awkwardly at his collar once Sirius finished with it.

“Are pyjamas supposed to have collars?” He asked. “None of mine do.” Sirius clicked his tongue at the mess Remus was making of his handiwork, unable to suppress the urge for neatness that his parents had grilled into him.

“Yes, they’re supposed to have collars you Neanderthal,” he sniped, slapping Remus’ hands away from his neck. “And they aren’t supposed to look like  _ that. _ ”Remus laughed and took his hands, putting them around his waist and away from his collar.

“Aren’t you being a little anal about what  _ my  _ collar looks like for someone whose shirt was halfway falling off this afternoon?” Remus teased, tucking his hair behind his ear. Sirius rolled his eyes.

“I was trying to  _ seduce  _ you, Moony. Try to keep up.” This got a loud laugh from Remus, who automatically covered his mouth and snorted into his hand. “Not fair!” Sirius exclaimed, pulling his hand away. “I like seeing your laugh, tosser, stop covering it up.” Remus laughed again, much quieter and gave Sirius a quick kiss.

“Okay, okay, my sincerest apologies,” he said. “Although I’ll have to say your seducing skills need a bit of work.” Sirius stuck his tongue out.

“I’d say they worked well enough, wouldn’t you?” He grabbed the hem of Remus’ shirt and pulled him closer. Remus smiled and put a hand to his cheek.

“Sure, though I did most of the heavy lifting.” His thumb was moving over Sirius' cheek in an unfairly distracting way, and he frowned up at him.

“You may have been the one to kiss me first, but I  _ seduced  _ you into it,” Sirius joked, sliding his hands over Remus’ waist. Remus was looking at him with half lidded eyes, one hand in his hair and one on his jaw.

“Mm, I suppose you did,” he said quietly, leaning in closer. “Then I guess I have you to thank for  _ this _ ?” He closed the small distance between them, kissing him for the 32nd time that night (not that Sirius was  _ counting  _ or anything). Sirius sighed into it, melting against Remus. Would he ever tire of kissing him? Quite honestly, he expected he could do this for the rest of his life. Unfortunately, James did not feel the same way.

“Alright, lovebirds, break it up,” he crowed, leaning out of his drapes. Sirius startled, Remus barely catching him before he tripped backwards. He quickly righted himself and turned to glare at James who shot him a wink.

“I said I’d give you two privacy  _ if  _ you told me who kissed who first,” he said, looking far too pleased with himself. “However, you refused, so I had to eavesdrop to figure it out  _ and  _ interrupt you.” Sirius flushed angrily while Remus just bit his lip, hiding a smile.

“You’ve been listening the entire time, you nasty perv?” He asked, shaking his wand out of his sleeve. James laughed and winked again, snapping his curtains shut before Sirius’ hex could hit him. Remus’ hand returning to his jaw was the only thing that prevented him from going to murder the wanker. He turned back, pouting up at him. Remus just smiled serenely in response.

“Ready for bed?” He murmured, petting his hair gently. Sirius sighed and glared at him half heartedly.

“I know what you’re doing,” he grumbled. “And I want you to know it’s only working because I’m letting it.” Remus nodded understandingly.

“Of course,” he said patronizingly. “Only because you let me.” Sirius kicked him, suppressing a smile.

“Shut up and come to bed before I leave you out in the cold, hm?” He pulled Remus’ hands down from his face to tug him toward his bed. Remus indulged him, letting himself be pulled across the room.

“So we’re… sharing a bed?” Remus sounded tentative and Sirius glanced over in surprise. He’d assumed that since Remus was so much more experienced that he wouldn’t bat an eye at sleeping in the same bed as Sirius. Maybe he should’ve asked first. He bit his lip.

“I… That was the plan but if you don’t want to-”

“No!” Remus said. Sirius blinked at him and he bit his lip. “I mean… no, I- I don’t mind. I’d like to sleep with- er, in the same bed as you.” Sirius was surprised to see Remus stumbling over his words. Of course, he had stumbled over his words plenty of times on the phone, but so far in person he’d seemed very sure of himself. Maybe… Maybe he was opening up a bit more. Sirius liked the idea of that, and he grinned up at Remus.

“Come along, then.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment and I’ll sell you my soul at a discounted price <3


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m back :) I lost my mojo a bit for this story, but it’s slowly coming back. Don’t worry, I won’t abandon it

**Sirius**

Sirius’ bed was not exactly large enough to hold two fully grown boys, especially one that was over six foot.

“Erm, Moony, you’re kinda on my arm,” Sirius whispered into the darkness. After they had both climbed in, he’d waved his wand at the lights and tugged the curtain closed. Now, they were laying side by side, which was fine, except his arm was completely under Remus’. He shifted restlessly.

“Oh, sorry, hold on,” Remus’ voice came, minty breath brushing over Sirius’ nose. He was much closer than Sirius had expected, and he laughed nervously as Remus maneuvered into a more comfortable position that wasn’t more comfortable at all. Somehow Remus’ elbow landed in his stomach and he hissed, rolling away.

“Moons, why are you so  _ tall? _ ” He whined.

“Oh, I’m sorry my height is such an inconvenience for you, Padfoot,” Remus laughed, turning onto his back. “Come on, let’s just- here, like this.” Remus gently took Sirius’ arms, and pulled him closer. He maneuvered so Sirius had his head pillowed on Remus’ chest, all warm and soft, as Remus pulled the covers over his shoulders. “Better?” He asked quietly. It was better. In fact, it was wonderful. Remus’ borrowed pyjamas were soft under his cheek and his breathing was steady and even. Sirius sunk into his arms, nestling his head against his collarbones.

“Yes, much,” he whispered. Maybe there were perks to Remus being so tall after all. He was very sturdy beneath Sirius, and it was easy for Sirius to mold his body to his. He felt very safe alone in his bed with him. Remus hummed happily. 

“Are you sleepy yet?” His hand was once again in Sirius’ hair; he didn’t know if it was because  _ he  _ enjoyed it or because he thought Sirius did, but Sirius was not complaining. He wrapped his legs around Remus’.

“Not quite. Every time I think I’m tired, something else exciting happens.” Remus’ chuckle rumbled through his chest.

“And how many times was I that ‘something exciting’?” Sirius grinned into his chest and shimmied up so he could get up closer to Remus’ face. He frowned into the dark.

“Where are you?” He carefully patted his way up Remus’ chest, nearly sticking a finger up his nose. Remus laughed again and grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together.

“Come up here,” he said quietly, pushing lightly on Sirius’ shoulder. Sirius levered onto one arm and crawled up so he was somewhere above Remus’ head.

“Hold on,” Sirius grunted, reaching over Remus to scrabble for his wand on the bedside table. Remus’ hands came up to his waist, steadying him and Sirius shivered at the touch. He pulled back through the curtains and waved his wand. “Lumos,” he whispered, hovering over Remus. Remus’ face was washed in light, and he flinched slightly away from the sudden brightness. It gave Sirius a moment to study him as he squeezed his eyes shut.

Remus really was pretty. He wasn’t as classically beautiful as Sirius, but he liked it better that way. He liked Remus rugged and scarred and worn around the edges; it made him even more handsome than he already was. Not that he put much stock in looks, of course. People were always telling Sirius how pretty he was, and he was all kinds of fucked up, so it really couldn’t tell all that much about a person.

Remus’ scars were shining silvery in the wandlight, and Sirius bit his lip. He carefully set his wand down beside him on the bed so the light wasn’t muffled and sat back on his heels. Remus sat up straighter, fluffing the pillows behind him to support himself. He smiled softly at Sirius and opened his arms. Sirius quickly moved forward and repositioned so they were sitting side by side, and Remus tucked him carefully under one arm. Sirius turned to place his hand on his cheek.

“Do you mind if I…” He trailed off as his thumb brushed carefully over the scar bridging Remus’ nose. He glanced up from his nose and saw Remus staring at him. He gave Sirius a small smile and nodded minutely. Sirius returned the smile and continued his movements.

The air between them was crystalline with a soft sort of tension. It felt like spiderwebs were clinging to them both, and one wrong move could wreck the whole thing. Entranced, Sirius brushed his fingers over every inch of Remus’ face, hands tingling.

The scars weren’t as rough as they looked. In fact, the skin was glossy and soft despite also being raised and taught. Remus’ breath stuttered slightly when Sirius’ fingernail caught gently on the edge of a scar, and Sirius swallowed. He carefully ran his thumb away from his nose and up the arch of his cheekbones. Remus’ eyes fluttered closed when his fingers drifted over his eyelashes and smoothed over his eyebrows. He traced the arch of his nose down, and let his thumb come to rest lightly on his Cupid’s bow.

Remus’ eyes blinked lazily back open and he met Sirius’ eyes as he tugged his thumb over Remus’ full bottom lip. Remus sighed through his nose, the breath gusting over Sirius’ hand, and gently bit the thumb resting on his lip. Sirius laughed and moved his thumb to lean down and kiss him lightly on the lips. The kiss was chaste and sweet and Remus pulled away after a moment to cradle his face in a hand.

“You are so lovely, Sirius,” he murmured, eyes roving fondly over his face. Sirius' heart beat a lovesick rhythm in his chest and his intestines twisted happily. He couldn’t subdue the laugh bubbling up his throat, and he laughed against the heel of Remus’ hand. “Oi, what? I thought that was a nice compliment,” Remus said, leaning to catch his eye. Sirius’ heart melted and he gave Remus another light peck.

“You know that’s the same compliment you paid me when you were drunk off your arse?” Sirius watched as Remus smiled, and noticed how one of his canines dug into his lip as he did. It was heartachingly cute.

“I wanted to say so much more than just ‘you’re lovely’, you know, but Alice was on the warpath about parting me from my phone.” Sirius chuckled and rubbed his thumb over the corner of Remus’ smile.

“It was probably for the best, eh? Seeing as you were pissed enough to type  _ Pissfoot  _ instead of Padfoot,” Sirius teased. Remus snorted and leaned forward to rest his head against Sirius’. Sirius crossed his eyes to look at him.

“It all turned out well in the end, though, didn’t it?” His lips fluttered over Sirius’ cheek as he spoke, sending a wave of affection through him.

“Mm,” he hummed, his mind wandering back to earlier that day. He pulled back a bit to look at Remus seriously. “I’m glad you came back.” Remus blinked at him, then smiled that lopsided smile.

“Me too.” They watched each other steadily for a moment, and Sirius’ eyes flicked over Remus’ scars again. He bit his lip.

“Would you like to… talk more about it?” He asked softly. Remus frowned at him.

“Talk more about what?” Sirius ran his thumb over Remus' cheek slowly. He didn’t want to upset him, and his… werewolf problem seemed to be a really touchy issue. He was quite curious, though, and he wanted to learn more about Remus. It didn’t hurt to ask.

“Your…” The trepidation must have been clear in his voice because a look of realization came over Remus’ face and he glanced down to his lap.

“My lycanthropy,” he said quietly. Sirius paused.

“Is that… the name for it?” Remus huffed out a quiet laugh, and looked back at him. He hesitated then carefully leaned in for a quick kiss. Sirius met him and their lips moved together sweetly for a moment before Remus pulled back again. He looked at Sirius uneasily then sighed.

“Yeah… Lycanthropy is the, er, scientific name, if you will,” he told him in a low voice. He seemed to be aware of the other boys in the room and was keeping his voice down. Sirius nodded, gazing at him in a manner that he hoped was encouraging. “And…” he trailed off, then sighed frustratedly. “I don’t know, Padfoot, what do you want to know?” This was obviously a hard subject for him, Sirius thought, and he was worrying anxiously at the corner of his mouth with that same canine. Sirius put his thumb gently against his mouth.

“Remus.” He looked over at Sirius with conflicted eyes, though they softened considerably when they met his. “It’s okay, I don’t… I’m  _ asking _ , I want to know, and anything you say isn’t going to turn me away,” he said as reassuringly as he could. “I’d like to know as much as you want to say. As much or as little as you’re okay with. All of it, if you want. The good, the bad, and the ugly.” He have Remus a sardonic smile. “Not that there’s much ugly about you. Nothing all, actually.” He met Remus’ eyes and gently pulled him in for a few more kisses. Remus sighed again and gave in.

They snogged slowly for a few minutes, Remus’ tongue making him tingle as usual. Eventually, Remus pulled back, going back for a few chaste kisses before pulling away fully. He leaned forward and buried his face in Sirius’ neck, his arms coming down around his waist. Sirius liked being the one holding for once, rather than being held.

“I just… I- I don’t know what to say,” he said, his voice muffled. ”I don’t know where to start. It’s- I dunno, it’s just my  _ life _ , and sometimes it’s hard to tell how different, exactly, I am from everyone else. I don’t particularly have a lot of friends to build a frame of reference.” Sirius nodded slowly, bringing a hand up to thread through his curls.

“Okay…” he said carefully. “But you said… you said the transformations were painful?” A stuttered nod against his shoulder. “And you said you were really young when you first turned?” Another nod. Sirius frowned. “Did it alway hurt? Even when you were little?” Remus pressed his nose into his shoulder for a moment before responding.

“I don’t really remember it, but… kind of?” He replied. “They weren’t quite as bad, though, not as excruciating as they are now.” Sirius cringed at the word ‘excruciating. “Although, I didn’t beat myself up nearly as bad as I do now that I’ve hit puberty.” Sirius swallowed an alarmed noise.

“Beat yourself up?” He asked, doing his best to keep the horror out of his voice. Remus stayed quiet for a moment, squeezing his waist lightly.

“I don’t want to alarm you, or make you worry about me or anything,” he finally murmured. Sirius frowned, hand tightening in his hair.

“Remus, it sounds  _ awful _ . Of course I’m going to worry about you, whether you tell me all about it or not. I’d just prefer to be fully informed rather than anxiously considering all the horrific possibilities on moon nights.” Remus made a noise and pulled his head back to look at Sirius.

“You’ll… worry about me on moon nights?” Sirius made a face.

“Don’t be an idiot, idiot, of course I bloody will! Tearing yourself a-fucking-part, and you think I’ll just be having a calm evening in? Brew a cuppa and turn in early?” Remus blinked.

“You- you shouldn’t worry so much,” he said unconvincingly, a tiny smile peeking through his concerned face. Sirius rolled his eyes and gently pressed him back into his arms.

“C’mere, lie back down,” he coaxed, shifting more onto his back so Remus really was lying on him. He was a large man, but Sirius loved feeling the weight on him against him. “I like holding you.” Remus laughed quietly and nuzzled himself back into the crook of Sirius’ neck.

“I like being held by you,” he rumbled. Sirius had somewhat gotten used to his deep voice, but every so often it pitched even lower and he adored it. He sighed happily when he fully settled in and put his hand back in his hair.

“So… you beat yourself up?” Remus grunted and turned his head so his eyes were still pressed against Sirius’ neck, but his mouth was free to talk.

“Yeah, I do. Or, no, the wolf does. I think it’s because it’s got nothing to hunt or kill so it turns on itself instead, the barmy son of a bitch.” Remus gave a humorless laugh and Sirius frowned into his hair.

“And the scars are from the wolf being a bastard, not the transformations?” Remus nodded. Sirius hummed and pet his hair thoughtfully. “So, hypothetically, if you could calm the wolf down or give it something interesting to do, you wouldn’t get as hurt…” Remus huffed into his neck and propped himself up on his arms to frown at Sirius.

“What are you planning?” Sirius pet his hair soothingly.

“I’m not planning anything, I’m just brainstorming-”

“Look, Padfoot, I appreciate it but I don’t need a solution. It sucks, but it’s my life; I just have to live with it.” His tone was resigned and vaguely annoyed. Sirius frowned at him.

“What about sedating you? Have you ever even tried-”

“ _ Sirius _ .” His tone was severe, and he sighed at Sirius’ startled glance. “I’m sorry, I just… Of course I’ve tried. I’ve tried everything: sedation, chaining myself up, being roomed with small animals, deep sleep potions,  _ everything. _ I’ve come to accept it, and brainstorming more ideas is just a waste of time and a good way to falsely get my hopes up.” Sirius stared at him, slightly taken aback. This was the most… impassioned he’d ever heard Remus speak, and he didn’t particularly like it. He swallowed before speaking again.

“None of it worked? At all?” He whispered. He just had to know for sure whether or not he could do anything to help him. Remus just shook his head.

“The small animal thing kind of worked, but…” He trailed off, looking sad and disgusted. Sirius made a questioning noise and tapped his fingers lightly on his scalp. Remus shook his head slightly. “I couldn’t stomach killing those…” He trailed off again, looking sick. “It barely even helped, anyway, and I couldn’t bear to keep terrorizing and slaughtering innocent animals,” he finally whispered. He was looking down at Sirius’ collarbones, but his mind was clearly elsewhere. Sirius brought a hand down from his hair to his cheek.

“Remus,” he murmured. Remus looked up and met his eyes. “I’m sorry for bringing it up.” Remus scrunched up his face and leaned in to kiss him lightly on the lips.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Pads,” he murmured against his lips. “Nothing at all. I just… don’t know how to talk about this.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Sirius replied, talking into the corner of his mouth. “I just wanted to know more about you, and your… what, lycanthropy?” Remus chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, your lycanthropy is part of that. A part of you. And if you haven’t noticed, I am just a  _ tad _ smitten.”

“Smitten, are you?” Remus teased, biting lightly at his lip. Sirius grinned and pulled him down to lay against him. He yawned against Remus’ shoulder.

“Urgh, okay, as much as I love talking to you, I  _ am  _ pretty tired,” he murmured, Remus’ weight making him even sleepier. Remus hummed into his neck.

“Quite the day, hm? What with meeting, a surprise werewolf reveal, nearly tackling James multiple times, talking to Regulus, and  _ snogging _ . I’d say you deserve a little rest.” Sirius stomach sank a bit at the mention of Reggie (he really did need to figure out what his family was planning), but he mostly agreed. He sighed into Remus’ hair.

“Mm, yes I think it’s bedtime. Dunno where my wand is, though.” He didn’t particularly feel like reaching for it (Remus was  _ very  _ comfy) but he didn’t need to. Remus arched up a little, and used his long limbs to drag the wand over to Sirius. Sirius hummed his thanks, noxing his lumos, and turned his arm awkwardly to stuff the wand under his pillow. The bed fell into darkness and Remus shifted so he was more comfortably laying against Sirius. He sighed into his neck.

“I don’t really want today to be over,” he murmured, “but I suppose this is goodnight.” He sounded pretty sleepy himself. Sirius chuckled and pressed a kiss into his hair. He understood now why Remus kept doing it to him; it was intoxicating.

“Don’t worry, Moony, we always have tomorrow.” After that, the room was quiet and Sirius and Remus drifted off tangled up together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The more you comment the more likely I am to enjoy continuing this story ;) jk, but seriously, I love hearing from y’all


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If y’all have any suggestions or desires for where you want this story to go, please let me know! Right now I’m just kinda going chapter by chapter without any big plans.

_Remus_

Light filtered through a gap in the heavy curtains of Sirius' bed, a shaft falling directly over Remus’ eyes. He groaned and blearily blinked his eyes open, then quickly threw an arm over his eyes. He rolled out of the way of the ray, nearly crushing Sirius doing so. He sucked in a sharp breath and rolled away onto his stomach, looking over to see Sirius still dead asleep.

He was laying on his back, mouth slightly open and breath coming in steady puffs. Remus just looked at him for a few moments, smiling. A month ago, he wouldn’t have believed this at all. The idea that he was in bed with a beautiful boy, at _Hogwarts_ , nonetheless, was somewhat ludicrous. He suddenly felt the urge to touch Sirius, to make sure it was still all real.

Gently, he leaned forward and placed a kiss on Sirius’ temple. As he did so, his nose bumped a bit roughly against Sirius’ cheek. Sirius made a noise and turned, slowly blinking his eyes open to look at Remus. He looked at him in confusion for a moment before a sleepy smile took over his face.

“Oh, Moony,” he rasped. “I forgot you were here.” He reached out and grabbed onto Remus’ top and pulled him closer. “What time is it?” Remus shrugged.

“No clue, Pads.” Sirius made a grumpy noise and poked Remus in the stomach.

“Tempus charm.” His eyes were closing again, and Remus started to pull back to reach for his wand on the nightstand. Sirius grunted and pulled him closer again. “No, use mine,” he grumbled. Remus paused for a moment before remembering his wand was stuffed under the pillow. He reached for the wand under the pillow, careful not to jostle Sirius’ head too much. The wand felt odd in his hand, but his magic flowed through it well enough. He cast a quick tempus charm.

“It’s 7am, Padfoot,” he said. Sirius groaned loudly and pulled him down by his shirt.

“Bastard, come back to bed,” he said. “7 is a stupid time to wake up.” He was manhandling Remus into laying down so he could put his head on his chest. Remus laughed and went willingly. 

“Don’t you get up earlier than this for school? And for quidditch?” Sirius snuffled himself against Remus’ chest and kicked him lightly with his feet under the covers.

“It’s _Sunday,_ Moony,” he groaned. “It’s illegal to get up before ten on Sunday’s.” Remus chuckled and put a hand on Sirius’ head.

“Illegal, is it?” He asked. Sirius just grumbled sleepily. “And what about James who’s probably already up and at ‘em?” Sirius didn’t reply. Remus craned his neck to look down at him. “Sirius?”

“Mnmmph,” was the only reply he got. He sighed and continued to pet Sirius’ hair. He still had his wand in his other hand and he twirled it for a moment before summoning his phone. It flew through the curtains and Remus quickly dropped Sirius’ wand to catch it. He was about to try yet again to power up his phone in a futile attempt to stave off boredom, but then he heard the dorm door clatter open. Minding Sirius’ sleeping form, he carefully pulled back a portion of the curtains. James was struggling through the door in full quidditch gear.

“Oi, Prongs,” he hissed. James looked over from where he was peeling off his kit.

“Wotcher, Moony!” He crowed in response. Remus quickly shushed him and James rolled his eyes. “Please, if you’re worried about Sirius, he could sleep through a bomb going off.” He kicked off his trainers and crossed to Sirius’ bed. “What d’you need?”

“I have a feeling I’ll be stuck here with Padfoot sleeping for a while,” he explained, “and I was wondering if you could cast whatever charm it was that makes phones work at Hogwarts?” James chuckled and held his hand out. Remus automatically handed his phone over.

“Sirius got you trapped, eh?” He asked, tapping away at his phone with his wand. Remus watched, intrigued by the odd combination of spells James was muttering under his breath. “He’ll sleep until one if you let him, so be careful of that.” James made a triumphant noise and Remus’ phone screen lit up. He handed Remus back his phone and clapped him on the arm. “Enjoy, mate!” He said and turned back to his bed.

“Thanks, James,” he called, and James raised a hand in acknowledgement as he walked back to his side of the room. Remus let the curtains fall and repositioned Sirius gently. He leaned back against the pillows and slid his phone open.

*2 missed calls from: Alice. 3 new texts from: Alice*

* * *

5:14pm

**Are you still out?**

* * *

8:56pm

**You’re spending the night??**

**Answer me, bastard**

Remus rolled his eyes and toyed with his phone for a moment before sighing.

* * *

7:16am

_Hi Ally_

**Remus John Lupin you dirty dog**

_What are you on about_

**Found a way to get your end away, hm?**

_Ugh Alice you’re the worst_

_It’s not like that and you know it_

**And why not**

**Are you saying you didn’t want to?**

_I met him yesterday_

_I’m not going to throw myself at him after a day_

**God**

**Goody two shoes Remus strikes again**

_What, because I respect him enough to not try to fuck him after only 24 hours?_

**Because you are both obviously gagging for it and you’re doing no one any good by not even touching him**

_Who said I didn’t touch him?_

**??**

_;)_

**Spill this instant**

_Why should I, pushy?_

**Because I will kill you dead**

_Mmhm_

_Well_

_I may or may not have kissed him_

**!!!**

**And he kissed you back??**

_Yes_

_Very much so_

**You are so the worst**

**You couldn’t have led with that??**

_Dunno_

_This seemed more fun_

_Plus you had to start on about me getting my end away_

**Wait**

**So you’ve kissed him**

_Yes_

**And he kissed you back**

_Yes_

**And you still didn’t stick it on him?**

_You’re crass_

_No I didn’t_

**You know that thing I said about being a goody two shoes?**

_Well_

_I mean_

**You mean?**

_I kind of did try_

_But he didn’t really seem into it_

**What**

**You put the moves on him and he wasn’t into it**

_Yep_

**What’s wrong with him, you’re hot**

_Shut up_

**I’m serious**

**Are you sure you tried all that hard?**

_I really don’t think he wanted me to try all that hard_

_Besides, I’m pretty sure I was his first kiss so no need to push it_

**Blimey isn’t he 18??**

**He’s a year over age and hasn’t even been snogged**

_I mean he has now_

**Well** **_yeah_ ** **I know that**

**Is he a prude?**

_Why are you being rude?_

_Haven’t_ **_you_ ** _only ever been with Frank? I don’t think you’re one to talk_

**Yeah but I’ve fucked Frank**

_After you’d been dating for how long?_

**…**

**Touché**

_Exactly_

_Give us some time, yeah?_

**Yeah yeah**

**I just want you to be happy**

_Happy doesn’t have to include sex_

**Doesn’t it?**

_I dunno, it’s kinda nice taking things slow with him_

_Fuck, I’m talking as if we’ve been dating for ages_

_I’m talking as if we’re even_ **_dating_ **

**You’re not dating?**

_I dunno_

**You dunno??**

_Snogging doesn’t necessarily mean boyfriends, does it?_

**If it did you would’ve had like 10 boyfriends by now**

_Exactly_

_I haven’t worked up the courage to ask him_

**You know, you’re incredibly cowardly for a dark beast**

_You know, you’re incredibly bitchy for a 5’5” girl_

**Yet I could take you in a fight any day**

_Keep dreaming_

**You wouldn’t know what hit you**

_Yeah whatever, can we get back on topic?_

_Do I say something before I leave or just text him about it when I get home?_

**Say something now, coward**

_He’s asleep right now_

**Wake him up**

_I am not going to wake him up just to ask him if we’re dating or not_

**Why**

_That’s so juvenile_

**Or you’re just scared**

_Shut it, wench_

_I just see no reason to rush anything_

**You see no reason to rush sex, no reason to rush figuring out what you two are**

**What DO you want to rush**

_This conversation_

**Really, Remus, you should go into comedy**

_I’m hilarious_

**You’re a child**

**Go wake your boyfriend up and have an adult conversation for once, yeah?**

_Not my boyfriend_

_But_

_Maybe_

**Not your boyfriend** **_yet_ **

_I don’t think he wanted to be woken up before 10 though_

**Even to snog?**

_Dunno_

**Go try**

_Maybe_

_Wait, how did you even know I was going to spend the night last night_

**You didn’t answer your phone so I called your house and your mom told me you’d texted to say you were spending the night**

_Stalker_

**Wimp**

_It’s a tough conversation to have, okay?_

**Well I am not going to enable your avoidance so I am saying goodbye until you have that conversation**

_What_

_No_

_Alice_

_Aliceeeeeeeee_

_You are terrible_

**xoxo**

_fuck u_

* * *

Remus groaned and clicked out of iMessage. Realistically, he thought Sirius would say yes to being his boyfriend, but _shite_ if it wasn’t scary. He looked down at the boy asleep in his lap and smiled. It would be worth it though, despite how anxiety inducing it was.

Remus laid back against the pillows and settled in to bury a few hours in his phone. 

**Sirius**

Sirius swam into consciousness with the feel of soft lips against his cheek. He fluttered his eyes open and blinked sleepily at Remus before giving him a small smile.

“Hi,” he whispered. Remus kissed him lightly on the lips. His stomach swooped happily.

“Hello,” he murmured. He pulled back and just looked at Sirius for a long moment, rubbing his thumb along his jaw. Sirius sighed happily and leaned into his hand.

“What time is it?” He asked dazedly.

“It’s 10,” Remus said, still gazing fondly at him. Sirius bit his lip against a smile.

“You really waited three hours to wake me up?” Remus shrugged, jostling Sirius a bit. Sirius levered into a sitting position and Remus matched him. Sirius shifted so that his legs were thrown over Remus’ lap, but he was sitting to the left of him. Remus put a hand on his knee and laced his left hand through Sirius’ right.

“You said it was illegal and who knows, it could’ve been true,” he joked. “I don’t know all that much about wizard laws.” Sirius rolled his eyes and squeezed his hand.

“You are absolutely ridiculous,” he smiled. He leaned in to kiss him, but Remus put a hand on his ribcage.

“I’ve got terrible morning breath, you really don’t want to kiss me.” Sirius huffed and leaned back, patting around the bed.

“Where’s my wand?” He asked, slipping his hand under the pillows. Remus made a noise and reached over him to the other side of the bed. “Oh, thanks!”

“Sorry, I used it to summon my phone earlier,” he said, handing Sirius his wand. Sirius just smiled and settled back down.

“Here, breath freshening charm,” he grinned. Remus burst out a laugh and Sirius put a finger to his lips to silence him. He tapped Remus’ lips and then his own with the wand before shoving it back under the pillow. “There, all better.” He leaned back in and this time Remus happily complied.

They kissed slowly for a few minutes before Sirius began nipping and biting at Remus’ lips and tongue. Remus huffed into his mouth and upped the intensity in return. Gently, he brought his hand up to Sirius’ jaw and tilted his head back, granting him better access. Sirius sighed as Remus’ tongue swept deeper into his mouth, sending an array of tingles all over his body. He dug his fingers into his chest, sitting up straighter to deepen the kiss.

Remus licked hotly into his mouth, and for a moment Sirius felt exceedingly bold. He considered throwing caution to the wind and straddling him; that’d be fun, wouldn’t it? He thought of Remus’ reaction, how he might enjoy it. That was almost reason enough to do it. Remus groaned and shifted to pull him closer, and it occurred to him that that might make for an uncomfortable situation. Remus seemed to be getting more and more into it now, making noises into his mouth that Sirius tried his best to match.

Fuck, sometimes he just wished he could turn off his brain. Why did he have to be so analytical, why couldn’t his head just shut up and let him enjoy Remus’ presence? Oh, fuck it, maybe Remus would be the distraction he needed. Sirius took a bracing breath, then quickly shifted onto his knees and swung one of them over Remus’ lap. Remus sucked in a sharp breath and moved his hold on Sirius’ jaw, hands landing on his hips. He pulled back after a moment and stared at Sirius.

Remus looked gorgeous like this. His pupils were blown wide and his mouth was open and panting, hands twitching on Sirius’ hips. He could just barely feel _Remus_ against the inside of his thigh and his heart skipped a beat. He smiled shyly down at him.

“Hi,” he said. Remus huffed out a laugh, keeping his eyes on Sirius.

“Hi.” His voice was breathy and his face flushed. Sirius’ heart was beating an anxious rhythm in his throat, but he forced himself to calm down. This was perfectly natural, perfectly fine and _fun_. Sirius liked fun things, therefore he would like this. He would. Besides, no way he would take having Remus in person for granted. He probably wouldn’t be able to touch him again for months, so he had to take as much of it in as he could.

“Okay?” Sirius snapped out of his thoughts and looked down at Remus’ vaguely concerned face. He gave his best smarmy grin.

“Better than ever,” he replied, and dove back in.

_Remus_

If Sirius was trying to test his self control, he was doing a _very_ good job. Snogging and keeping his arousal to himself was one thing, but having Sirius on his lap? This only had disastrous results. Of course, if Alice were here she’d hit him for thinking these circumstances were disastrous. She’d tell him to snog the boy half to death and get his end away. It was a very tempting ideology.

Sirius shifted as he brought his hands up to Remus’ hair and jaw, and Remus let a shuddering gasp into his mouth. Bloody buggering hell, Sirius moving against him was _not_ what he needed right then. It didn’t help that Sirius was pressing hard against his chest and making tiny noises in the back of his throat every few seconds. It’s _especially_ did not help that Sirius had a penchant for tugging on his hair, the kinky bastard.

It really was shameful that after only a few minutes, Remus was hanging dangerously on the edge. He knew Sirius had to be able to feel him; he had given up not moving and was lightly rolling his hips every so often. He was breathing like he’d run a marathon and practically choking anytime Sirius made a noise or pulled at his curls. He kept his hands firmly on Sirius’ hips, though, and tried his best not to grip too hard.

He genuinely couldn’t tell if Sirius was teasing him, or if he had no clue what he was doing. Sirius himself was hard against Remus’ hip, but he didn’t seem to be anywhere as close as Remus was to disaster. It probably didn’t help that Remus hadn’t gotten off with a boy in _months._ Sirius was the first one to be hard and eager against him, and he didn’t think he’d last much longer. It only took Sirius shifting against him yet again for Remus made a distressed noise and pulled back.

“Padfoot,” he gasped, squeezing him lightly on the hips. “Whose pyjamas am I wearing?” Sirius, lips gut wrenchingly red, panted at him for a moment, his brows drawn together.

“I- what? They’re a pair of James’.” He was looking at Remus in confusion, a lot more put together than Remus was. Remus let his head fall back on the pillow, taking Sirius’ hand tangled in his hair with it.

“Right,” he breathed. Sirius shifted again and he bit down on a groan. “Right, well, we should probably take a break.” Sirius’ fingers twitched in his hair.

“Are you… We can keep going, if you’d like,” he said, voice trailing off in confusion. He almost sounded hurt, and Remus squeezed his eyes shut.

“I just-” He took an unsteady breath. “I just don’t think it’s very polite to come in another man’s trousers.” He heard Sirius take a startled breath and his hand twitched again in Remus’ hair.

“Oh,” he managed after a long moment. Remus grimace and lifted his head back up to see Sirius biting his lip uncertainly. He sighed and brought a hand up to his cheek.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“No, no, it’s okay,,” Sirius said quickly, giving him a smile. “Just a little surprising. Here, I’ll get off your lap, it’s probably not helpful.” He was already moving by the time he finished his sentence, and it was honestly a bit of a relief. “It’s flattering, really, that I could… I mean- well...” Sirius turned red as he shifted into a comfortable position beside Remus. Remus smiled softly and pressed a kiss to his hairline.

“I’m gonna run to the bathroom,” he said against his skin. “I’ll be right back.” Sirius nodded and Remus climbed out the bed and towards the bathroom to take care of himself.

**Sirius**

Well. That hadn’t gone completely terribly, Sirius thought to himself. He had been able to work himself up enough to get hard, and rutting against Remus hadn’t been entirely overstimulating. It _had_ been a little awkward, though, especially since Remus had so clearly been into it and Sirius had to fake some of that same enthusiasm. He hadn’t been the one to stop things, though, which he considered an utter victory. Although Remus stopped because he’d enjoyed it too much, while Sirius usually stopped things because he couldn’t manage to enjoy things at all. He sighed and rubbed his face.

It’d probably be wise to figure out whatever this sex aversion thing was, but he really didn’t know how he’d go about that. Even if he asked for help from James or Evans, how do you just go up to someone and say, “Oi, my dick doesn’t work correctly, what do you say I do about that?” He hadn’t even been able to properly come out to Prongs, he’d just admitted he fancied Remus. He groaned aloud and threw his arm over his eyes.

Life would be so much easier if he were just _normal_ . If he could just get it up like a fucking regular person and actually enjoy spending time with his… Fuck, Sirius wanted to cry. He truly didn’t know anything about anything, and knew absolutely _nothing_ about his and Remus’ relationship. If you could even call it that. Honestly all he wanted was to hold Remus and have him hold him, was that too much to ask for??

“Sirius?” Sirius startled and flung his arm away from his face. James was peeking his head in the curtains, concerned. “Did you and Remus have a row?” Sirius frowned.

“What? No. Why, did Remus say something?” James shrugged and shook his head.

“No, you’re just doing your weird sulky thing,” he replied. Sirius narrowed his eyes.

“What the fuck is my ‘weird sulky thing’?” He asked. James rolled his eyes and perched on the edge of the bed down near Sirius’ feet. Sirius kicked lightly at him.

“Oh, you know. That thing where you lay in bed and kick your feet and cover your face. It’s very recognizable.” Sirius huffed and kicked at him again.

“You’re so full of shite,” he grouched. James just shrugged again.

“If you say there’s nothing wrong, I’ll believe you, but…” He trailed off and met Sirius eye meaningfully. Sirius took an aggravated breath.

“I… It’s nothing all that serious, I just”

“Pads?” Remus’ voice came through the curtain. Sirius snapped his mouth closed and Remus stepped more fully around the curtain. “Oh, hullo, Prongs.”

“Hiya, Moony,” James chirped. Sirius patted the bed beside his head and Remus took a seat, automatically putting a hand in his hair. James shot him a ‘this conversation is _not_ over’ look before turning back to Remus.

“You two are the most touchy-feely couple I’ve ever met,” he said. Sirius kicked him again.

“Shut up, Prongs, you and Evans are the most disgusting couple to ever walk the Earth,” Sirius said, silently watching Remus try to hide his smile out of the corner of his eye. “You have no right to speak about anyone else.” Personally he was feeling a little giddy at the word ‘couple’ and that Remus hadn’t balked at it. Instead, that same canine was digging into his lower lip and Sirius took a breath against the fondness that overtook him. His overbite was the most wonderfully cute thing Sirius thought he’d ever seen.

“Okay, lovebirds, you can stop making goo goo eyes at each other now,” James snarked. He caught Sirius’ foot before he could kick him and smirked down at him. “Quidditch, lads?” Sirius rolled his eyes and turned to Remus who was watching their interaction, amused.

“Wanna go play some quidditch, Moons? We usually get a match or two in with our friends before I’m forced to hand off the dorm to James and Evans.” Remus made a bit of a face at the same time that James did.

“Oi, you are not _forced_ to do anything, it’s a mutually beneficial situation,” James said loftily.

“Stuff it, Prongs,” Sirius snapped. He turned again to Remus. “Quidditch, Moons?” Remus smiled awkwardly.

“Erm, I’m not much of a flier, but I’ll come and watch,” he said. James made a noise as if he were personally offended by this.

“Not a flier?! Remus, say this isn’t true!” Remus laughed at him and shrugged.

“Sorry, Prongs, I never learned,” he replied. James perked up that this and Sirius held back a sigh.

“Oh, but that’s perfect! We could teach you,” he said excitedly. Remus blanched at that.

“Oh, no, no thank you,” he said quickly. “I’m really not a fan of heights either.” James took a breath to argue but Sirius cut him off.

“That’s perfectly fine, Moons. It’ll be wonderful, I can impress you with my skills.” James snorted and said something that sounded suspiciously like ‘what skills’ and Sirius was only kept from violence by Remus’ thumb on his hairline.

“Sounds good to me,” he said placatingly. James scoffed loudly but didn’t argue. He pulled the curtain back and pushed up off the bed.

“Well, you two had better hurry up and get dressed, the quidditch field won’t be empty for much longer,” he told them, crossing to his bed and grabbing his quidditch clothes. Sirius looked back at Remus, who was watching after James. He poked him lightly in the stomach and Remus glanced back over, a smile gracing his lips.

“Should I just wear my clothes from yesterday, then?” He asked, plucking at his pyjamas. Sirius hummed thoughtfully.

“Mm, it’ll be pretty cold up in the stands. You’ll probably want something warmer than just your sweater and jeans.”

“Oh, well, I guess I could swing home and grab something.”

“That’ll take forever, though, and James is being impatient,” Sirius told him. Remus hummed contemplatively and Sirius bit his lip. “Or, you could always… You could wear something of mine. I’ve got loads of winter clothes.” Remus blinked twice before smiling.

“That sounds perfect, thank you.” Sirius grinned at him and sat up.

“C’mon then, let’s hurry up before James starts nagging again,” he said, clambering over Remus to get out of bed. Remus chuckled and stood up behind him.

“Alrighty, but I hope you have sweaters.”

_Remus_

“Of course I have sweaters, what do you think this is?” Sirius scoffed, plucking his wand from under the pillows. Remus rolled his eyes and Sirius strode over to the chest at the foot of his bed. He tapped the top of it once and murmured ‘sweaters’ before heaving the lid open. Remus came to stand beside him and looked curiously into it. Miraculously, it was filled to the brim with at least a few dozen sweaters, many of which were in much better shape than Remus’ at home. Remus nearly choked.

“Christ, Pads, I thought I was the sweater nut here! How many do you own?” Sirius shrugged sheepishly and slipped his hands into the pockets of his flannel bottoms.

“Erm, I dunno. This is my entire wardrobe from home, so probably quite a few. I also- well…” Remus shot him a curious glance and nudged him with his foot. Sirius grimaced slightly.

“I also may have bought a few more when you mentioned how much you liked them,” he said quietly, shifting on his feet awkwardly.

“Wait really?” He asked, trying to hide his flush of happiness. Sirius nodded.

“You made them sound so comfy, and I got a few oversized ones that would probably fit you.” He leant over the box and rifled through the neatly folded clothes, rumpling a few of them. He eventually pulled out a solidly tall stack of Remus-sized sweaters, closed the chest’s lid, and set the clothes he’d picked out atop it. “Here, these are the ones that should fit. Have your pick.”

Remus blinked at the stack. He had never considered how much money Sirius had but this… This made it seem like he was pretty well off. Not that sweaters were overly expensive or anything, but Remus couldn’t remember a time in his life that he’d had enough money to go out and buy a bunch of clothes on a whim. It made him a little more conscious of his own ratty clothes. He bit the inside of his lip and reached out to touch the clothes.

“Oh, hm, I’ll probably take two, if that’s okay, since you said it’s going to be cold,” he said, gently rifling through the stack. Sirius nodded and after a few seconds Remus picked out a thick black turtleneck. “I think I’ll probably wear this one underneath, but I don’t really care what I wear on top. Do you want to pick that out for me?” Sirius shot him a surprised, happy glance and nodded.

“I’d love to,” he said, leaning forward to peruse his options. “And I’m pretty sure that black one has a built-in warming charm, so that’s a really good choice.” Remus watched as he rummaged for a few more seconds before landing on one he liked.

“Here,” he said excitedly, “this is the one.” He shook the one he had chosen out and held it up to Remus. “Gryffindor red! No more of that slimy snake green.” Remus laughed and took the sweater from him. It was a nice deep burgundy red with gold around the collar and sleeves and what he assumed was the Gryffindor crest emblazoned on the chest. Sirius was grinning like a loon and, despite not being a fan of the color, Remus nodded appreciatively.

“I guess I had to give in to your required color palette eventually, hm?” Sirius’ grin softened into something warmer and he bumped his shoulder against Remus’.

“I mean, you do look unfairly good in green, but I can’t say I’ll be upset to see you in my color.” Remus’ heart jolted and he ducked his head to hide his blush. Damn, he never used to blush this easily; what was Sirius doing to him?

“Oh hush, you flatterer,” he berated playfully, nudging Sirius back. “And doesn’t this color belong to the entire house, not just you?” Sirius shrugged and looked down, fingering the material in Remus’ hands.

“I suppose, but I think it’s more romantic to say you’re wearing _my_ color,” he said, looking back up. Remus’ heart swooped again and he leant down to kiss him lightly on the lips.

“It’s wonderfully romantic,” he said as he pulled back. “Thank you for letting me steal your sweaters.” Sirius shrugged sheepishly and turned back to the chest.

“You can go ahead and put those on while I find you a warm pair of trousers,” he said absently, tapping the chest again and whispering ‘trousers’. “I think I have a pair that have warming charms like the turtleneck.” Remus froze at that and tried to think of something to say that would sound casual. He really liked Sirius, but he wasn’t exactly jumping at the chance to show off his scars.

“Erm, I think I’ll just change all at once,” he said eventually. Sirius shot him a glance but just shrugged and reached back into the trunk. He pulled out a pair of black jeans with rips across the knees, not unlike the pair he’d been wearing yesterday.

“Here you are,” he said, holding them out. “It’d probably be best if you enlarged them a little bit, but they’ll make do. They’re the warmest pair I’ve got.” Remus took them hesitantly. He’d never understood the point of intentionally ripping clothes when he worked so hard to keep his own mended, but they _had_ looked pretty good on Sirius.

“Thanks, Pads,” he said, folding the three garments up in his arms.

“You can go ahead and use the bathroom while I grab my kit,” he told him, once again closing the lid of the trunk. Remus nodded and headed off towards the bathroom to change into Sirius’ clothes. He was about to attend his first quidditch match, and he hoped he was well enough prepared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed, comment and kudos if you feel so inclined. And let me know any suggestions for future chapters! Xoxo


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: mentions of homophobia and sexual assault allegations. Nothing graphic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remembered far too late that in the UK they say ‘jumper’ instead of ‘sweater’. Whoops, forgive me lol <3

_ Remus _

The three boys walked out onto the field, Peter still MIA with the mysterious Mary. Remus felt a bit out of place, walking alongside the two fit quidditch players decked out in padding and carrying brooms. Wearing Sirius’ clothes, though, was very comforting and he had to stop himself from sniffing at the collar every thirty seconds. That signature scent of leather and red dirt clung to his clothes, and Remus found himself shivering despite the warming charms. He really was head over heels.

“It’ll be kinda windy up in the stands, Moony,” Sirius said from beside him. He and James had come to a stop at the edge of the field, not yet approaching the large group of students standing under the goal posts. Remus shifted uneasily at the crowd and turned to Sirius.

“The stands?” He asked a bit apprehensively. Sirius gave him a quizzical look then nodded and pointed across the field. Remus followed his arm, eyes landing on huge structures that he’d assumed were part of the game itself. Remus’ stomach dropped. “Oh, those are… tall.”

“The game’s played in the air, mate,” James laughed, repositioning his hold on his broom. “C’mon, the lads are waiting.” James took a step onto the field, beckoning Sirius. Sirius glanced at Remus.

“Er, give me a moment, would you?” He said, shooting James a look. James raised his eyebrows and Sirius shooed him with his hands. “I’ll be right there, okay? You can go ahead and get everything going, I know the routine.” James just shrugged and waved at Remus before jogging towards the crowd.

“Don’t be too long!” He called over his shoulder. Sirius ignored him and put a hand on Remus’ arm.

“Lily’s sitting in the Gryffindor stands,” he said quietly. “I’ll walk you up, if you’d like. I can mount my broom from up there.” Remus nodded a bit hesitantly, glancing again at the giant bleachers.

“Yeah, that’d be alright I suppose,” he managed. He didn’t know what he found so unnerving about heights. It was probably that he’d never in his life been more than fifty feet off the ground. And the image of Sirius’ broken arm and hip from a measly twenty foot fall wasn’t helpful. Sirius’ blinding grin, though, took the edge of his nerves quite nicely. Besides, Remus thought, he was in mortal peril on a regular basis. What was a few hundred feet compared to being torn limb from limb once a month?

**Sirius**

Sirius led Remus up the stairs within the Gryffindor stands, one of Remus’ hands in his and the other steadfastly gripping the railing. By the time they reached the landing that would lead out on the bleachers, Remus’ knuckles were white around the rail and his face was tight and pinched. Only a flap of red and gold tarp kept them from the roaring wind outside. Sirius glanced back at him.

“Alright there, Moony?” He asked softly. Remus gave him a wan smile and nodded. Sirius knew James would be going over the rules again, even though everyone had been playing for years. He likely had less than ten minutes before the match started. Nonetheless, he took a step towards Remus and kissed him gently on the lips. Remus made a startled noise and wrapped an arm around his waist.

They stayed like that for probably a bit longer than they should have, kissing languidly on the steps of the Gryffindor bleachers. Despite the November weather, it wasn’t overly chilly, especially in his heavy quidditch leathers with Remus’ warm body against his. After a few minutes, Remus pulled back. His face was flushed, his cheeks and nose a lovely shade of pink. Sirius grinned at him, and Remus gave a genuine smile in return.

“We should probably get out there, hm? Wouldn’t want to give James reason to come and find us?” Sirius asked. Remus leaned harder against him.

“Yes, that’s probably a good idea,” he sighed, sounding like it was not a good idea at all. Sirius chuckled under his breath and reached down to take his hand again.

“Come along, Moony, it won’t be as bad as you think,” Sirius said, tugging him lightly towards the flap. “You wanna see me fly, don’t you?” Remus followed, slightly less reluctant.

“Of  _ course _ I want to see you fly Padfoot,” Remus huffed. Sirius grinned at him over his shoulder and pulled him out into the gusting wind.

_ Remus _

The wind atop the Gryffindor stands nearly knocked Remus over. Sirius, of course, didn’t seem at all affected and just tugged him towards Lily, who was sitting a few yards away. The edge of the stands was to their right, and Remus resolutely kept his eyes on Sirius’ back in front of him.

“Oh, hullo boys!” Lily called cheerfully, waving with a mittened hand as they approached. The ginger was decked out in winter clothes, her mittens and scarfs blazing with that signature Gryffindor red. Sirius let go of Remus’ hand once they reached her to summon his broom and Remus felt a little more off balance. He chanced a glance at the railing a few feet to his right and his stomach flipped. Heights weren’t as bad as he thought they’d be, but they weren’t a walk in the park either. He quickly turned his head away from the ledge and Lily caught his grimace.

“What’s up, Remus? Are you feeling well?” Lily pushed up from the bench and came to put a hand on his shoulder. She was looking at him in concern and he gave her a queasy smile.

“I’m doing just fine,” he lied. “Just a little nauseous about the heights.”

“Oh is that all?” She asked. Remus frowned at her and she just gave him a serene smile and shook her wand out of her sleeve. “Here you are, love.  _ Vertiginenon _ .” The charm took Remus by surprise and he took a sharp breath as his nausea crested then drained away entirely.

“Oh, ok, wow,” he breathed. “Thanks Lily.” She patted him gently on the cheek.

“Anytime,” she said lightly. Then her happy face fell into a glare as she caught sight of something behind him. “Oi! Are you trying to kill my boyfriend, Prewett?” She slipped around him and Remus turned in time to see James hanging off a red headed boy’s broom by his knees. Both boys were laughing so hard they were just about crying. Sirius was floating on his broom underneath them, choking on his laughter as well, his arms outstretched to catch James should he fall.

“He did this himself, Evans, don’t get mad at me!” The red head cried. Remus shifted uncomfortably on his feet and shoved his hands in his pockets. More students on brooms were flying in to see what the commotion was, a few of them rolling their eyes and turning around when they saw that it was just James and Sirius. Lily had her hands on her hips and was berating Sirius for letting James get into this mess, and Sirius was shouting back that it wasn’t his job to control her ‘knobhead of a lover’.

“You look lonely,” a voice came over his shoulder. Remus jumped violently and turned to see a very pretty girl standing a few feet behind him. She had quidditch leathers on and a long black cloak. Her hair was a warm brown that off set her blue eyes. Remus paused in shock, amazed that he hadn’t heard or sensed her approaching. She gave him a pleasant smile and held out a hand. “Emmeline Vance. I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure of meeting.” Her voice was strong and confident, and Remus hesitantly shook her hand.

“I’m Remus,” he said softly, unsure as to whether he was supposed to be interacting with anyone outside of the Marauders. Emmeline nodded, retracting her hand, and tilted her head to the side.

“You’re not a Gryffindor, are you?” She asked and Remus’ stomach tightened. “I mean, you’ve got the jumper and all, but I haven’t seen you around.” Remus swallowed and shifted on his feet again. He glanced behind him, but there was no one paying enough attention to save him from this interaction. He turned back to her.

“I’m not a Gryffindor,” he said finally, and she nodded. “I borrowed the sweater from Sirius because of the weather.” He hoped that would be enough and she’d assume he was a Ravenclaw or something. However, she tilted her head to the side in that same peculiar way and gazed at him steadily.

“Okay. Would you like to go sit down somewhere?” She asked. He blinked at her before glancing behind him once more.

“Er…” It seemed that Lily had hexed a pair of antlers onto the ginger boy’s head, and James and Sirius were pointing and laughing. He looked back at Emmeline to find her smiling knowingly at him.

“I can tell you’re not one for crowds,” she told him. Remus frowned at her and she gestured toward the people behind him. “And I can also tell it’s going to take them at least another ten minutes to stop goofing off and actually start the match. We might as well take a seat.” Without waiting for a response, she turned on her heel and swept gracefully up the steps towards the extra seating. Remus reluctantly followed.

“Erm, so you’re on the team?” He asked as he took a seat beside her. Emmeline shot him a look that said that was a stupid question, but didn’t comment.

“Yes,” she said. “I’m the Seeker on the Gryffindor team. This isn’t an official match, though, and anyone can fly with us today.” Remus nodded and hunched his shoulders up by his ears. Even with the two sweaters and the built-in warming charms, the wind cut right through him.

Suddenly, a cloak was fluttering in front of him, and he glanced over in surprise to see Emmeline holding the dark garment out to him. She didn’t say anything and Remus hesitated for only a moment before taking it from her.

“Thanks,” he murmured, a little off put. She seemed a bit odd, but she was nice enough. Nice enough to offer her cloak and not point the glaring holes in his knowledge. Speaking of which… “Erm, would you mind telling me a bit more about the Gryffindor team? I don’t, er, follow sports all that much.” Emmeline laughed, as if this were a weak excuse (it was), and bowed her head in a nod.

“Of course. James and the twins, Gideon and Fabian, are our Chasers, with James as the Quidditch Captain. Sirius and Marlene are our Beaters. I’m the Seeker, as I’ve said, and Davey Gudgeon is our Keeper.” Remus bit his lip at the influx of knowledge and new names. At least he was a bit less clueless about Sirius’ friends. He and Emmeline were sat facing the crowd of students, and they watched them goof around for a bit in silence. Every so often, he noticed, Sirius' eyes would drift to them only to skirt away after only a moment. Remus frowned. Something felt… off.

“Erm, Emmeline,” he said slowly. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but is there a repulsion charm set up?” Emmeline blinked twice then turned towards him.

“There is,” she conceded, and Remus glanced sharply at her. “Only a small one. How did you even notice?”

“Why is it up?” He asked instead of answering. Emmeline sighed and waved her hand. “I wanted to talk to you,” she said, as if that were reason enough. “And the team is very distracting. Besides, you looked like you needed a bit of time away from the hubbub of it all. You’re quite welcome, you know.” Remus frowned.

“You just wanted to talk to me?” Emmeline rolled her eyes as if he was being intentionally obtuse.

“You obviously don’t go here, and everyone else bores me,” she said airily, and Remus was reminded of the aristocratic tone Regulus spoke with. “You’re the only interesting thing to happen in months, and I didn’t want anyone else to get to you first. Although it seems Sirius has already spoken to you, which I’ll admit is a little annoying. How did you get on grounds, anyway? Did Dumbledore invite you? Are you from Beauxbatons? I know they tend to wear muggle clothes around.” She flicked her hand toward his jeans and sweater and Remus swallowed.

“Er… no, I’m not from Beauxbatons.” Emmeline hadn’t given him reason to distrust her, but he also wasn’t going to come right out and say he was homeschooled. He knew there were blood purists out there, and he thought it’d be safer to just keep the conversations away from where he was from. “I noticed the repulsion charm because I think Sirius is looking for me.” He gestured to where Sirius was laughing at something one of the Prewetts said, his eyes still wandering.

“Oh, he’s looking for you, how sweet,” Emmeline said, and Remus couldn’t tell if it was sincere or not. “Well,” she said, standing up and dusting non-existent debris off her quidditch gear. “It looks like James wants us on some warm up laps anyway, so I’ll let you go. We’ll talk later?” Remus stood with her and awkwardly shoved his hands back in his pockets.

“Oh, uh, sure, we’ll, er, talk later…” Remus trailed off as Emmeline was already gliding down the steps to where she had stashed her broom. She shot him a grin and swung her leg over the sleek wood.

“I’ll hold you to that,” she called as she pushed off the ground. “Besides, you’ve still got my cloak!” Remus’ mouth popped open, but before he could respond or try to remove the garment, she shot off towards the goal posts. He stared after her for a long moment before rubbing a hand over his face. What an entirely strange girl.

“Moony!” Remus turned to see Sirius climbing the steps towards him, broom over his shoulder. “Where’d you go? I was looking for you but…” He trailed off as he got closer, and paused a few steps below him. “Is that Lily’s cloak?”

“Oh, er, no, it’s Emmeline’s,” Remus said, fingering the fabric awkwardly. Sirius’ eyebrows shot up.

“Emmeline Vance’s?” Remus nodded and descended the few steps between them.

“It was really quite weird. She set up a repulsion charm because she wanted to talk to me? Oh, and she knows I don’t go here.” Sirius watched him a bit incredulously for a moment before his hands reflexively came to rest on Remus’ hips.

“That is extremely weird,” he told him, shuffling a bit closer. “Emmeline keeps to herself a lot. I don’t think I’ve had a full conversation with her in years, and she’s on my team!” Remus chuckled and put his hands over Sirius’.

“Yeah, well, it doesn’t matter,” he said, kicking at Sirius playfully. “I didn't come up here to talk about Emmeline Vance, I came all the way up here to watch some posh prat play Quidditch. Am I gonna get what I came for, or did I brave the heights for nothing?” Sirius snickered and glowered at him.

“I suppose I should go warm up with everyone else,” he mused, leaning further into Remus. “Although I’m feeling pretty warm right now, so I don’t really see the point.” Remus rolled his eyes and rubbed his thumb over the back of Sirius’ hand.

“I’m not quite sure that’s what James had in mind when he said to ‘warm up’,” Remus murmured, leaning down. “But I can’t say that I care about what James wants right now.” He leaned fully forward and was about to press a kiss to Sirius’ lips when he jerked back. Remus startled but quickly caught his balance as Sirius glanced around before turning back to him.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he said, putting a hand on Remus’ arm for a moment before pulling back. “I’m, er, fuck.” He was on the step below Remus, glancing behind him and wringing his hands anxiously. Remus looked over his shoulder and noticed Sirius’ friends swooping around nearby. The two of them were in plain sight. Oh. “It’s just that-”

“I understand,” he lied. Well, it wasn’t quite a  _ lie. _ He understood why Sirius didn’t want to kiss him in plain view of all his friends and he didn’t hold it against him. That didn’t mean it didn’t suck, though. He’d hidden his relationships all his life, and he’d thought he’d finally found someone he could  _ be  _ with. Go on dates with and kiss and hold rather than just getting off in some dark corner. Wizarding society was supposed to be different, wasn’t it? Yet he felt the exact same shame and anxiety he always had.

“Moony?” Sirius was clutching his own elbows and frowning up at him. Despite the pit in his stomach he managed a smile for him.

“It’s okay, Pads,” he said. “You should go join your mates, anyway. We can…  _ hang out _ after the match, yeah?” Sirius was still looking at him in concern but slowly nodded.

“Yeah…” he said slowly, swinging his broom off his shoulder. ”Er, but you’re… You’re staying all day, right?” Remus couldn’t help but laugh at that, and shoved Sirius’ shoulder gently.

“Of course I am, dumbarse. You couldn’t keep me away if you tried.” Sirius ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Alright, that’s- hah, that’s good to know.” He glanced up Remus through his lashes and laughed. “Okay, I should get going. I’ll talk to you after the game?” Remus nodded, still smiling.

“Yeah, I’ll talk to you in a bit.” Sirius nodded, seemingly more to himself than to Remus, and shuffled down the steps to the landing. He gave Remus a quick smile and wink before hopping on his broom and shooting off towards the other players. Remus watched him fly for a moment before shaking his head and heading down the steps towards where Lily sat.

“Was that a row?” She asked over her shoulder as he approached. Remus huffed a laugh and fell onto the bench next to her.

“You heard that?” She shot him an amused glance

“Some of it,” she said, nodding pointedly at the cloak he was still wearing. “It  _ is  _ kinda really weird that Emmeline singled you out to talk to.” She had a strange look in her eye and Remus shifted uncomfortably.

“What?” Lily shrugged and looked back towards the field. The match was already under way.

“I was just under the impression that you were… more of a man’s man than a ladies man.” Remus huffed out a laugh and ran a hand over his face.

“I’m… both,” he said eventually. “Although admittedly more of a, what did you say, man’s man?” Lily snickered but nodded. “But even so, Sirius and I…” He trailed off uncertainly.

“So there  _ is  _ a ‘Sirius and I’?” Lily asked quietly. Remus bit his lip.

“I… would like to think so.  _ I _ think so.”

“What exactly went down between you two? You don’t seem as awkward as you were before.” Remus smiled to himself, the memory of their first kiss washing him in warmth.

“I kissed him,” he said. Lily gasped and clutched his knee.

“Really? That’s great!” She said, squeezing his leg. Remus couldn’t help but laugh at her tone.

“Yeah it’s…” He thought of the feeling of Sirius in his arms, the sensation of waking up beside him. “It’s  _ really _ nice.”

“So, you’re what? Dating?” Remus grimaced and her brows went up. “No?”

“No…?” He said slowly. Lily stared at him.

“What? You’re not sure?” She asked. Remus dropped his head into his hands.

“I don’t  _ know _ ,” he groaned. “I- I’d _ like  _ that, but we haven’t exactly talked about it and I’m not exactly… brave. I don’t know how to bring it up.” He heard a muffled laugh and turned his head to see Lily covering her mouth with a mittened hand. “Laughing at my misery, are you?” Lily giggled again and put a gentle hand on his back.

“You just remind me of how I was when James and I first got together.” Remus frowned.

“In a good way? Like, you think we’ll end up like you two?” He asked. Lily gave him a smile.

“I have known Sirius for several years now,” she told him gently. “And never once have I seen him choose anyone over James. Then you came along.” She shrugged and set her eyes back on the game. “I don’t know if that means something, but it seems significant to me.” Remus nodded slowly, turning to look at the game with Lily.

Sirius was swooping around, smacking bludgers at startling speeds away from James and the red headed twins. Remus watched him fondly, his mind wandering. He watched Emmeline circling high above, too, and wondered. If he were with her instead, would they be able to kiss in public? Could he take her on dates and hold her hand and snog her in the corridor in the middle of the day? Would he be able to love her openly and fully without anyone batting an eye? He felt like somewhat of a masochist; being with boys had only ever brought him pain and misery, but he didn’t want to stop. He wanted to be with Sirius, more than he could ever remember wanting anything. And he wanted Sirius to want him, to damn the odds and be with him despite everything.

In the back of his mind, he could hear the first boy he’d ever kissed pleading to his father that he hadn’t been  _ doing  _ anything. That Remus was nothing to him, that it wasn’t like that. He could feel that boy’s father’s hand on the back of his neck, too, as he hauled him out of the barn and told him to never come back. He thought of the lies his so-called ‘friend’ in grade 10 had spread when a girl in their year had caught them at it. At least, it seemed, there was something worse you could be called than a poofter. Gay was only a step up from rapist, though, and he still hadn’t been able to show his face at that school ever again.

Remus sighed quietly to himself and watched Sirius whiz around happily on his broom, cawing in victory every time he successfully diverted a bludger. He would make this a positive experience for Sirius, Remus decided. He deserved to have his first kiss be with someone who was proud to be with him, and Remus refused to let things get mucked up the way they had been for him. They might have to keep things under wraps for a while, but that was fine. Remus could deal with a bit of secrecy, and Sirius was more than worth it.

As he flew by, Sirius caught his eye and grinned so brightly that Remus swore he felt something break inside himself. He waved excitedly and Remus smiled so hard his cheeks hurt. Decision made, Remus waved back and settled in to watch his boy kick arse at quidditch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a kudos and/or comment if you enjoyed. I adore hearing y’all’s opinions/what you picked up on!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not working as much right now, so I’ve got a lot of free time and energy to write. I hope you enjoy!

**Sirius**

The entire time Sirius was playing the match, the only thing on his mind was Remus. It was like he’d been slipped a love potion, his looming obsession with this boy. Now that he was in the air and not constantly touching him and reaffirming that this was  _ real _ , he had time to process what had happened. Remus has  _ kissed  _ him. They’d snogged and Remus liked him and Remus wanted to keep snogging him and wear his clothes and sleep in his bed and  _ fuck.  _ Sirius smacked a bludger away and nearly hit Marlene in the process.

“Oi, watch it pretty boy!” She shouted, turning sharply on her broom to avoid colliding with him. He grimaced at her in apology and sped off to divert another bludger that was ricocheting towards James. Shite, he really needed to focus, Remus was watching him this game. Not that Remus seemed to know any of the rules, but he still wanted to impress him.

Sirius pulled back as he saw Marlene dive for a bludger near Fabian, and circled the field for a moment. Not seeing any of his chasers in danger, Sirius quickly swept by the Gryffindor bleachers. A quick visit wouldn’t hurt, he thought to himself, and he managed to catch Remus’ eye. His heart flopped dramatically and he knew he was grinning like a madman, but he couldn’t really control his face. He raised his hand in an overzealous wave and nearly fell off his broom, but Remus waved back, grinning, so it was worth it.

Satisfied that Remus was happy watching him, he turned his attention back to the match. Well  _ some  _ of his attention. Admittedly, most of it was still stuck resolutely on how Remus looked in Gryffindor red and ripped black skinny jeans. Because  _ Merlin. _ When Remus had first walked out of the bathroom with those trousers on, Sirius had damn near had an aneurysm. Remus, being the absolute tree he was, had the most ridiculously gorgeous legs Sirius had ever seen. He was just lovely to look at all around, if Sirius were to be honest. The way he pulled his sweaters down around his palms, the way he rubbed his hand over his face when he was confused, the way he tried to put his hands in Sirius’ hair whenever they were touching. All of it was disastrously cute, and Sirius couldn’t get over how sweet and gentle he was. 

Suddenly, Sirius wanted very badly for the match to be over. There were more students that wanted to play than there were positions, and Sirius wondered if he could switch out mid-game. He only had the day with Remus, after all, and right then he wanted nothing more than to quit and spend the rest of the day in Remus’ arms and just listen to him talk. Sirius wanted to know everything about him. He wanted to hear about what it was like growing up as a wizard in muggle society, what it was like to kiss a boy for the first time. He wanted to hear about his mother, who he assumed was lovely, and his father, who he knew wasn’t. He wanted Remus to tell him about his lycanthropy, the in’s and out’s, and what Sirius could do for him. He wanted to ask him about his sweater obsession and give him some to take home. He wanted to be with Remus forever.

That was the root of the issue, he thought as he batted another bludger away from Fabian. He wanted to date Remus, not just kiss him this once and then barely ever see him again. He wanted to be his boyfriend and get to see him every weekend and be secure in the idea that Remus was  _ his. _ Merlin, that sounded territorial but it was true. Sirius wanted Remus to himself, now and forever.

Just as he was thinking this, Emmeline dove in front of him, streaking for the minuscule golden ball flitting near the ground. He pulled his broom to a stop to watch her, and thought absently of the cloak Remus still had around his shoulders. That hadn’t been… flirting, had it? Surely Emmeline wouldn’t try to get with Remus; he was  _ gay _ for Merlin’s sake! Or at the very least interested in boys. Did that mean he definitely wasn’t into girls, though? Sirius had never heard of someone being about both, and Sirius himself definitely wasn’t. He’d have to look into it or ask Remus, he decided as Emmeline came up from her dive. She was holding the snitch in one hand and smirking self-assuredly. Sirius sighed and slumped over on his broom. Thank Merlin the game ended early, he didn’t know if he’d be able to survive another hour of this.

Distantly Sirius heard James whoop in victory, but he was already swooping towards where Remus was sitting in the stands. Lily and Remus stood as he approached, and Sirius landed a bit unsteadily in his haste to get there.

“That was amazing, Padfoot!” Remus said, his face bright in the chilly air. “I don’t think I could ever fly so fast. How do you manage to hit those balls and not fall off your broom?” Sirius laughed, a bit out of breath.

“They’re called  _ bludgers, _ weirdo,” he said, taking a step towards Remus. “And, hey, do you wanna go to the library with me?” He wanted to get Remus out of there as quickly as possible so he wasn’t roped into another game. Sirius felt a gust of wind on his back, and James touched down beside him.

“Library? Are you quitting on us this early?” Sirius gave James a hard look and nodded.

“Yeah, I think I’d prefer to spend the day with Moony than flying around. Besides, there’s others who want to join in; I’ll go ahead and give up my spot.” To Sirius’ surprise, James just shrugged and leaned in to wrap an arm around Lily.

“Whatever you want Pads, just make sure you don’t run into McGonagall or anything. She’ll rip you apart if she figures out you snuck someone in.”

“We’ll be careful, Prongsie, don’t you worry,” Sirius said, patting him heartily on the shoulder. James laughed and shoved him off.

“Alright, well we’ll see you later tonight. We’ve still got the dorm, remember?” Lily rolled her eyes and put her hand on James’ chest.

“Oh, we don’t need it today,” she said, her tone a bit reprimanding. James spluttered.

“Lily, what?! We only get the room once a week! You can’t give it up now!”

“ _ James _ ,” she said sternly. “We can be together any day, just let the boys have it.” James stuck his lower lip out comically and Sirius grinned at Lily.

“Thanks, Red,” he said happily. He reached out to pull Remus towards the castle, but caught onto Emmeline’s cloak. “Oh, but could you give this back to Emmeline for me please, Lils?” He glanced at Remus in askance and he smiled and undid the cloak at his neck. He handed it to Sirius who handed it to Lily as James made a face.

“Did you say  _ Emmeline _ ? When did Remus get Emmeline’s cloak?” Sirius waved his hand impatiently.

“Not important,” he said, grabbing the corner of Remus’ shirt and tugging him towards the ledge. As they approached the railing, Remus slowed down and put a hand on his arm.

“Erm, are we not going down the stairs?” Remus asked, clearly confused but following Sirius diligently nonetheless. Sirius paused to pick up his broom and turned back to look at Remus.

“The quickest way back to the castle is by broom,” he said. He snapped his fingers and the broom floated obediently in front of them. “We  _ could  _ take the stairs, but then we’d have to cross the field and that’s a bit hazardous once the match starts.” James had already shot off to pull a new beater to replace Sirius in the line up. Remus bit his lip uncertainly and rubbed a hand over his nose.

“Do we have to?” He asked quietly, glancing over the edge. “I mean, I  _ can _ , but I think I’d really prefer not to…” He met Sirius’ eyes hesitantly and he wilted.

“Of course not,” he said, and Sirius saw him relax a little. He felt a bit bad for bringing it up, but he’d kind of wanted an excuse to have Remus holding on to him. Oh well, he thought, maybe some other time when they were closer to the ground. “Here, if we take the stairs now we might even be able to avoid getting hit by rogue balls.” Sirius headed towards the stairs, Remus and his broom following along.

“Didn’t you call me a weirdo a minute ago for calling them balls instead of bludders or whatever the fuck they are?” Remus asked, stepping ahead of him to hold the flap to the stairs open. Sirius smiled at him and stepped through, waiting for Remus to follow before responding.

“ _ You  _ were talking specifically about  _ bludgers _ ,  _ I  _ was talking about all the balls in the game. That’s why I get to say balls and also call you a weirdo for saying it.” Remus shook his head but smiled at him nonetheless.

“Your logic is astounding, Padfoot,” he chuckled. Sirius just shrugged him and grabbed his sweater to pull him close.

“And I have wanted to do this for upwards of an hour,” he said and kissed him hard.

“Mmnm!” Was Remus’ only response before he leaned down and wrapped his arms around Sirius’ waist. Sirius threw his arms around his neck and stood on his tippy toes to keep himself at the right angle to kiss Remus deeply. Remus’ hand was clutching at his lower back, and Sirius sighed into his mouth.

This was heaven, truly. He had gotten a bit chilly after his quidditch endorphins had worn off, and now he had Remus’ strong arms around him and he was pressed against his warm chest. This is what he  _ loved _ . He loved being pressed up against the people he cared about and being held by them. It made him feel so safe and loved and euphoric. He wished he could meld with Remus, become intertwined with him and never leave his side. It was such a sappy thought, but Sirius couldn’t remember the last time he felt this content, this warm and happy and cared for.

“Mmn, Sirius,” Remus breathed, pulling back for a moment. Sirius whined and tugged at his hair, trying to pull him back down into a kiss. “Padfoot, baby, hold on.” Sirius’ heart stuttered and he dropped back onto flat feet.

“Did you just call me baby?” He asked breathily, dragging his hands down to rest on Remus’ chest. Remus looked startled for a moment then rubbed a hand over his face sheepishly.

“Oh, I didn’t think-”

“That’s so fucking cute!” Sirius said, a warm feeling seeping through him. ”Wait, do it again.” Remus laughed and ran his hand over Sirius’ sides lovingly, making him shiver.

“If I knew you liked it so much,  _ baby _ , I would’ve used pet names from the start,” he said and Sirius grinned. Remus’ deep voice and barely-there Welsh lilt made his heart melt and he stepped further into Remus’ space.

“Please always call me that,” he said, getting back on his toes to try and reach Remus’ mouth. Remus, the bastard he was, lifted his chin, keeping just out of his reach. “Oi, bastard, get down here!” Remus shook his head and looked down again only to cover Sirius’ lips with a finger.

“What I was  _ going _ to say earlier was shouldn’t we get going before another match starts and we’re stuck here? I mean, as much as I love being here with you, it  _ is  _ a bit chilly.” Sirius sighed and dropped flat onto his feet again. Remus was right, as much as he hated to admit it. Even though they were out of the windchill, it was still significantly cold.

“Fine,” he said grudgingly, turning again towards the stairs. “We’d better hurry if we wanna make it down the stairs and across the field in time.” Sirius grabbed Remus’ hand, which was covered by his sweater sleeve as per usual, and pulled him down the steps. “I want to show you the library anyway.” Remus huffed a laugh and followed him.

“Alright then, lead the way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the nice comments😭 It absolutely makes my day to read what you say and I refresh this work like 10 times a day looking for new ones lmao. As always, if you enjoyed or have any questions pretty please leave a comment! <3


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back! I had strep last week, so it took me a hot minute to finish this chapter. Also, I’m going to go ahead and label this work as complete, but don’t worry, there is DEFINITELY more to come. Enjoy!

_Remus_

It was wonderfully toasty back in the castle, and Remus was forced to remove his top sweater and deactivate the warming charm on the turtleneck. This was greatly protested by Sirius, who whined endlessly on their walk to the library.

“This is a personal offense,” he exclaimed as they walked through the corridors. There weren’t a lot of people, but there were enough that Sirius wasn’t holding his hand, much to Remus’ disappointment. “Removing _my sweater_ , which you look ridiculously pretty in, by the way, is an affront that simply cannot be forgiven!”

“This building is ridiculously hot, Pads, even by my standards,” Remus replied demurely, folding the red sweater over his arm. He hadn’t missed Sirius calling him pretty, and he tucked it away into a corner of his mind to fawn over later. “Besides, I thought you’d want me in _less_ clothes, not more.” He watched Sirius out of the corner of his eye and hoped the joke landed correctly. Sirius just laughed bumped shoulders with him.

“I like you in _my_ clothes best, dumbarse, I thought that was pretty clear.” Remus ducked his head and felt Sirius’ eyes on him as he blushed.

“You’re a sweet talker, you know that?” Remus muttered, hand brushing over the scar on his nose. “A bloody sweet talker.” Sirius laughed and bumped into him again.

“It’s not sweet talking when you’re telling the truth, love.” Remus scoffed, a smile still on his lips.

“This is what I mean! You just can’t help but charm me to death can you, you daft pureblood.” Sirius shoved him, and Remus bounced back, smashing their shoulders together. Sirius stumbled before steadying himself with a hand on Remus’ shoulder. “Merlin, stop that! I’m trying to get to the library in one piece, plonker.” Remus shrugged and threw an arm around his shoulders, going for the casual mates look and likely missing the mark by a mile. Sirius didn’t seem to mind at all.

“This castle really is bloody huge, isn’t it?” Remus asked, looking around at the incredibly high arched ceilings and seemingly endless hallways. “It’s about the size of my entire bloody town.”

“Ah, a small town lad, are you?” Remus snorted and shrugged.

“I guess you could say that. My city, Rhyl, has about 30,000 people in it, I think, so it’s not too small. It’s qu- oi, what’s so funny?” Sirius’ head was thrown back, his bark-like laugh accosting Remus’ ears.

“30,000 people _is_ that small! I technically grew up in _London_ , the population there is, like, 9 million. ‘Not too small’ my arse.” Remus grinned and cuffed Sirius lightly across the head with the arm he had around his shoulders.

“What d’you mean you _technically_ grew up in London, city slicker?” Sirius shrugged and waved a hand around.

“ _The Most Ancient and Noble House of Black_ resides in London, thank you very much, but I wasn’t allowed out that much. Y’know, psychotic family and all.” Sirius said this flippantly, but it felt like a big piece of information to Remus. He didn’t hear much about his family, besides the fact that they were notoriously awful and likely blood purists.

“What did you do with all your time in the house?” Remus asked carefully.

“Mm, well, when I was younger it was nearly all lessons. I had lessons all day every day, even on the weekends. But after I got to Hogwarts and James knocked my head on straight, I tended to lock myself in my room and read magazines I’d swiped from Pete, or listen to music on the record player James gave me in second year. Have you ever listened to Bowie? He’s bloody _ace_ , and a big part of my, er, _awakening_ , if you will,” Sirius babbled, Remus watching him fondly. ” _Then_ after my mother broke the player, I would sit in my room belting the songs I remembered until she eventually silenced me. I also used to play with Regs, too, before he turned into a prat, of course. Oh, and I snuck into London a few times to see punk shows, too, but the punishments when I got caught were too severe so James told me I couldn’t go out anymore. Something about him being tired of me ‘intentionally endangering myself for a little bit of shite music’. Which, really, is bollocks because, _hello_ , The Vibrators aren’t shite and my parents were the ones endangering me. So, James was kind of full of shite, but I listened to him because he seemed really torn up about it. Although I was the one actually getting torn up.” Sirius laughed and looked at Remus to share in his amusement, but Remus was taken aback.

“Torn up?” Was all he could manage to ask, his mind working a mile a minute. Sirius had made his parents out to be awful, but not physically abusive _._ He himself hates his Da, bed he’d never laid a finger on Remus. Sirius sobered a tiny bit and shrugged nonchalantly, turning to look straight ahead.

“Yeah, but that’s all in the past. I’m living with James now, and all that rot, so… Oh, here, the library’s just up ahead, come on!” Sirius sped up, grabbing Remus’ hand in the empty hallway to pull him along. Remus followed, mind reeling. “‘Lo Madam Pince!” Sirius called, earning himself a glare from the spindly old librarian. Ignoring her obvious distaste, Sirius pulled Remus through the stacks and into a secluded back corner.

“Oh wow, Padfoot, this is lovely,” Remus murmured, as he was led into a beautiful back corner. There was a sunny window seat against the right wall, and a set of comfy armchairs at the end of two bookshelves. A desk was nestled in the corner with a satchel already resting atop it and many textbooks spread haphazardly across the surface. “Er, are those your things?” Sirius plopped down into one of the armchairs and gestured lazily at the satchel.

“Ah, nah, I’ve stolen this spot from Lily. I’m not exactly the swotty type, as we’ve established.” Remus laughed and went to sit on the window seat, pulling his knees up to his chest. The rips in the jeans pulled across his knees and he poked at the strings curiously.

“You stole Lily’s spot? Isn’t she going to get on you for nicking it?” Sirius scoffed and pushed up from his chair, coming to sit directly beside Remus on the window seat.

“Well, you know, it’s a very secluded spot, so I’m sure Lily will forgive me for snatching it from her.” Sirius laid his hand on Remus’ knee, brushing the strings with his thumb, and leaned in so they were touching from ankle to shoulder. Remus smiled fondly down at him and tucked a lock of his hair gently behind his ear.

“You know she gave us the dorm, right? We didn’t have to steal her corner of the library, too.”

“Yes, well, I’m sure Lily isn’t going to be studying today, so I think we’re in the clear,” Sirius said, inching closer. Their lips were a bare inch apart now, and the tension was wonderful after spending the entire morning apart. Well, except for when they were in bed, of course. And in the quidditch stands before the game. _And_ in the quidditch stands _after_ the game. Oh, well, the tension was wonderful anyway.

“And what if she comes and catches us snogging on her favorite window seat, hm? What then?” Remus asked, breath ghosting across Sirius' lips. Sirius just snorted stared at him with half lidded eyes.

“What snogging?” He teased, eyes a beautiful smoky grey. “You haven’t even kissed me yet.” As he said this, he licked a stripe across Remus’ lips, sending a shiver of arousal through him.

“Oh come here, you pest,” he laughed, and pulled Sirius in by the jaw. Sirius went willingly, slipping that playful tongue into his mouth and making Remus shudder once more. Sirius’ hand on his knee slid up to his thigh and Remus pulled him enthusiastically closer by his top. Sirius fell toward him, clearly not expecting the yank, and Remus allowed himself to be toppled into his back, taking Sirius with him.

“Mmnf, Moony, fuck,” Sirius huffed as their teeth clacked and he had to resituate.

“Ah, sorry Pads, here, come like this.” Remus pulled at Sirius’ leg so he was once again straddling his lap and brushed his long hair off his face. Sirius was staring down at him, breath puffing in small gasps and Remus’ stomach swooped at the sight of the boy on top of him. Sirius’ face was flushed and gorgeous and Remus very badly wanted to see what he would like writhing beneath him. He thought it’d be the most wonderful sight he’d ever seen, and he hardened considerably just at the mental image. Remus thought he may just die if he ever experienced that in real life. Well, that was a chance he was willing to take.

With a hungry grin, he pulled Sirius down and attempted to snog him within an inch of his life.

**Sirius**

Sirius was in quite the pickle. He was once again splayed over Remus’ lap, snogging him into oblivion, with his erection pressing hard against Sirius’ hip. They were making quite a lot of noise in the back of the library, and Sirius almost hoped Madam Pince would take notice of them and break the whole affair up. He also knew from experience, however, that this spot was very private and no one but Lily herself would likely come across them.

It wasn’t that Sirius didn’t like Remus, or that he didn’t want to be intimate with him. That was the furthest thing from the truth. It was just that he didn’t really understand the appeal of touching and being touched in intimate places. Well, he wouldn’t mind _touching,_ he didn’t think, but being touched seemed entirely awkward and unpleasant. Even touching himself, though necessary at times, was overall uncomfortable and only performed when his body demanded it. 

Before Remus had come along, he’d been able pass by talking a big game about the birds he’d nailed because the girls in school were always throwing themselves at him. He had neither confirmed nor denied the rumors that he’d fucked dozens of birds, just gave a coy wink and let people assume what they would. It had worked surprisingly well up until this point. 

Currently, though, he had someone he actually cared about. He wanted to get into it with Remus because he liked him _so much_ , but physically he just couldn’t fathom someone else’s hands on or, _Merlin forbid_ , in him. Even Remus’. It made for a uniquely awkward situation where he felt he owed Remus either sex or an explanation, but felt completely unable to provide either. Every time he tried to explain how he felt, the words jumbled in his head and an incredible amount of shame overcame him, even though it was something he’d reasoned out in his head a million times.

He just didn’t want to disappoint Remus. He knew he already looked like a prudish closet case, and he didn’t want to actually be one. He wanted to be like the boys Remus had been with before, but even better. He didn’t want to deny him of the one thing everyone else had been able to give him. He wanted to be like those other boys but _more_ , not less.

“Mmn, ah, Sirius,” Remus moaned, bucking up into his lap and arching at the way Sirius was mouthing at his neck. The problem, Sirius had discovered, was that he was somehow _good_ at this. This was the second time that he’d had Remus writhing and moaning underneath him, seemingly seconds away from coming. It wasn’t much of a surprise, really, what with all the tips and tricks he’d heard from James and Pete, both about wanking and the actual act of sex. It honestly helped that he wasn’t into it, because it made it that much easier to read Remus’ signals and respond accordingly.

Luckily, despite Sirius’ personal lack of enthusiasm about the way Remus’ cock was rolling against his, his prick was taking a keen interest in the sensations. In this way, at least, he didn’t disappoint. Remus had one hand on the back of his thigh and the other clutching at the hem of his shirt. Sirius was caging Remus’ head with his arms, both hands buried tightly in his tawny curls. Slowly, Remus slid his hand up his thigh, taking his time to allow Sirius to object.

Sirius didn’t say anything, not concerned about Remus palming his arse. It didn’t really occur to him as a sexual act, it mostly felt the same as being grabbed on the thigh or shoulder. It did give Remus the ability to press Sirius’ hips down even harder as he grinded up against him, which was vaguely uncomfortable, but Sirius didn’t particularly mind. Mostly, he just kept focused on the wonderful sensation of Remus’ tongue in his mouth and hand at his waist.

“ _Nnngh_ _Siri_. Ahh fuck, Sirius! I’m- ah, I’m so fucking close!” Remus threw back and screwed his eyes shut, hand squeezing his arse and hips grinding harshly against Sirius’. Sirius, unsure of what to do at this point, just buried his face in Remus' neck and laved at the skin there with his tongue. Remus continued making almost pained noises, and on impulse Sirius bit into his shoulder. Remus gasped raggedly and went tense all over. “Ah- ah _nghhh_ aghnhhh _Sirius!”_ Remus’ hips stuttered and his grip on Sirius’ bum tightened considerably before Remus’ entire body relaxed and he fell back against the cushion beneath them.

Sirius, still embarrassingly hard, stayed atop Remus as he panted beneath him. Sirius also took a moment to catch his breath, somewhat worn out from the constant snogging. After a moment, Remus’ hand spasmed on his waist, and he took a breath before pushing up onto his elbows and looking at Sirius dazedly.

“Hi,” Sirius breathed, placing his hands on Remus’ shoulders. Remus huffed a laugh, still breathing hard, and squeezed Sirius’ arse lightly.

“Hullo, gorgeous. That was… fantastic.” Sirius couldn’t help but feel a flush of pride at that, and he leaned forward to give Remus a sweet kiss, erection pressing awkwardly against his stomach. Remus gave a gasp and pulled his hands up to rest on Sirius’ thighs. “Christ, Sirius, you’re like rock! You didn’t come?” He was looking at Sirius in surprise, clearly having thought they had both gotten off.

“Oh, I…” Sirius didn’t know what to say. If he’d been _normal_ , he would’ve come thirty seconds after the grinding started; this _was_ his first time, after all (barring that morning in bed). Instead, he was sitting there, painfully hard, his cock straining very obviously in his trousers. 

“Do you want me to help you with that?” Remus murmured, a smile hesitantly clearing the surprise from his face. “I’m sure I could help finish things off.” His hands started to drift towards Sirius' crotch, and Sirius panicked slightly. He shifted his hips back and grabbed Remus’ hands, holding them in both of his.

“No I’m- that’s okay, thank you,” he said quickly and Remus frowned slightly, making Sirius’ stomach drop.

“That looks incredibly uncomfortable Sirius, are you sure?” His hands weren’t moving anymore, but Sirius’ heart was still going a mile a minute.

“I’m fine, thank you,” he repeated, a little clipped, and Remus’ frown deepened. He pulled one of his hands from Sirius grasp and placed it gently against his cheek, looking at him in concern.

“Is something wrong? Are you alright?” Sirius nodded, avoiding his eyes, his shoulders pushing towards his ears. “Did I… Did I do something wrong?” Sirius shook his head hard, but Remus looked entirely unconvinced. “Sirius,” he said softly, turning his face toward him gazing at him with so much care in his eyes that Sirius felt like crying.

_This is the moment_ , Sirius thought. He could say it now. _I don’t want you to touch me_ . No, _Merlin_ , that sounded terrible. He wanted to touch him all the time, just not like that. _I don’t want sex._ But that wasn’t exactly it. He liked getting Remus off, it made him feel powerful and loved. _He_ just didn’t want to be touched sexually, but that sounded too fucking weird to say.

Remus was looking at him expectantly, and Sirius' heart lodged itself firmly in his throat. He bit his lip and looked away again.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said finally, his voice choked. _Coward_ , he thought furiously. _Stupid fucking coward._ Remus was nodding slowly, his eyes still intent on Sirius’ face.

“Okay,” he said carefully, rubbing Sirius’ cheek soothingly. “Just… I didn’t hurt you, or anything?” He sounded so worried that Sirius had to look back at him, shaking his head viciously.

“ _No_ ,” he said fiercely, ashamed at the way his voice choked off. “I’m _fine._ ” He squeezed his eyes closed and tried to regulate his breathing. _Stupid fucking coward_ , he growled to himself. _Can’t even talk about sex without panicking._

“Sirius, you’re worrying me,” Remus said, brushing a tear he hadn’t realized he’d shed off his cheek. Sirius kept his eyes closed, trying to wrestle his emotions under control. Remus sighed shakily beneath him. “Maybe I… Maybe we did this too soon, I should’ve waited until you were more prepared.” Sirius wanted to kick himself. Here he was worrying Remus to death because he couldn’t tell him the simple truth.

“ _No_ ,” he said again, grabbing Remus’ shirt and looking at him intently. “That’s not it at _all_. I’m not- I’m not crying because of you or- or _this._ You’re- you’re- _this_ is _lovely_. I love- I’m crying because I… _Fuck!_ ” He dropped his head against Remus’ shoulder and took a shuddering breath. “I’m _crying_ because there are things I want, I _need_ to say and I don’t- I can’t figure out how to say them and I’m frustrated with myself and I- I owe you an explanation and I just _can’t-_ ” He broke off into a sob and grit his teeth against the tears leaking from his eyes, hating himself for having a complete bloody meltdown in the middle of the library. He was crying in earnest now, doing his best to control his breathing so he didn’t make any embarrassing noises as Remus carefully gripped his arms.

“Here, love, let’s sit up and we can talk, okay? It’s going to be alright, angel, just sit up and breathe for me, come on.” Sirius sniffed and let Remus reposition them so Sirius was sitting on one side of Remus with his legs laid across his lap and feet on the other side. “There you are,” Remus said quietly, petting his hair. “Just take your time. Talk to me when you’re ready.” Sirius kept his face pressed against Remus’ chest, listening to his heartbeat as he tried to even out his breathing.

He had bollocksed this up so badly it was kind of unbelievable. Here he was, crying into the boy he’d just gotten off’s shoulder because he couldn’t string a simple sentence together. _I don’t like being touched._ How simple was that? Much fucking simpler than having a panic attack in the middle of a shag. Fuck, he should just say it. Just get it out there and get the whole ordeal over with. Remus would probably go home and never speak to him again, but it was better than continuing like this. He took a deep shuddering breath and cleared his throat.

“I…” His voice broke off weakly and he kicked himself again. _Stupid fucking_ **_coward_ ** _._ He hiccuped a breath and Remus pet his hair lovingly again.

“Take your time. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.” Sirius worked on steadying his breathing and considered asking Remus to forget this entire thing ever happened and head up to the dorm instead. He kicked himself immediately. No. He was doing this now.

“I’m okay,” he said quietly. “I just… Okay, first of all, I’m sorry,” he said and Remus’ hand tightened in his hair. “And before you say it, I know I don’t need to apologize, but I want to. This… This was _lovely_ , and I don’t want you to think that I didn’t enjoy it or- or that you crossed any lines. It’s just that- fuck it sounds so stupid, but I just… I’m not interested in- in, like, being… touched like that. I- I don’t like being touched there at all, actually. Ever.” He paused and let Remus take that in. “Does that… Does that make sense?” Remus shifted slightly, thumb rubbing along Sirius’ hairline.

“You mean that… That you don’t like being touched sexually, right? That’s why you didn’t want me to help finish getting you off?” His voice was soft and hesitant, as if he were scared of getting it wrong. Sirius nodded against his chest.

“I don’t… It’s going to sound weird, but I don’t like getting off. Even, er, by myself. That’s why… I’m- I’m sorry I kind of lost the plot there a bit, I just didn’t know how to tell you and I didn’t want you to think that I wasn’t into you or something. I am- fuck, I am _very_ into you.” Sirius carefully pulled back to give Remus a shaky smile. He was already looking down at Sirius, an indiscernible look on his face. Sirius bit his lip and his face softened. He placed his hand gently against his cheek.

“ _Sirius_ ,” he said, voice soft but intense. “I _need_ you to tell me when you’re not into something I’m doing. You could’ve- We didn’t have to go as far as we did today, if you weren’t comfortable. I don’t _ever_ want to do anything you’re not 100% into.” He sounded more worried than freaked out, and something in Sirius relaxed at that. He still had more to explain, though. He sat up a little straighter, so it was more comfortable to look at Remus as he spoke.

“That’s not- I _was_ comfortable, though,” he said, laying a hand on Remus’ chest. “The only part that I don’t really like is being touched. I don’t mind, er, touching and I… I liked what we did. I just, I’m not likely to get off. It’s not really something I _want_ to do or- or like to do, but I _liked_ getting you off. I think that’s- I think that’s okay. Fuck, does this make any sense at all?” Remus was watching him, a hesitant smile slipping over his features.

“I think so, I just… I mean, it was all okay? Up until the last bit, of course. Like, you enjoyed being on my lap and everything?” Sirius nodded enthusiastically, repositioning again so he was laying more fully against Remus, his hand coming up to hold Remus’.

“ _Yes_ , I love being close to you like that. And, well, I mean, even if I didn’t personally get any, like, _sexual pleasure_ out of it because I- I don’t think I _can_ feel sexual pleasure, which, trust me, I know is really weird, I still _really_ like you and doing things like that with you. I just... I don’t think that’s something I can ever d-do. I can’t- I can’t get off with you, if that’s what you want. Or, I don’t, er, I don’t mean to assume that you’d even want to- I mean, I know that you don’t necessarily…” Remus was watching him, looking half amused and half baffled, and Sirius trailed off miserably. “Erm, I think I should stop talking now…” He turned and buried his face in Remus’ neck, feeling his soft laugh vibrate against his cheek. Remus’ hand slid down to Sirius’s shoulders and he pulled him fully into a hug.

“I don’t need you to get off with me, love,” he said gently, and Sirius sighed into his skin.” I don’t even need to get off myself if that makes you uncomfortable, which I know you say it doesn’t, but just so you know. I don’t- I don’t need sex from you, and this isn’t a problem for me. I like you because you’re funny, and witty, and damn ridiculous. And sure, you’re bloody fit, which doesn’t hurt _at all_ , but that’s such a small part of how lovely you are. Just… Don’t think this is an issue for me. And please, _please_ , never hesitate to let me know if I’m doing something you don’t like, okay? You being happy and comfortable is the most important thing to me.” Sirius nodded into his neck, arms slipping down around Remus’ waist.

His erection had completely abated by now, thankfully, but he knew he’d have to wank sometime soon or else he’d wake up with his pants soiled; wet dreams were a bitch. Right now, though, he was just enjoying sitting with Remus’ arms around him, having finally told him the biggest thing weighing on his mind. Remus rubbed his back and dropped a kiss into his hair.

“Do you understand? Is everything… alright, now?” Remus continued, almost babbling. “I mean, you know I like you no matter what, right? And that I would never give you up over something so trivial? You’re- you’re the sweetest boy, or person, really, that I’ve ever talked to and I want… Well, I want a lot out of- out of _this_ . Mostly I want _you_ , sex or not. Which, I guess means- or what I’m _trying_ to say is… I- Oh, fuck, Sirius, will you go on a date with me?” Sirius startled and pulled away to look into Remus’ eyes.

Remus had the cutest, awkwardly hopeful look on his face and Sirius nearly fainted away right there. He didn’t even know how to respond, his mouth working uselessly before he finally managed an enthusiastic nod. Remus’ face lit up.

“I’m- really? You’ll go out with me?” Sirius nodded again and leaned forward eagerly to kiss Remus’ face off. Remus wrapped his arms around him, cradling the back of his head with one large hand. Sirius pulled back when he thought he’d gotten his voice under control.

“When do you- and where?” He asked excitedly, stumbling over his words. “I mean, I want- As soon as we can, yeah? We could do it next weekend, if you’re free? Since we’re Seventh Years we’re allowed off campus on the weekends and I could meet you in London, or something? Or- or maybe in, erm, Reel? And we could, I dunno, pet some sheep or something?” Remus laughed and brought his hand around to cup Sirius’ jaw.

“Slow down, you nutter! Do you mean Rhyl, like, my town?” Sirius nodded and Remus laughed again, that daft tooth poking out adorably. “We could do that,” he said, “or London. We can do anything you want, love, anything at all.” Sirius grinned at him, cheeks hurting from how hard he was smiling.

“Anything at all,” Sirius repeated, “as long as I’m with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, kudos, and bookmarks are GREATLY appreciated. Love you all!


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back ;))

The very next weekend, Sirius found himself apparating into London for his first date with Remus. The week apart had been excruciating. As soon as Remus had left, the two of them had texted back and forth nonstop, quickly making plans for this weekend. Now the day was upon them and Sirius was anxiously excited. He stumbled to a stop outside the Leaky Cauldron, not quite used to apparating yet, and glanced around. The sidewalk was mostly empty, just a few people loitering outside the tavern. Sirius didn’t see Remus anywhere. He started toward the entrance to the Leaky Cauldron when a sharp whistle caught his attention.

“Oi, pretty boy! Over here!” Sirius whirled around to see Remus leaning against a building across the street. He was dressed in that endearingly raggedy style he had: a black cable-knit sweater, a comfy looking pair of khakis, and a beat up pair of boots. It was actually quite stylish if Sirius did say so himself.

“Did you just whistle at me like a dog?” Remus grinned a little meanly and crossed the street toward him. “And what were you doing over there?” Sirius continued. “Were you trying to scare me? Oh, and don’t call me pretty boy. Oi!” Remus wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him close enough that Sirius had to lean back if he didn’t want their heads to slam together. Sirius clutched at the front of his shirt for balance, doing his best to glare up at Remus who was smirking down at him.

“Just what do you think you’re doing now? We’re in the middle of the sidewalk.” Remus leaned down so their noses were brushing and Sirius had to cross his eyes to meet his gaze.

“You haven’t seen me for an entire week and all I get are questions and orders? I’m hurt, Pads, really.” Remus pressed a kiss to his cheek and Sirius bit his lip and turned his head a bit to look around behind Remus. It didn’t seem like anyone was around, but the Leaky Cauldron was one of the most popular entrances to Diagon Alley. He didn’t want anyone to be able to walk up and see him wrapped up in Remus no matter how lovely it was. A gentle hand on his chin turned him back to face Remus.

“Erm, Moony, maybe we should-” Remus shook his head and tucked a strand of hair behind Sirius’ ear.

“I already thought of that. I’ve got a disillusionment charm  _ and  _ a repulsion charm going.” His hand slipped down to Sirius’ neck. “Now, are you going to give me a proper greeting, or did we come all this way for nothing?” He had a gleam in his eye that made Sirius tingle down to his toes and Sirius couldn’t hide his smile. He wouldn’t let him off the hook that easy, though.

“Now, Moony, are you suggesting we kiss before our first date? I’m scandalized!” He wrapped his arms around Remus’ neck and leaned back, earning a grunt as Remus tried to keep them from toppling over. “Really, I thought you were more noble than that.” He dug his fingers into Remus’ hair, eliciting another grunt.

“You - _ ouch  _ Sirius - you just love teasing me, don’t you?” Sirius shrugged and loosened his fingers from where they had wound tightly in Remus’ hair. He leaned back in, relishing in Remus’ arm tightening again around his waist.

“You’re no better,” he grumbled, “calling me pretty boy all the time.”

“What? I call ‘em as I see ‘em.” Remus had an aggravating smile on his face and Sirius scrunched up his nose.

“Flirt.”

“Tease.”

“You already used that one.”

“Doesn’t mean it’s not true. I can’t even get a kiss, I might just wither away.” Sirius couldn’t help his snicker.

“Aww, poor ickle Remus, can’t handle a few days without me.” 

“No, you’re right. I really can’t.” Sirius’ stomach swooped happily and he gave Remus a crooked smile.

“Okay, okay, come here you crybaby.” Sirius leaned back in, but Remus’ thumb was on Sirius' lips before they could meet. He grinned down at Sirius’ frown.

“I don’t know, pretty boy. If you’re so insistent on waiting...” Remus was wearing a shit eating grin and Sirius tugged at his hair again.

“If you’re doing this to tease me, I’m going to hit you.” Sirius leaned in again, only to be dodged by a laughing Remus once again.

“ _ Remus _ .”

“I’m being serio-  _ genuine _ .” Sirius narrowed his eyes and Remus sighed. “Don’t you think it could be kind of fun if we waited to kiss until we’ve actually been on a date? I mean, that’s how this was supposed to go, anyway, I just got carried away.” Sirius paused.

“Did you have plans to ask me out before you kissed me?” Remus shrugged and gave a small smile.

“Vague plans, but yeah.” He scratched at the scar on his nose. “I mean, I thought we hit it off at Hogsmeade and I really wanted to ask you out that night, but then we were hugging in the corridor and you smelled really good and why are you laughing?” Sirius covered his mouth with a hand and tried to keep from snorting.

“You kissed me because you liked the way I smelled?”

“Shut up! That wasn’t the only reason, but, yeah, it didn’t hurt.”

“Mmn, what do I smell like? Surely not wet dog or anything like that.” Remus flicked at his ear.

“Quite vain are we?” Sirius stepped intentionally on his foot. “Oi, it would serve you right, smelling of wet dog. Can’t have you being attractive in every way possible. You have to have at least one fault, don’t you?” Sirius couldn’t suppress a smile at this.

“You think I'm attractive in every way?” Remus rolled his eyes and poked at Sirius’ cheek.

“Don’t get a big head now, sweetheart. Just because you look good and smell good and dress well… Huh, I forget where that sentence was going.” Sirius did his best to tamp down on his grin, but it was an uphill battle.

“You are such a brown noser! We’re never gonna make it Diagon Alley if you stand here paying me compliments all day.” Remus was watching him with fond eyes that made his stomach erupt with butterflies. Remus didn’t say anything for a long moment, eyes on Sirius and a smile on his lips. Sirius kicked him on the shin. “What? Why are you staring?” Remus shrugged vaguely, pressing a bit closer.

“I dunno. It’s just nice to see you.” He stopped a few bare inches from Sirius’ lips, their eyes locked. Sirius barely had room to bite his lip.

“Are we really waiting?” His voice was just above a whisper. Remus shrugged again, jostling them dangerously.

“I think it’d be nice. The best part is always the anticipation, don’t you think?” Sirius was inclined to disagree. Very, very inclined. But it seemed like something Remus really wanted. And he couldn’t deny how good the low burn in the pit of his stomach was. Maybe this could be fun.

“Come on, Moony,” he murmured. “Diagon Alley won’t wait forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it short? Yes. Is it a bit shit? Yes. But is it content? Hell yeah.


End file.
